Go send Jim some love and any helpful suggestions you can. He is really one of the good ones, you know?

Anybody know anyone in Atlanta who's looking for a real smart tech guy?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:12 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I received the following email this morning and just had to reproduce it, all but the link, of course:

Dear Sir/Madam;

From our records we understand that you are inquiring about a new profession.
We have a limited, ont time offer.
Our university can offer you a pre-qualified degree in your field of choice.
We offer signing bonuses of up to $15,000 in your profession.

To obtain your degree with valid transcripts & information on new career bonusus, follow our link:

I have left all the spelling mistakes in. Fascinating, no?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:06 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I promised a report from the Fair we went to on Friday and here it is, something between a full report and list of connected observations. In drafting this, I feel as if I am channeling Les Nessman, reporter extradonaire from WKRP. Remember Les? Coincidentally, eerily so, Richard Sanders, the actor who played him, just had his birthday on August 28.

So, first of all, the fairgrounds were huge. Acres and acres of barns and permanent structures. I take my hat off to the organizers for a tautly run show. The bathrooms were clean at all times. Can you believe that? At all times.

The fair was at heart an agricultural endeavor and was country at its best. Kids with "4H" shirts all over the place. Huge displays of new and used farm equipment and tack and agricultural materials. Ribbons all over the place. Tents devoted to the health department and the state agricultural department.

We saw cows. A lot of cows. Really big cows, impeccably groomed. We were all duly impressed. There were prize winning flower arrangements. We saw lots of horses.

There were carnival games. The Girl Child actually won two prizes by throwing 2 darts and popping balloons. I was seriously impressed. I had no idea that she was coordinated enough to do this and to win.

The Girl Child also conned me into going with her on the ride that causes you to go up and down and to spin around. I held on to her so tight. My vertigo is actually returning as I type this. I did not disgrace myself by vomiting. She did nothing but laugh with great delight through the whole ride. Well, she did reassure me a couple of times by telling me it was ok because she was holding on to me.

We missed the Oak Ridge Boys and (sorry, Amber) the husband calling contest.

The girls rode on an elephant by the name of Beulah. She was 35 years old.

We were all in agreement that the piglets were very cute.

We watched dog obedience and obstacle course runs, cheering loudly for all the dogs.

We over paid for lunch.

We bought fresh roasted peanuts from a booth with a huge peanut roaster and they were among the best peanuts I've ever tasted, even when they cooled off. The Boy Child also loved them.

What else to report? It was pretty darn hot and I congratulate myself on the foresight to have sunscreen applied to the little ones before we got there.

I saw no, not one single, Vote for Bush or Vote for Kerry shirt or sticker. That was nice.

Everyone was friendly and happy and looking for a good time. Even the State Police seemed relaxed. And they had one of the Cameros out on display. I imagine that they are pretty fast.

We closed the day with a purchase of maple sugar cotton candy. I abstained, but the Girl Child was enraptured.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:13 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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The Games have ended in an orgy of odd dance returns and aged Greek entertainers. Did anyone else think that those fellows all dressed in black and shaking their money makers during a "war dance" performed while women harvested the wheat did not have the body form traditionally associated with dance? But I digress.

The Games are touted as a success all over the media. Were they? I have two small observations.

First, estimates now put the cost at $10 billion. How is this a success where, according to the World Bank (pdf file) average yearly income is a scant $11,660 a year? How are they going to pay for this? What is going to happen to the tax system? While people are crying about the security costs, by the way, please note that these costs were estimated to be about $1.2 billion, or not much more than 10% of the actual costs.

Second, what did the Greeks get for the money? They did not get attendance at the Games, particularly. Ticket sales were generally accepted to be poor and if you watched the Games, you saw that the stands were regularly empty or sparsely filled.

So, how was it a success? It cost a lot to put the show on and no one came.

I am not persuaded.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:55 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Hi, y'all, I'm hanging the Gone Fishin' sign on the door today. Yup, I'm taking the family, loading them into the car, and heading upstate to the:

According to the Dutchess County Fair web site:

Over a half a million visitors are expected at the 2004 Fair held August 24 through August 29. The Fair is the second largest agricultural event in New York State and has become the fabric of family life and tradition. Thousands of family members have grown up coming to the classic, old fashioned Fair year after year, experiencing something new on each visit.

