I spent last night in my tuxedo for the monthly meeting of a board I am a member of. The meeting was fine -- a little contentious but in a good way--, the dinner was forgettable, the wines not great. That was ok. I was on my own for the evening, staying in the city, dressed up, and for once, not pressed for time. That was the key to my feeling good, you see. Not being pressed for time. I did not have to worry about the train schedule or getting to sleep in time so that my wife had enough rest or making sure that I had enough sleep to be able to get up for the early train or anything. I stepped off the treadmill for the evening. It was very relaxing. Even if you only take your vacation from life in four hour doses, sometimes the right four hours is really medicine enough.

But what made the whole evening terrific was the conversation later.

After the dinner part of the meeting ended, I found myself in the bar with two older gentlemen from the board. One was in his early 80's and the other in his late 70's. We chatted for a long time over brandy. The topic of virginity came up and the elder fellow told us about losing his when he was 16. He came into NY with some chums from prep school and found himself with a much older woman, a prostitute. They all drew straws and he got to go second. He said she actually lit a cigarette and told him that he had until the cigarette finished burning to "complete his mission". He confessed he wasn't sure what his mission was! Anyway, he said he did go back to her one more time, after redeeming some of his dad's soda bottles to get another $5. I asked him if he brought a cigar with him for the second time and when he asked me why, I said, "well, cigars burn a whole lot longer, don't they?" He threw his head back and roared.

All in all, it was a fabulous way to end the evening as these two older gentlemen reminisced about their mis-spent youths. I felt quite lucky to be included in their conversation.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:53 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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For what, I cannot say. But I feel poised, balanced, suspended between what has passed and what will occur. To a certain extent, we all are, aren't we? Every second of the day we live in a moment until the moment is no longer and we are in the next one. But sometimes, rarely, but sometime we can sense that exquisite tiny balance. Sometimes we become aware of how precariously we are perched in the present, not quite out of the past, not quite into the future.

I noticed it this morning as I was waiting for my train. It was 5:25 a.m. To my left, a short walk away, is the Long Island Sound and a charming beach. The sun was rising from that direction. It was painting the sky in bands of pink and orange and purple, all clearly delineated as if G-d had finally learned how to color within the lines, thank goodness. Above the colors, it was a very sweet baby blue. To my right, it was still night, complete with moon and stars and mostly black sky. And there I was in the middle, suspended between day and night, between yesterday's darkness and today's light. It was as if time had stopped for a moment, leaving me there to appreciate the balance as the clock ticked over for another day.

Perhaps I feel it because spring has, technically, arrived, although you wouldn't know it based on the serious cold snap we are trapped in. The cold weather actually makes you feel it better, the sense that you are suspended between time. You know spring is coming, because little green things are beginning to poke their heads through the earth, because I no longer travel to and from work entirely in darkness, because you can just feel it. But it is February cold, still, like winter hasn't quite finished with us. We are poised to shed our heavy coats and embrace the weak spring sun but it is not quite ready for us. We are expectant but still anticipatory.

Maybe it is because we are countdown mode for the arrival of our new child. Induction will be, as I mentioned before, on April 21, if he or she does not decide to poke his or her head out earlier. We are both ready (happy for the pregnancy to finish) and utterly unprepared for the birth.

Either way, I feel it -- hung up between possibilities. It can be exciting, sometimes. Like while I wait for a friend to provide introductions so I can continue to explore career change options (or futures, either instrument, really). The possibility is tantalizing, the reality of the perceived immediate professional future significantly less so.

I'm not sure where I am going with this entry but that's ok. I'm not sure what's going to happen when this pause between moments ends and I am launched, however unwillingly, into the future. Care to come along for the ride?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:42 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 I'm there with ya. I have these points in my life where I'm waiting for something, not always sure what, and it feels like I'm suspended in time, nothing is happening but I know something is happening. It drives me nuts because I hate waiting for things, I would rather get the good/bad over with and then get on with things.

Posted by: Oorgo at March 21, 2006 02:59 PM (lM0qs)

2 always happy to come along on your little rides, RP! these little poetic musings are what keep me coming back to your site! good luck with everything.

Posted by: grammarqueen at March 21, 2006 04:31 PM (glf8i)

3 Always our pleasure to ride shotgun with you, RP.

Posted by: Wicked H at March 21, 2006 04:58 PM (BQhBn)

4 As long as I've got control of the stereo, we're good to go. K.

Posted by: Kathy at March 21, 2006 09:07 PM (zgB3S)

5 Aah. It's been awhile since I was out early enough to see a sunrise. Sweet. Thanks for the memory.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 22, 2006 10:38 PM (i0pwT)

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I know that of late my poor little blog has suffered. I know that. IÂ’ve seen the number of daily hits go down. But, between the quite encompassing demands of my job and the demands on the home front, my poor little blog has gotten squeezed out a bit. Couple all of that with the fact that I am a bit down and, well, the blog suffers as my motivation to write declines. IÂ’ve had some time, this week. Not a lot of time, but enough time to think it through a bit and hereÂ’s where I am, hereÂ’s why I havenÂ’t been writing. I have been feeling fey. Quite down, actually. A feeling that I am communicating with only great difficulty here. IÂ’ll explain.

