When is the last time you sat down and wrote out a hand written thank you note? I bet, ever since you got that first hotmail account, that it's been awhile, hasn't it? I wrote one this week and received one this week and the experience was so unusual that it sort of stayed with me.

I had been invited to a thank you dinner by an acquaintance and I accepted and attended. This was last week. It was great fun. A stag night, as it turned out, full of bourbon, steak, and some very good dirty jokes and true (or so they claimed) stories. The details remain blurry and even if not I will intentionally obfuscate them here to protect the identities of the participants. Still, no arrests, no convictions, nothing broken. Our host also had a little gift for us -- a Waterman rollerball pen, very attractive. Totally unnecessary, of course, but very sweet of him anyway.

So, I dug out my old box of nice stationary we got from Crane's, a long time ago when we still lived in the City and having stationary with our initials on it seemed really important. It no longer seems so important now that we live in the suburbs with two children, but that may be a topic for another day. I uncapped this nice new pen and I luxuriated in the tactile sensation of pen moving over fine paper, paper with a high linen content. I wrote a nice little note and I mailed it off. I dusted my hands off and put fingers back to keyboard and wrote a little something to someone else. It wasn't the same at all.

The other thing I like about writing a real thank you note is that it takes a little time to be delivered. Email is practically immediate. You hit send and your little note gets there the same day, almost within the same 60 second period. If you write it the next day after the event or thing which eventuated the note in the first place, it just comes right away and that's that. Ah, but if you send it by mail, it might take a little bit longer. And it's usually a surprise when you receive it. And because it's been at least a day or two after the event, it has the effect of extending the nice feelings on the part of the recipient. He or she gets to open it, read your pleasant words, and re-live, a tiny bit, the glow that you felt when you wrote it. That's nice.

Even receiving the note is a tactile experience. It comes in a heavy envelope with a lining so when you pick it up it has substance and heft. It's been hand addressed, so you look at the handwriting for a moment as you try to puzzle out who wrote it. The paper used on the envelope feels rich and not at all mass produced, even if it is. You open it and it takes a little more effort because the glue used is superior or because it is harder to use the letter opener to cut through the unexpectedly thicker paper.

A handwritten thank you note is an event. Really, there ought to be a soundtrack.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:26 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I just sent my wife the following email:

Hey, I just realized that you married me for my body.

Her reply:

Of water?

Like I said, it's getting mighty cold in here.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:42 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I don't know many people who like going to hospitals, either for themselves or to visit others. I do not, certainly. I have had the leisure to reaquaint myself with my dislike of hospitals this weekend as I have spent the better part of each weekend day visiting my mother, who has been hospitalized with a serious infection in the bone of her foot. Bone infections are very bad. I think, and more importantly her doctors seem to think, that she is going to be just fine and that no surgery will be required to remove any of the bone. This is a relief.

The thing about hospitals is that they are a self-contained 24 hour a day universe, with rules and social conventions unto themselves. I think that the 24 hour thing, plus the odd casino type lighting used, is one reason why you leave a visit to a hospital totally exhausted. I just spent a couple of hours each day this weekend and I am kind of thrashed. Still, easier for me than it is for my mother.

It was funny, while I had to wait in the hallway for a few minutes, to watch one of the new interns flirt with a pretty young nurse. One of my cousins just finished his residency and he told me a lot of stories concerning the sexual hijinks everyone got up to at his hospital. I gather that is common.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:38 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I was sitting here listening to the live broadcast from WWOZ New Orleans (Jazz and Blues) when I heard the following song about, well, alternatives to pharmaceutical intervention for a man who finds himself with performance issues, and in the spirit of public mindedness, I thought I'd share the advice contained within the song title:

"If I can't cut the mustard, well, I can still lick around the jar."

Bill Coday

Hope this helps someone out there.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:34 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 good advice.

Posted by: kbear at August 05, 2004 11:50 PM (IAJcf)

2 I'll be printing those up on posters and distributing them on all telephone poles. Important lesson for all men to learn, here...

Posted by: Helen at August 06, 2004 04:18 AM (StHmy)

3 I feel as if I have done a great public good in putting it here, but, posters? That is the next step, I suppose. If we get enough people involved, we'll have this problem licked, so to speak.

Posted by: RP at August 06, 2004 08:13 AM (LlPKh)

4 Okay, sometimes I'm a little slow. When I saw this yesterday I'd assumed "performance issues" referred to musical performance, and I had no idea what that quote meant. I guess I was just wrong-headed about it *ahem*.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 06, 2004 12:53 PM (X89ZI)

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I was reading this morning an article from the New Yorker online about the bombings in Madrid and found the following observation very interesting. It just sort of jumped off the page at me:

The case broke open in the middle of the night, when a young police officer, sorting through belongings recovered from the trains, opened a sports bag and discovered twenty-two pounds of Goma-2, surrounded by nails and screws. Two wires ran from a blue mobile phone to a detonator. It wasnÂ’t clear why the bomb had failed to explode.