The stars of the Dutchess County Fair are the farm animals. Over 1600 goats, sheep, hogs, cows, horses, chickens, cattle and rabbits will be judged for excellence at the six day event. In addition, vegetables, fruits, home crafts, baked goods, antiques, grain, flowers and more are entered in events celebrating Dutchess CountyÂ’s farming traditions and values.

Over three hundred commercial exhibitors will display and sell a wide variety of products. Demonstrations such as spinning, weaving and dyeing will be featured. There will be contests such as horse shoeing and forging, husband calling and hay bale throwing, to name a few.

I'll report back on the success of the petting zoo with the children and on whether my wife feels compelled to enter the "husband calling contest".

Have a great day!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 06:05 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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Someone asked, in the comments section, about the Ghurkas of Nepal and I thought his inquiry merited a fuller response than a quick reply to comment so I decided to do a post. I know a bit about them. I have been fascinated by them since I was a child and intrigued by that whole region ever since I read, Kim, by Kipling.

Let's start with some background on Nepal. There is a really great US Government report on Nepal which probably will tell you more than you ever wanted to know about the place, although it is a little old. You can find it here. In case you don't feel like reading it, let me extract from it here, down in the extended section, in case you are not curious about the Mountain Kingdom:

more...

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:03 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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According to Google, someone came calling at my blog because they searched for: "Things to do in bed with a girl".

If you need the help of the internet to fill in that blank, you have no imagination.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:07 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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We own, outright, a Volvo station wagon. We bought it in the days following 9/11 when my wife's job was transferred to New Jersey and we needed a car in the City. Since then, we have moved out to Westchester and have been leading the you-gotta-have-a-car suburban life style. The Volvo has not been a fulfilling experience. Many electrical problems -- locks, windows, etc. Many other small problems. All of this means that I have lost confidence in our ability to drive this car another 75-100,000 miles as I had hoped we would do when we bought it. I bought the car with the intention that we would drive it into the ground. It appears as if I was wrong. Did I mention that it is very expensive to fix, too?

Well, the warranty on the beast is about to run out and I have been considering the cost of the extended warranties that Volvo will offer to me. They are several thousand dollars and they have deductibles, like an insurance policy does. They do not appear to replicate the original warranty on the car.

So, here's where the economics part of the post comes in. What to do? Buy the warranty or, and this is where things get more interesting, admit that the Volvo was as bad an investment as that JDS Uniphase stock and see if I can cash out the equity that remains in the car and buy another car for about or not much more than the cost of the extended warranty. Clearly, we'd be talking about a used car. That led to some investigation by my wife. She selected a couple of cars from Consumer Reports and compared them for safety and reliability. After Saturday afternoon driving four different SUV type cars (a moment of silence for the BMW X5, please, which was so great and so not a possibility), we have arrived at an Acura MDX. More precisely, the 2001 version, with around 29,000 miles. We will, I think, be able to swap out the Volvo for the Acura for a minimal amount above what the extended warranty costs for the Volvo.

The Acura will come out of their certified pre-owned program, is on the list of used cars recommended by Consumer Reports, has been serviced exclusively by the dealership selling me the car, and has a reputation for being a reliable car that can go the distance. Oh, and to extend the warranty (no deductible) on the Acura would be about 30% of the cost of doing so on the Volvo and I think that has to tell you something about the confidence that Acura has in its workmanship

Does anyone have any experience with Acura, generally, that they'd care to share? Anyone think that this transaction makes no sense and I have screwed up a major assumption? Did I get the economics right?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:00 AM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Do not collect $100. Instead, go immediately to Helen's blog, Everyday Stranger (one of my daily must reads), and read her post about passion and her refusal to be "life's bitch" .

Words to live by. Hard to do maybe, but something we all ought to aspire to.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:44 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 $100? When did I get a 50% pay cut? Drat.

Posted by: Jim at August 18, 2004 09:48 AM (IOwam)

2 When we got married.

Posted by: RP at August 18, 2004 10:14 AM (LlPKh)

3 I checked that post out. It's brilliant! Thanks for the link!

Posted by: Mick at August 18, 2004 03:31 PM (VhRca)

4 Thanks, babe Now go dote on your Mrs

Posted by: Helen at August 18, 2004 04:19 PM (mjc0R)

5 Will do, Helen!

Posted by: RP at August 18, 2004 05:13 PM (LlPKh)

6 Thanks for the link. What a wonderful virtual visit to Venice I had while reading Helen's post!

Posted by: Azalea at August 18, 2004 06:47 PM (hRxUm)

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Did anyone happen to catch the portion of the Olympics television coverage last night when they did the story about the ancient Olympics site where the shot put and some other events will be held? It was actually not bad. And then, Bob Costas (is that his name?) got to speak and he showed that the English language is probably close to being on its last legs. This is what he said as the other correspondent signed off:

Props to you Dan for a fine report.