I am feeling overwhelmed by the idiotocracy. The feeling that the forces of stupidity are beating the forces of good. The sense that, looking at the world, we are not in a good situation at this point. True, there are sprinklings of good news here and there. See, e.g., recent elections in Canada as a ray of hope. But, by and large, it looks bad and it has my down and too tired to keep fighting the good fight. If you are unsure about what I am referring to, let me give you a non-exhaustive list:

*Venezuela – Chavez is a nutburger with oil money and strikes me as being a menace.

*Bolivia – Morales. Need I say more? If so, let me note that the Cubans and Chavez’s people have taken over security for him and he has dismissed the entire army general staff. Not good. We need our secret equipment back.

*Jimmy Carter – Hasn’t met a terrorist he can’t empathize with. As for his election to the Presidency, I demand a recount!

*Al Gore – Put a sock in it, Al. Telling the Saudis that we abuse Muslims is so beyond the pale that you, sir, are committing treason in my book.

*Israel – Looks more and more alone every day and seems unjustifiably to inspire more hatred and fear than anyone out there. I fear for her future.

*Jews – The world looks not so good for Jews these day, truthfully. I wonder if there has been more naked anti-Semitism in the world at any other time, WW II excepted. I worry about what I am bringing my kids into.

*Cartoons – Free speech and the great tradition of Western Liberalism has just been shot in the head and buried in a ditch behind the Mosque. Bravo to the Danish Government and brickbats to the craven Norwegians who officially apologized for free speech.

*Islam – This a religion of peace, are you kidding me? This is a religion which seems fundamentally incompatible with world peace and with anything approaching Western values. Why are we tip-toeing around on this? The Islamic world sure isn’t. Am I really the only one who thinks we are in a full blown ideological conflict, the biggest one since the Cold War ended?

*Europe – Further to the point above, by the way, I think it don’t look too frigging good for Europe. Pity. As one comedian once said, “Nice country; we beat them in world war II, you know?”

*Kids, today, or Moral relativism / Multiculturalism – What passes for the willingness to entertain a dissenting point of view today on our college campuses is nothing short of admirable, if your name is Josef Stalin, that is. Colonel Boyington and the University of Washington, springs to mind by way of example. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Google it, rinse and repeat.

*Media – Big media is no longer worthy of trust. Can you believe the amount of ink spilled over Cheney’s hunting accident? Tell me, honestly, that the media has become one huge partisan hack. You can’t; because it has.

*Politicians – of either party. All they seem to be doing is scoring points on each other. They are not doing the people’s business. I am totally disgusted. When will we get politicians who govern instead of this lot? Maybe we get the politicians we deserve, but I’d like to think we deserve better than this lot.

*Africa – Repression in Zimbabwe, so bad that I have ceased trying to record it since the world clearly does not give a fuck. AIDS in every other country. Corruption. Starvation. Everyone dying and no one caring.

*Iran – Are we really gonna let these nice people get a bomb? Enough said.

This list could go on and on. But it wonÂ’t. One more point, though:

*Truth – I leave off on this point. When was the last time someone actually stuck to the truth in advancing an argument? When did everything become spin? This is the last casualty. I am so dispirited by the lies.

No wonder I can only find energy to write about my kids, lately.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:22 PM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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1 If you think things are worrying in the US, think again. It's much worse in Britain and ten times worse than Britain just across the Channel in Europe. Remember: in the Netherlands there are politicians who are forced to live on military bases, along with their entire families, because of the current threat. Imagine if John McCain or Joe Liberman were held up in Fort Benning, GA along with wife and kids, all normal existing coming to an end. There are many people, both in Europe and America, who are willing to be exceedingly brave personally, but the mere thought of harm coming to one's family is the most frightening thought. Being a family man yourself you can no doubt sympathise with them.

Posted by: Andrew Cusack at March 10, 2006 03:15 PM (kxskO)

2 I agree with you RP. What has this country come to?

Posted by: jules at March 10, 2006 04:05 PM (6wMtR)

3 This post resonates with me, and I know exactly how you feel. BUT, I also try to remind myself that history is replete with turning points that, more often than not, ultimately bring this old world to better place. In the struggle to establish justice and to secure freedom and opportunity for every man and woman blessed to be born into this rediculous wonderland, there are going to be bold advances, measured steps and setbacks. But the struggle goes on not toward some silly idealistic Utopia, but toward a world where the struggles are for success in life, not simply for life itself; a struggle to make the most of one's freedom, not for freedom itself. We seem to be at a turning point upon which hinges the future of freedom and the value of life itself. Will the champions of freedom and the value of life defend them with all vigor, or will they cower and give up the struggle because it's too hard, or doesn't seem to matter to anyone anymore? I'm not frightened of the future. I believe that we are seeing a three-way confrontation between the forces of oppression, tyrany and intolerance on the one hand; the forces of freedom, optimism and security on the second hand; and the insidious force of apathy on the third hand. But, it's always been this way! There does seem to be a lot more shamelessly callous "spin" these days, but there's also a lot more exposure of that rot. F'rinstance, no DNC chairman before Howard Dean has ever said something remotely like "I hate Republicans and everything they stand for", but, then again, no DNC chairman before Howard Dean has ever looked so rediculous. This technology at our disposal has shoved the tribulations of every corner of the world into our faces, but it'll also bring the wisdom from every corner of the world to every other corner, and we'll be better for it, I trust. The times they are a-changin'. I've often said that we're strong because we're rich and we're rich because we're free. Tyrants, therefore, always lose. They may kill millions in the process, but they always lose. It ain't over yet. Not by a longshot. Keep the faith, my friend!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at March 10, 2006 10:24 PM (frcLH)

4 Oh, I do so understand. The Republic of Kathyland looks better and better everyday. You and the fam can come and join us if you want. The smokes and booze will be duty free and everyone will mind their own business if it kills them. Come on Powerball!

Posted by: Kathy at March 11, 2006 01:54 AM (zgB3S)

5 Hey RP. I haven't been around much due to my own lack of feeling very gregarious lately; sorry. It hasn't been due to any lack of fine posting on your part. :-) But I do relate to your State of the World impressions. It's why I'm glad/sorry my sister gave us a year's subscription to "The Week" magazine. Now I'm all up to date with how we're all going down the tubes ....yay.... :-(

Posted by: Amber at March 13, 2006 03:16 PM (zQE5D)

6 I've been pretty much the same, RP I completely sympathize. I don't post much about the world, because it's too damn scary and depressing these days. The thing is, events are turning out like I predicted they would and I don't like it when my own predictions come true because I tend to be a negative bastard. I think there are a lot of people sitting back waiting and hoping for normalcy to kick in, but I don't see a future where it will, or at least not the kind that we are familiar with. I was hesitant having children and even now I worry about their future. I don't agree with you on the recent election here in Canada, the only positive thing about it is we are seeing the real Stephen Harper now that he's in office. One example, his plan to dump the ethics commissioner when he found out they were going to investigate his own actions. I feel like both our countries are being run by the great deceiver, and that there are blinders on many of our eyes.

Posted by: Oorgo at March 13, 2006 04:41 PM (lM0qs)

7 Agree. Agree. Agree. Agree. Agree. Multiply times three.

Posted by: Mark at March 13, 2006 11:12 PM (3Kv+F)

8 Hear, hear. It got to where I couldn't even be a freakin' Pollyanna at my site anymore due to raging stupidity. It's enough to make me wanna cry. But I'm not gonna. And besides. . .there are a lot of free blogging sites where I can be incognito. Right? Please don't give up, sweetheart. You're one of the Good Guys. xoxo

Posted by: Margi at March 14, 2006 02:05 AM (BRtaN)

9 I am so dispirited by the lies. I think I'll go back to watching the news. 'Cause that line pretty much sums up every day in *my* life with the 17 year-old from hell. Your headlines up there are very nearly...refreshing...in comparison. Or at least they remind me I'm not the only one who's got it bad. Or something.

Posted by: Jennifer at March 14, 2006 10:46 AM (jl9h0)

10 Yeah, what you said. Then I look back at the moments when Great Events happened, and the times before them, and I think to myself "I wonder if this is how people felt before X happened, that sense of an impending change, that I may be seeing a possible Great Event on the horizon." Almost feels like tornado weather--immense pressure, uncertain winds, and the possibility of something touching down that you can just make out in the distance. I don't think it's the first time in our history that the kinds of events listed have happened, but it doesn't make me feel any better.

Posted by: Mandalei at March 15, 2006 09:26 AM (LcyhB)

11 I know. I just... I don't know. Focus on the good things, I guess.

Posted by: Hannah at March 19, 2006 09:34 AM (ImQx2)

12 You hit the nail on the head. The silver lining on my cloud o' "too busy" is that I only get 2 to 3 hours or so of news coverage a day now (in the car whilst driving). It has done wonders for my outlook on life. My new favorite bumpersticker: "I'd rather go hunting with Dick Cheney than driving with Ted Kennedy."

Posted by: Jim at March 21, 2006 05:32 AM (oqu5j)

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So, there I was in the fitness center this morning, after completing my workout, chatting with a couple of friends, one of whom is off to Amsterdam for her first trip. She's going for business, to close a very nice deal, and one of her business associates suggested that in celebration she get herself a pot brownie. This sort of scandalized my very nice friend and led to me making the following observation:

You know you're getting old, and I feel like I am all the time, when you kindly respond to the offer of a pot brownie by saying: gosh, thanks, but I'm on a low carb diet and I really can't eat that.

Water came out of my friend's nose. A successful snarf.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:07 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 That's hilarious, RP, thanks for sharing.

Posted by: Oorgo at March 08, 2006 04:06 PM (lM0qs)

2 I have a friend who used to know the precise moment when I was swollowing to get water to snort out of my nose. That was a painful year. Great one liner RP!

Posted by: Angie at March 08, 2006 05:45 PM (PQx1b)

3 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If I was drinking, it would come out my nose too, after that! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Posted by: jules at March 09, 2006 12:39 PM (KTn+k)

4 I'm so very relieved that I finished eating lunch before reading this.

Posted by: Allison at March 09, 2006 02:30 PM (DLrVA)

5 You Americans..

Posted by: dr pants at March 09, 2006 08:28 PM (glVUp)

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Margi is hanging up her blog. Go wish her well, will you? She's one of the really good ones, you know. I'll miss her writing, very much.

My only consolation is that she has done this at least once before and decided she couldn't stay away. I'm hoping that history repeats itself in this regard and she comes back soon.

So, instead of good bye, I will simply wish her a nice break and keep my fingers crossed.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:02 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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So, the birthday party of the Boy Child was grand. He threw himself around all over the place and loved it. Predictably, the cake was his favorite part. I had a good time, too. I put the camera down and spent as much time as I could chasing him and the other kids around the gym. It made for a very enjoyable party and a nice payoff for all the time I've been spending in the fitness center. In other words, I'm totally in shape enough to play and play hard.