My wife looked at each other in stunned disbelief. Did we just hear him say, "props"? In the land which gave us the word, "kudos"? He said it so matter of factly, in that faux-gravitas newscaster's voice, the one that makes everything sound so important and so significant. There was no hint of mockery or self-doubt. No sense that he was being forced to use this term by an ever increasingly youth conscious marketing department trying to reel in the younger viewers. Nope. He used it like it was a perfectly acceptable synonym for the eminently serviceable word, "congratulations". I admit that hoary old thing as 5 syllables to the 1 in "props", but still. Not a reasonable excuse.

Normally, I don't look to sportscasters for examples of good English. In fact, the opposite is true. My favorite sportscaster malaprop was in the Fall of 1985 when, while watching the pre-game to some college football game, the announcer said:

It's very unusual to have these two teams meet so early in the season. This game could have national championship implifications

That one is so good that I have to think sometimes, almost 20 years later, before I use the word implication because implication doesn't sound as important as implification.

But I digress.

The reason Mr. Costas has me so heated up is that there is no good reason to reject many of the excellent words English has put at our disposal to signify congratulations or approval in order to replace them with the darling of the rapper set: "props". In my head, a prop is something you find on a set. Kind of like Mr. Costas, come to think of it.

We may not speak the King's English anymore, but we ought to draw the line somewhere. The way you speak in this country, while not as serious a matter as it is in England, will still serve to either limit or expand your opportunities. Many first generation immigrants will tell you that they learned to speak English here from the television. Teaching them that "props" is an acceptable way to convey congratulations is a dis-service to these people and to anyone else who might be led to think it's now appropriate to walk into the CEO's office and say, "Ms. Smith, props to you on that fine presentation you gave to the analyst community on our new cost accounting recognition system." Can you see that happening?

There are standards and we have them for a reason. Even if mine is the lone voice in the wilderness crying out for rigor and adherence to these standards, so be it. I know my wife will keep me company, at least, and English isn't even among her first two or three languages.

Here endeth the rant. Please resume your normal activities. I think sometimes that if it weren't for this blog, I'd be that guy in the corner. You know the one, the guy muttering to himself who makes you think, did he take his meds?

AN UPDATE

I just read the following article about the value of memorization in teaching children proper English and I extract the following paragraph for your consideration (in which the author does a much better job than I have done in expressing why the dumbing down of our language is such a problem with real consequences for those cheated out of an education):

All these benefits are especially important for inner-city kids. Bill Cosby recently pointed to the tragedy of the black kids he sees “standing on the corner” who “can’t speak English.” “I can’t even talk the way these people talk,” Cosby said: “ ‘Why you ain’t. Where you is.’ ” To kids who have never known anything but demotic English, literary English is bound to seem an alien, all but incomprehensible dialect. Kids who haven’t been exposed to the King’s English in primary school or at home will have a hard time, if they get to college, with works like Pride and Prejudice and Moby Dick. In too many cases, they will give up entirely, unable to enter the community of literate citizens—and as a result will live in a world of constricted opportunity.

It's like I posited above, if you think props is a real word, you constrict your opportunities.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:25 AM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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Jim, over at Snooze Button Dreams, was profiled in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

I think it has to make a nice change from the time he was profiled at the airport and they touched him in all of those inappropriate places.

Yay, Jim!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 12:05 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I have to go to the dentist this morning, and if that wasn't reason enough to be sad, I read the following things.

The first is from Little Green Footballs where Mr. Johnson shares an article about, in part, the opening ceremonies at the Olympics:

When the Palestinian delegation marched into the Olympic Stadium at the opening ceremonies last week, they were warmly welcomed. When the Iraqis came in, they got a standing ovation and the loudest cheers of the night. Even the Americans were greeted with polite, if unenthusiastic, applause.

But the small Israeli team — 36 athletes competing in 14 sports — was met with quiet so complete it was shocking.

The atheletes must have felt so isolated and so hated. How horrible. How un-Olympian in spirit.

The second thing I read was from Elizabeth at Ravings of a Corporate Mommy. Elizabeth writes, so movingly, of her defender, Paul, when she was a young girl and was teased so cruely by the other children. Go read it, but I warn you, it will make you sad because Elizabeth is a gifted writer who can really make you feel the pain of this little girl. But it's worth it.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 07:30 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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If you are looking for me today, you will find me at my desk, busy at constructively ignoring what I cannot change today. I begin my appointed task very tired because the boy child gave us an unusually bad night (my poor wife is a wreck) so I am forced to ignore the fact that:

* I forgot to brush my teeth this morning (spare toothbrush at office, whew)

* I almost forgot to shave but I forced myself to remember deodorant

* I left the house without my glasses (but found old spare pair in desk! Yay!)

* I left house without an umbrella but returned to retrieve one (it was raining and that helped remind me) and,

* I ran the rusty tip of the umbrella along the side of my formerly clean pants, unintentionally, but leaving a streak of rust along the left outside knee.

It is only 8:50. I believe that I will face, with fortitude, the rest of the day's little surprises. And if not, I will, nobly and with great dignity, close my office door and weep quietly.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:52 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Thanks a lot to Linda who deemed my emails to her worthy of a post about the joys of fatherhood.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:15 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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The Next Generation Machine Gun fires grenades (click link to bring up image).

Thanks to John at TexasBestGrok for directing me to Ace's post on this topic.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:56 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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I was just called and asked to assume the office of Interview Chair for the Alumni Admissions Counsel, NYC Chapter, of my University alma mater. They assured me I was their first choice. What's a girl to do? Of course, I said yes.

..Groan.. ..Buries face in hands..

Need. More. Coffee.

To borrow a little from Jim, can anyone tell me where the title comes from, without searching?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:27 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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There is no other way to think about it, it just sucked. I will be happy to give this week the back of my hand and see it no more. Let me review.

Monday

Actually, Monday was fine, I think. I'm having trouble remembering back that far but I think it was fine.

Tuesday

Here officially commenceth the suckitude.

Leave work early to try to take ailing family (my parents') pet to the vet while my mother is in the hospital and my father is away on a business trip he could not get out of. Arrive to find beloved dog dead. See below for post on this. Handled disposal arrangements and broke news to parents. That was fun.

Come home to find Boy Child is running 104 degree fever. Call doctor emergency service.

Wednesday

Don't go to work. Take my mother home from the hospital. Spend hours at hospital dealing with release, getting her settled at home, doing grocery shopping for her, etc., etc. Find out her oldest friend has died that day. I knew that woman for most of my life. Very sad.

Boy Child still has fever but seems to be getting better.

Thursday

Children do not sleep through the night before. Wake as exhausted as went to sleep. Drag self to office.

9:40, receive phone call from Girl Child's camp that nanny was acting irrationally and incoherently. Nanny told camp people that she lost GC, five minutes after dropping GC off with group. Turned whole building upside down before it became clear to camp people that nanny thought it was 12:00 and not 9:00. They called me to express deep concern. Holy shit. Jump on 10:10 train home.

Long discussion with nanny who has convinced us, barely, that she is not losing her apparently tenuous grip on reality, promises us that she will be home earlier at night and sleep more, and that this was just an isolated, strange event. We remain skeptical but hopeful.

Wife and I pick GC up from camp ourselves and take her out to lunch after I spend 45 minutes interviewing 4 different camp people to find out exactly what transpired from their perspective.

BC spikes fever again. Rush to doctor to be told it's a virus and let him ride it out. Whew.

Am asleep before GC.

Friday

GC awakes at approximately 1:00 a.m. complaining of pain in her teeth. Wife attends to her for 45 minutes. Wife tags out, I tag in at 1:49 a.m. I attend to GC until 3:00 a.m. when, after giving her some children's Tylenol, she goes to sleep.

Alarm goes off at 5:30, I go back to sleep. Wife's alarm goes off at 5:45. I stumble out of bed. GC is out of bed by 7, still complaining of pain.

Call dentist's service at 7:30, leave message, go to work, where I remain at present, ambivalent about our plans to go out for dinner tonight during what is forecast to be a monsoon.

I have a headache.

Goodbye week and good riddance! Other than breakfast with the GC on Wednesday morning, I'm happy to shut the books on this one.