I've actually been keeping a log, since Jan. 3, of my workouts so that I can show the doctor at my annual physical, which physical I need to schedule soon. Since Jan. 3, I have traveled some 130 miles and burned around 22,000 calories. Is it any wonder I have had to bring my cummerbund in on my tuxedo? That doesn't include all the weight lifting and pilates and general daily ab work. I will be, if this keeps up, the perfect picture of pumpitude.

D.C. was great. It was an excellent meeting for an informational interview, ending with an offer to not only continue contact but to have me meet with his colleagues if I thought it would be useful. That is really about as good as it gets with an informational interview. And it was mighty useful, filling my head with interesting ideas and thoughts and information about how to effectuate a career change into the financial services / investment management world.

Speaking of which, by the way, the one guy here in NY I was trying to summon up the courage to call next, just called me to invite me out for a drink because he wanted to learn more about the topic of the speech I gave last night. He heard that my speech was fantastic and he wanted to chat about it. Upon his return from foreign climes, we are going to meet up and I am going to share information with him and then ask him for his thoughts and, if willing, his assistance in making some introductions. This guy knows everyone, is terribly senior, and extremely well thought of. Somehow, he likes me and respects me. That he called me? A perfect alignment in the cosmos, somehow.

D.C. was chilly but beautiful. I know I repeat myself, but I like the place. Something to do with the human scale of the height of the buildings and the real youthful vibe it actually has. I got to steal lunch with my cousin and take the train back to NY with my dearest friend from law school, with whom I spent the entire ride chatting, reminiscing, and catching up.

Now? Well, now I am back in appellate briefing hell while, with the other hand, trying to keep a settlement from blowing up. Would you, dear reader, be so stupid as to let a million dollar deal go down the tubes for the sake of $150k? Well, after three days of intense conversations, I have convinced my clients to be flexible and bid that money goodbye in exchange for receiving the bright shinny other money. Some people, I tell you, can't keep their eyes on the ball.

Anyway, I hope you all our well and happy.

If I know you, and you know what I mean, and you are curious to see a picture from the Boy Child's birthday party, and promise to gush appropriately, drop me a note.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 05:19 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Tomorrow finds me leaving the house at 5:00 (right around my usual time, come to think of it) to head off to D.C. for a morning meeting. One meeting. Many hours of travel to partake in said meeting. While in D.C., after my meeting, I will have lunch with my cousin and ride back on the train with my bestest and dearest friend from law school. It should, from a social perspective, by quite a snappy day.

Oh, and the meeting, if it all goes swimmingly, could just result in a change of career somewhere down the line. It is an "informational interview". You know, you get to ask all sorts of questions while the other guy gets to decide whether you are smart enough to interview for a real job without any pressure to make a decision. At least, that's how I hope it will all pan out. We will see, won't we.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:36 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I read the following statement by a curator of a new exhibit and it filled me with joy, the kind of joy you can only get when you realize you dodged a blivet (a fifty pound sack filled with one hundred pounds of horse manure):

"This exhibition is about arriving at a point of hypervision, where our senses are acute and we finally perceive the act of looking as a physical, emotional and transformative experience,” said Markonish. “The artists participating in ‘Hypervision’ bring viewers into this space of increased perception and make them conscious of their own act of looking."

Can you imagine spending your days in an environment where such language was not only acceptable but actually encouraged?

*exaggerated shudder*

I'm happy to keep thinking about art. Its the reading about it I can't seem to do anymore.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:33 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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When nursing a hangover brought on by mixing too much bourbon, white wine, red wine and a lovely post-prandial MacCallan 12 year old and then trying, but failing to sweat it all out after 60 minutes of working out (890 calories burned), it is just the height of unfairness for the guys laying carpet in the hallway outside of my office to be playing the Bee-Gees. At high volume.

I have no idea how I am going to get that song out of my head today.

I just hope it happens before I have to give remarks to 75 people at a dinner tonight at 6:00.

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Sorry for all the quiet. My office has been receiving a new paint job and new carpet. I have moved out and back. I have helped others move out and back. I am exhausted. Regular posting to commence again shortly.

I'm off to put on my tuxedo and have a drink.

Pax tibi.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:43 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 I'm going to insist that my husband put on a tuxedo when he has a drink from now on. I'm sure all the husbands are going to 'love' you, RP! :-)

Posted by: Jocelyn at February 21, 2006 09:32 PM (jkRb/)

2 I have no doubt you cut quite the dashing gentleman with that drink. ; )

Posted by: Christina at February 21, 2006 10:03 PM (zJsUT)

3 Thanks! We had dinner, too, actually.

Posted by: RP at February 22, 2006 10:22 AM (LlPKh)

4 In the immortal words of Pepe LePew: LE ROWR ROWR!!

Posted by: Margi at February 22, 2006 12:26 PM (nwEQH)

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I have been way too swamped to put together a decent, coherent post. So, I choose instead to punish you all with a post consisting of semi-coherent, not totally thought out reflections. Your choice to read it, of course. No one will force you.

* * *

Defer my gratification? Please. I don't do that so well. I am not a good waiter. I am not patient in lines. I don't see everything as a plot to frustrate me when I am waiting in line, I just don't like it.