I really need some sleep.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:06 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Today, barring any unforeseen problems, is the day my mother will be released from hospital and I, being the dutiful son, will go to fetch her home as my father does not return from his business trip until tonight.

But I don't have to go get her until the late morning, so I am not going to the office today and instead am going to take the opportunity to enjoy my daughter. I am going to take her out for breakfast -- pancakes and chocolate milk for her -- and then take her to her day camp. I am so excited. I told her about it last night and she woke up early this morning and came running into my room at 6:55 and said, "are you staying home today?" And for once, on a weekday, I was able to say that I was.

She climbed up into my lap and installed herself with her head on my collar bone and her hands tucked into her stomach to keep herself warm and just lay there silently while I traced her shoulder blade with my thumb. I closed my eyes and just existed for a moment. It was a moment of beautiful stillness with an otherwise perpetual motion machine. She then lifted her head and asked me if we were still going out for breakfast and I told her we were and she hummed happily and put her head back down again, visions of pancakes dancing in her head, no doubt.

I think today is going to be a better day.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 07:11 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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That's all it costs, I found out today. That's what they charge you to take your friend away. I said that I was going to get my mother from the hospital but there was another problem today as well. And in fact, I will not be able to take my mother home from the hospital until tomorrow. But that's ok, I had other things to do today. See, when I left the office today, I was also going to deal with a medical emergency at my parents' house -- the dog was sick, too.

Well, the dog was more than sick. By the time I got there, she was dead. I find myself curiously reluctant to use the word dead. When I called the vet I told him that the dog had expired and later, when I called someone else, I used the expression, given up the ghost. I kept hesitating over the word, dead, like a mental stutter. But that's what she is all right. There was no question when I walked in that she was gone, that she had departed her body. She was lying on the floor and so terribly and utterly and unchangeably still.

I called the animal hospital and they gave me the name of the pet cemetery to call them to arrange a pick up. I was not going to try to take this dog to my car and drive her there all by myself, she weighed over 80 pounds in life and frankly I was just too sad to do it.

They came to take her and dispose of her for $209.28, including tax. I keep coming back to that number. I guess it provides a prism through which I can focus on the act of dying itself, on the sudden lack of the dog in our lives. I don't think it will make a good point to tell the girl child, but she has to be told something and I am leaning towards honesty here, to tell her that her friend is dead, too. She loved this dog and could say her name before she could say my father's name. Any suggestions about what to tell her?

I loved this dog. My parents got her from a rescue group. She had been abused but she found love in their house. And she died with someone who loved her sitting next to her and stroking her. Really, that doesn't sound too bad, does it? I think that this is what we all might want at the end if we are given the choice. This woman who was with her told me that the dog knew that she was dying and she kept looking out at the driveway because she was waiting for my parents to come home to be with her. But then she couldn't wait any longer and she sighed and went still.

$209.28 seems like not very much money to measure the worth to you of your friend when they're gone.

When the man arrived from the service, he put the dog into two plastic bags. Rigor had set in very quickly. I had to leave the room when it came time to put her head in the bag. I am finding it hard to write about it now, in fact. She was too heavy for one person to take. I helped carry her out to the truck and I lifted her very gently and the nice man was gentle, too. And then she was gone. A sweet and gentle animal, most of the time.

$209.28 is not much when your heart breaks a little as the plastic bag is closed and the door to the truck thunks shut and your friend is gone. It's amazing what a credit card will buy.

I'm going to go play with my children now. Writing about this did not, in fact, make me feel any better, as I had hoped it would. Instead, I feel the pressure of unshed tears.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 06:11 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Just a quick note, because I did receive some very kind wishes on behalf of my mother, but it looks like my mother is going to be released from the hospital today. That means I will have to leave work early today to go and fetch her home as my father is away from yesterday through tomorrow. So, I will most likely be out early.

She is pretty happy about it, not least of which because she is tired of listening to the woman across the hall, who is confused and old, continually moaning: "Jesus, help me, help me, Jesus, I need to go to the bathroom". That gets old fast. Especially since the nurses keep telling her that they can't take her to the bathroom since she can't walk, even with help. We're all going to get old one day, one hopes, but it ain't pretty. I try not to think about it, but I will for sure continue to hear this woman's raspy voice as she calls out to Jesus to help her for a long time. The only nice thing, is that the woman has fairly devoted children who come to see her all the time, according to my mother. It's nice that she's not forgotten.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:07 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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