The same goes the other way. Good news? A present? I cannot wait to share them. I can barely wait for the birthday to roll around to give my wife her gift. Good news is the same thing. Even if it is a secret or if discretion is the better part of valor, I burn to share my happiness. Of course, that doesn't apply if it is somebody else's secret; those I can keep without a problem.

So, care to hazard a guess about what state I am in right now after being told that something marvelous is happening? Something splendid? That the chances of the something happening have now gotten way, way more better? But that the something I am referring to won't really start to be great, if it happens at all, until the end of 2008?

Two years to wait. Two years to count down until I know for sure. Two years before . . . I'm not even close to sure how to finish that sentence.

I got two years to count before I know. A lot can happen in two years. A lot of things can change or slip or mutate. Wars take place, circumstances are altered, capital markets can collapse. The Girl Child will be almost 7 by then and the Boy Child 5. The New Baby, assuming everything goes well, will be looking forward to his/her 2nd birthday.

So, here's to change properly directed and more good news in 2008.

* * *

Cheney in a hunting accident and CNN can barely keep its panties on. Does anyone really care about this? Would it be any different if he had whacked some guy in the face with a frisbee? Or smacked someone with his squash racquet?

I spent an hour in the gym listening to CNN go on and on about all sorts of things. I can't recall hearing one single positive word about America or our government. I don't get it. Really. According to CNN we are either Satan's spawn or terribly incompetent. For goodness sake, just pick one already.

* * *

New pictures of old abuse in Iraq. Timing of release? Suspicious. Behavior of news media who mention, as if an afterthought, that the pics are from 2003 and are not current, horrid.

* * *

Danish cartoons. Islamic reactions. Over-reactions, really. Can you imagine, if you tried, a more prickly less self confident group of people than those who are so terribly wounded by a Danish newspaper?

Come on, we're talking about Danes, here. A people so placid that their Prime Minister (or maybe Foreign Minister, can't recall) said that this was the worst foreign relations crisis for Denmark since World War II. Must be nice to be Danish.

Cartoonists pick up pens and people die. Just goes to show, the most dangerous thing in the world is not a nuclear weapon, it is an idea.

* * *

Work is, once again, kicking my butt. I think a new career is in order. I've been saying that for some time, however. Next Friday, I venture down to Washington D.C. to meet with someone who, if all the stars are aligned, might actually be able to help me. Maybe I can squeeze in a drink or late lunch with my cousin on the same trip. That would be nice.

* * *

I am feeling more curmudgeonly with every passing day. At this rate, I am going to just calcify in place.

Good thing we're having another baby. That keeps you young.

Or leaves you so tired you can't remember how old you are.

* * *

They are painting my office on Monday. That means I have to pack the whole thing into boxes and move it out into another room so they can paint. Everything has to go.

Tomorrow I wear jeans to work. And throw out a lot of stuff. Time to be ruthless since the situation is forced upon me.

I look around at the accumulated shite and I shudder. Probably easier to just fire to the whole thing and dance around it like some savage.

* * *

I learned that it is not true that you have to drink a bottle of vintage Port the same day you open it. This is happy news. You can keep it for between four days and a week, depending on which of the two experts I spoke to you care to believe. I err on the low estimate. Either way, I am glad to hear this.

* * *

Back to the salt mines.

Pax tibi.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:49 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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We were adults last weekend. Childless adults. If you have kids, you know the kind I'm talking about. The kind who dress beautifully for dinner (because nobody is there to smear food on you by accident), the kind who goes to museums to spend as much time as they want there, the kind who gets up an hour before breakfast is served at their quaint b&b so that they can read Civil War history without fear of interruption or demands that other books by read to small critters, the kind who can imbibe adult beverages whenever they felt like it, the kind who could sleep without baby monitors buzzing away, the kind. . . No. Here I stop. You get the idea and if I keep this up the memories of my pre-child days, most of which I have carefully locked away, will return and drive me batty. No, instead, I will simply review our weekend.

Since it is a very long entry, the rest is below in extended entry. more...

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:20 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I have been terribly busy and thus without sufficient time to really blog. This makes me feel a little bad because, no matter how putrid the outcome, I really enjoy the writing. Hopefully, I will have more time to blog going forward.

In the meantime, I hope not to lack for material as my lovely wife has given me a subscription to the Economist. How did I survive for so long without such a subscription? Partially there has been an intimidation factor. It is a serious obligation to read the Economist every week. Mighty time consuming and I just wasn't sure I would do such an expensive (around $100 a year) subscription justice. But, with my longer train ride, it looks like I will be able to fit it in just fine. Yay!

Look for more posts soon, I hope.

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I have been a denizen of appellate briefing hell over this whole month. But it will soon pass. The brief (50+ pages so it ain't too brief) is due next Wednesday at the Appellate Division. But I have been running and running and running with this and trying to keep up with other responsibilities. So, a very short post as a kind of snapshot.

*A dinner in a wood paneled library. Black tie. Silver candlesticks with huge candles. A long table. A convivial group of some 50 people. It was mighty nice.

*A ton of work on a pre-marriage agreement for a lovely client. By a ton of work, I'm sure I have billed over $30,000 on it. Well, I believe that push has come to shove today and the client and his intended cannot come to an agreement. I am both happy (that he isn't getting stuck with this woman) and sad (that they couldn't make it work). I know it wasn't my fault. But, just the same. . .

*The English really do make beautiful shirts and I may have a problem here. Like, I may need an intervention. Hilditch and Key. At least they're on sale. My wife is gonna, well, not kill me, since she still needs me to do stuff around the house, but, she may be less happy than she has been in the past. Still, a great deal and who is it who does not love a great deal? Not I!

*I think that the combination of too much work stress and not enough sleep makes you feel like a pencil that has been sharpened too many times. Just a pathetic little nub, not good for much of anything.

*The Viking Bride and I are taking a romantic weekend away next week. Hoping to feel rejuvenated. We probably haven't done that since December 2004, I bet. And boy, that is waaaay too long between times away.

*I hope all my buddies are doing fine over on their blogs as I have lacked quality time to visit.

Pax tibi.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 05:10 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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I am a student of history. An amateur, to be sure, but a committed student with wide ranging tastes and interests. So many interests over so many periods in so many different locations that I would be hard pressed to pick just one to say, yes, thatÂ’s my favorite. But, if pressed, I confess to certain themes, certain issues, that I like to read about. Violent or revolutionary change is one theme, across cultures and in different places. Sometimes, when you read or when you observe, you are able to suddenly come up with an insight that escaped the professional historian. Maybe its because you are more widely read and have a less concentrated focus. But, either way, you have suddenly made a connection across cultures or periods and this connection allows you to evaluate or think about something in a new and different way. It is a serendipitous moment when it arrives.

IÂ’ve just had one. For years and years and years, historians and anthropologists and archeologists have wracked their brains, trying to come up with a believable or at least plausible reason why the Mayans simply abandoned their cities in Mexico and Guatemala. Why did they just walk away from these gorgeous places they built over many years?

Well, I think IÂ’ve come to know. Thanks to Connecticut Light and Power, IÂ’ve been granted a stunning insight that has totally escaped the professionals.

Here’s what happened. The Mayans lost power and they moved back home with their parents. While they waited for Quetzal Luz & Electricidad to hook ‘em back up, the pipes in the pyramids burst and, rather than clean it all up, they just stayed at their parents’ house. And thus, the great cities were abandoned. Of course, QL&E still got a huge rate increase but the cities never came back.

CanÂ’t you totally see it?

We actually didnÂ’t have a burst pipe. And we did get our power back last night, thus allowing us to move home to discover that now that we had power, we had to call the oil company because we didnÂ’t have heat. They were very nice and came over within the hour to bring our house back from the high 40's to a happier temperature.

Still, as we pulled away from my parents’ house last night, my daughter called to her grandfather: “Bye, Grandpa! See you at the next storm!”

ThatÂ’s probably going to be this weekend.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:59 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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A huge storm hit our area on Saturday, and no, I’m not talking about my wife’s reaction to my having to stay at work until 9:30 on Friday night and then spend the whole day – through dinner – at the office on Saturday. The storm took down trees and power lines. It took our house off the power grid at 1:00 on Sunday morning. The temperature, in the meantime, plummeted. When we were up on Sunday morning, the day of the Girl Child’s birthday party, it was 55 degrees in the house. In case you were wondering, no power with a forced air heating system means no heat in the house. It was around 25 degrees outside. It did not look good for our heros. Snow, ice everywhere, and a very hopeful Girl Child.

Happily, for her, the party went off without a hitch. Almost all of her guests came and she had a lovely time. We had the party out of the house at a local gymnastics place. The Girl Child was the center of attention, surrounded by her friends, all of whom seemed to like her and were happy to be with her. It was sweet to see. The kids were all run ragged and the real shocker was the Boy Child. My son is without fear and with exceptional coordination. He declined any and all help on the balance beam, walking all by himself from end to end, many times, and then happily threw himself into the pads to dismount. HeÂ’d climb on other things as high as he could and throw himself into matts. He bounced, he rolled, he insisted on doing everything the older kids were doing. The staff, unsolicited, volunteered that they had never seen anything like him. I think weÂ’re going to sign him up for gymnastics. IÂ’m not sure we have a choice. The remainder of the Carvel ice cream cake came with us.

After the party, we went back to the house. Temp? 49 and falling. Decision? Evacuation to my parents back in Westchester. Run all the taps in the house, pack the bags, set the alarm (on extensive battery backup) and hope for the best. As evacuations go, it wasnÂ’t horrible. We were taken out for a lovely dinner and the Viking Bride and I slept on the floor of my childhood room while the kids had a sleep over in my sisterÂ’s old room. Just the same, we slept terribly and the kids were up hours and hours before they should have been.

Power, according to CT L&P, was not going to be restored until midnight tonight. However, according to my alarm company (I heart these guys), power came back on at around 7:30 this morning. I immediately called the house and was thrilled to hear my wifeÂ’s voice on the answering machine, meaning that power really was back.

The kids are spending the rest of the day with my mother and my wife, who headed back up to the house, just called in to report that the power is back, the heat is back, all the water is still running, and, mirabile dictu, none of the Champagne froze and exploded!

Not exactly how my wife had hoped to start her birthday, but, there you go.

Happy birthday, my child bride!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:35 AM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 Happy Birthday Mrs. Penseur. It's nice to see that there is somebody else enduring the same two months of torture buying presents for their loved ones. My wife turned another year older on Saturday. Just think come February 14th (15th) we're free and clear for another 10 months.

Posted by: phin at January 16, 2006 11:30 AM (Xvpen)

2 Happy Birthday Mrs. Penseur! Phin, darling? Never off the hook. Never. All that excitement and you STILL wrote the best. Brief. Evar!? Go, YOU!! ) xoxo

Posted by: Margi at January 16, 2006 11:53 AM (nwEQH)

3 Carvel ice cream cake...You had to mention the Carvel ice cream cake...We used to have a Carvel store in my hometown and the ice cream was awesome. Wonder if they deliver?

Posted by: Howard at January 16, 2006 12:03 PM (u2JaN)

4 Sounds like he's going to want Xtreme gymnastics. Hehe. Happy Birthday, VB!

Posted by: Jim at January 16, 2006 01:19 PM (tyQ8y)

5 Dear VB: Happiness today and ALL days. Glad to hear all is calm now.

Posted by: Wicked H at January 16, 2006 02:00 PM (iqFar)

6 A Carvel's opened near here about a year ago. Good stuff. Still, I like Blue Bell and Braum's (Texas local favorites) best. Happy Birthdays (to GC and the Mrs.) P.S. Another reason I like reading your blog - you use phrases like "mirabile dictu" without sounding pretentious. That's quite a trick.

Posted by: JohnL at January 16, 2006 10:23 PM (dYzx6)

7 Luckily we didn't lose power since we normaly keep the house at 55 degrees during winter. (85 in summer, mheh.)

Posted by: Tuning Spork at January 17, 2006 12:29 AM (i1jt5)

8 Happy Birthday Mrs. Penseur.

Posted by: Mia at January 17, 2006 01:27 AM (8No2c)

9 Happy Birthday Ms. RP!

Posted by: oddybobo at January 17, 2006 11:09 AM (6Gm0j)

10 Gee, RP, I missed that it was the missus' birthday too! Happy Birthday, Mrs. RP!

Posted by: Mark at January 17, 2006 12:59 PM (IPp2K)

11 Happy Belated Birthday, Mrs. RP! Sounds like it was quite the start! Amazing what happens to people when you don't visit their blog for awhile. I feel like I missed out on being helpful or something! :-\ Stay safe and warm, all of you!

Posted by: Amber at January 18, 2006 06:00 PM (zQE5D)

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I gather that here on MuNu, it is de-lurking week. This means that if you come by and visit but don't generally leave comments, this is the week to leave a comment, to step out of the shadows, to just say hello or to slag me off because you think the site is shite. Seriously, if only to satisfy my own curiousity, should you choose to de-lurk, would you mind telling me how you came to this blog? Thanks!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:28 AM | Comments (15) | Add Comment
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1 I don't know if I'm a lurker or not, but howdy! I suspect I started reading in response to a comment you made in the distant past on TexasBestGrok.

Posted by: owlish at January 11, 2006 09:59 AM (GDqxH)

2 I can't remember, RP. My brain core dumps after 6 months!

Posted by: Elizabeth at January 11, 2006 10:24 AM (uqPyj)

3 I turned from a habitual comment leaver into a lurker. I suspect that this is, in part, because I have let my own blog lapse. That, and I feel that I can always do just one more thing here or there, and end up with no time to even send an email to my family. In any case, I have been following your posts. I'm still around, just not as visible, I guess; many of your posts have been hard for me to respond to, hitting very close to home. As always, thinking thoughts of joy, sympathy, compassion and delight among a myriad of other things your way...

Posted by: Mandalei at January 11, 2006 10:26 AM (LcyhB)

4 I can't remember either. But de-lurking is apparently all the rage in the entire blogosphere this week, so. Hey. :-)

Posted by: Jennifer at January 11, 2006 11:24 AM (jl9h0)

5 I don't lurk much, but I'll comment anyway. I believe I found your blog when you were new on mu.nu. I haven't actually scouted out the new mu.nus in a long, long time. In fact, I just decreased my faves list because I didn't visit some of them regularly anymore. Yeah, I know, I suck.

Posted by: Linda at January 11, 2006 02:49 PM (4gch1)

6 Hi, I am a lurker and found you by accident. I started reading about the time of your g-fathers funeral and it reminded me of my grandparents. We are jewish as well. I just kept reading and I enjoy your blog immensely. Thank You

Posted by: Tara at January 11, 2006 05:08 PM (0q/K4)

7 I'm not a lurker; I'm just in here making trouble. Yes, again! ;-P

Posted by: Amber at January 11, 2006 05:28 PM (zQE5D)

8 How did I get here? By clicking on my 'daily reads', got to have have a portion of RP on a regular basis!! : )

Posted by: Mia at January 11, 2006 06:12 PM (o+8DV)

9 I found you through Mia actually. =D

Posted by: Primal at January 11, 2006 06:57 PM (wkHsG)

10 I came here for the nudie pictures. I stayed for the articles.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at January 11, 2006 10:16 PM (WCxcm)

11 I didn't realize it was delurk week, and this is my first visit here. I came here via your comments at Jennifer's.

Posted by: terrilynn at January 12, 2006 09:58 AM (V8P0X)

12 The first blog I read was written by a teenage neighbor and detailed an experience of vomiting on her boyfriend during oral sex. I did not feel that this knowledge in any way enriched my life. I grew up in the age of dairies and/or strict anonymity and am trying to make an adjustment. I recently published a novel and have been advised that blogging for a writer who wants to sell books is absolutely necessary. Hence, I became a lurker and fortunate my sister ( a Francophile compelled to click on the name) was already into RP, the most refreshing and delightful of bloggers. For me, the wonderful stories of Girl Child and Boy Child bring back memories of a time in my own life long passed. You bring pleasure to my days. Happy Birthday to Girl Child and thank you.

Posted by: Naomi Gerbarg at January 12, 2006 12:59 PM (iKVpv)

13 De-lurkification. I've been lurking a lot. Too much. And now I feel guilty. Oh- I think I wandered in from SnoozeButtonDreams a long time ago.

Posted by: Rob at January 13, 2006 02:22 PM (nQDtN)

14 Hi RP, I've left you a few comments before, but mostly I lurk. My good friend Angineer recommended your blog to me last year and I've been a loyal reader ever since. I'm not sure how she found you though.

Posted by: turtleherder at January 15, 2006 01:45 PM (Q1r/D)

15 I'm here from time to time... I just don't often comment!

Posted by: Hannah at January 28, 2006 05:31 PM (O6LLZ)

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In helping to clean out my grandfatherÂ’s things, I took for myself a large number of old photographs, many of them of me when I was a child.

I gaze upon this child, with his hazel eyes holding an intense gaze and his skin kissed gold by the sun, and I donÂ’t recognize him at all. I feel no kinship, no sense of immediacy, no relationship at all. It is as if I have never met the boy. I recognize the bookcase he is posed in front of, remember the color it was painted, even some of the books. I actually recall the t-shirt, it was a favorite. But of the boy, of the person, nothing. It is as if I have no connection to the past. When did that happen, I wonder?

I know I was not created fully formed, as if sprung up from the earth, a man with hair going gray at the temples and wearing a suit and a tie, a man with a mortgage and responsibilities, with children and a job. IÂ’m not sure what happened to the child, the boy. My memories of him are evanescent.

Alienated from the past, is it any wonder that sometimes one feels adrift in the present? And thus, unsure, uncertain, unable to visualize the future?

Or is it all just a crock of shit?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:35 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Amy is back on the web! YAY!

Links joyfully updated! All systems go!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:57 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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There are certain forms, certain of what used to be commonly accepted ways to initiate interaction and social discourse. These are, probably, thought of as old fashioned by some and as taboos to be transgressed by iconoclasts and other self-consciously hip trend setters, both young (who ought to be rebelling against something) and old (who really ought to know better, but so be it). But they are neither. These forms, this kind of politeness, is neither old fashioned nor unnecessary. They include words like: please; thank you; excuse me; pardon me; may I trouble you; or, do you mind. These words provide a sort of social lubrication so that the parts in the great social machine (meaning, you and me) do not rub up against each other and snag or create friction which leads to heat. They allow our wheels to move more smoothly when we have to mesh together, even if only for a brief moment. I insist on them, both for myself and my children. My wife and I, if you can believe it, actually say please and thank you to each other, both as a matter of habit and course and because our kids might as well see manners in action -- do as I say and as I do.

So, background over.

This morning, as I awaited the 7:34 train to come and whisk me away to the bib bad city and to my desk where multiple tasks were provided by my kind and munificent employers to both delight and entertain me, I gazed out over the quiet, and mostly empty, parking lot. It was peaceful and I was sort of pleasantly lost in thought as my mind kind of drifted this way and that, sort of just bobbing along with the flow of my relaxed little stream of consciousness. The snow was falling, rapidly but not heavily, kind of drifting down etherally and lightly but quickly. It was kind of nice.

Then, an interruption.

"Do you know when the train comes", I was asked.

No, excuse me or pardon me or sorry for interrupting but . . . I dislike that quite a bit, as if you didn't know by now. If it were me asking, I would make some sort of prefatory apology first because I certainly don't think that just because you are standing there, just because you exist, you owe me any information or indeed any form of social discourse at all beyond the social implied contract that you will leave me alone and not trouble me and, hopefully, not impinge on the quiet exercise of my own liberties. That's certainly what you can expect, I believe. So, I acknowledge that and then ask for assistance or information or whatever.

Now, having examined what was missing from her question, let's look at what was there and reflect, if you are still reading, on why it was a bad question on at least a couple of levels.

First, I could have simply answered it, yes. Yes, I know when the next train is coming. Although, actually, even though the question is structured to permit such an answer, I would have to have a claim to some kind of omniscience that I do not really possess to know when the train is coming. So, I suppose I could have simply answered it, no, I do not know when the train is coming.

How could I know when the train is coming? I cannot see it, I have no GPS relationship with it. No, the most I could know is when the train is supposed to arrive at my station, when it is scheduled to arrive. That I could know and that I could tell her.

But you see, all she asked is whether I knew, not for the information I actually had to convey, although I believe she really meant to know the information and was not really inquiring whether I was generally informed and possessed of the information. Although, I suppose she could have been. Maybe she was seized of a compulsion to generally inquire of her fellow citizens to gauge their level of information concerning train arrivals and departures. Perhaps an over or under medication issue and not simply the evidence of a sloppy thinking process.

All that said, I doubt she walked away from our encounter thinking much more of me than I of her. I answered her thusly:

"Do I know when the train is coming? No. However, it is scheduled to arrive here at 7:34."

She walked away, her braided pig tails, so incongruous in a woman over ten, bobbing in her wake, seemingly so content with the information I provided that she, in the bliss of her contentment, neglected to thank me.

And so the wheels of social interaction grind together and stop. A little lubrication probably would have helped. I think you know what I mean. And since you do, let me not neglect to thank you for actually reading to the end of this rant.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:19 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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