Police officers realized that a chip inside the phone would contain a record of recently dialled numbers. By tracing these calls, they were quickly able to map out a network of young Arab immigrants, many of whom were known to Spanish intelligence. Data stored on the chip revealed that a calling plan had been set up at a small telephone and copy shop in Lavapiés, a working-class neighborhood near the Atocha station. The store was owned by Jamal Zougam, a Moroccan who had previously been under surveillance because of alleged connections to Al Qaeda. He was soon arrested.

I recommend going to read the whole article. It deals extensively with the political developments and consequences that the Jihadi movement expected would eventuate from a bombing in Madrid near the election. We have to ask ourselves what will happen here closer to November. Of course, I suppose that even if there is a bombing here, nothing would change for the US in terms of policy. There is no choice here between socialists and right wingers as there was in Spain.

The article is chilling.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:08 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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A comment left by Ensie got me to thinking about Costco. Ensie, in commenting on my first post about Costco, said:

Actually, the Costco "Executive Membership" involves a cash back feature. I just signed up for my first Costco membership last week and had to tell three Costco employees, "NO, I DO NOT WANT TO UPGRADE. PLEASE STOP ASKING ME!" You're absolutely right that you won't save any money, unless you're spending millions at Costco each year. Which is pretty unlikely.

This got me to thinking about the actual impact of membership fees on Costco's revenue stream, so I followed the link I posted before back to their annual report for fiscal year 2002, and I poked around a bit. Annual reports can be fascinating reading and this one was no different.

First of all, membership has been growing for Costco at something like 2 million members a year at the most basic level. Sales increased 11%, to $38 billion, and earnings increased 16%, to $700 million, during FY2002. Those are some pretty big numbers and it is clear that membership statistics are an important component of earnings for Costco because they break out the membership fees as a separate item on their revenue breakdowns.

Executive members make up 1.75 million of their membership base. These people pay $100 for access to all sorts of useless stuff. Do the math, that's $175 million in fees alone each year for access to the right to spend more money on services. That is a hefty portion of the net earnings of 700 million right there (I have no way to subtract out the costs they attribute to executive level membership so I attribute none and that's probably artificial and wrong). There is a cash back feature of 2% of your purchases. But as Ensie points out, you have to spend a lot. How much? Well, you are limited, according to the report, to a maximum refund of $500. $500 is 2% of $25,000*. That's right, to get the max payback you'd have to shell out $25,000 yearly. And then they'd cut you off.

Costco had total revenue of $38,762,499 (that's billion) of which membership fees accounted for $769,406 (million). There was an increase from FY2001 of 17%, which is partially attributable to an increase in membership fees. The membership fees generally are 2.03% of sales. So, I was right to say that there must be some cost they assign to the membership fees, even if I can't find it. I mean, it stands to reason right? If membership fees accounted for $769,406 (million) and there were net earnings of $700 million, then clearly not all of the membership fees are straight profit. There must be some cost associated with the membership fees, like the salary for employees who do the sign ups, or the cost of printing up the cards, or other things I can't think of. They must lump it in under "selling, general, administrative" expenses which, for FY2002 was a hefty $3,575,536 (billion), but they don't seem to break it out enough for us to see what the membership program costs them, although they do note that this includes salary, health insurance and workers comp. Of course, they also don't break out how much more the executive level membership class pays for goods and services over the basic level, so we can't figure out if the class has a greater impact on the bottom line beyond simply the expanded fee.

So, what's the upshot? Well, seems to me that membership fee income is very important to Costco, which explains why that guy was soliciting people in line to upgrade, and that Ensie was right, you have to spend a lot of money to make any program like this worthwhile.

Oh, and Helen, the annual report claims to have had three openings in England. Looks like there could be a 20 gallon of jiffy in your future after all.

Let me add a small disclaimer, because while it seems obvious, you never know: nothing herein should be considered investment advice or a recommendation to purchase or sell securities. I am not qualified to make investment recommendations and I ain't doing so here. If you're taking investment advice from me, you're worse off than you might think!

*Math mistake caught by Mick. Thanks, Mick!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:36 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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1 Dang. I was just about to call my broker until I read that last line. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at August 04, 2004 10:05 AM (IOwam)

2 Phew! That was a close one, Jim. I'm glad I put that disclaimer in!

Posted by: rp at August 04, 2004 10:09 AM (LlPKh)

3 *ahem* I've been going to Costco for what must be ten years by now. For the first 8 years, I paid $45 every year for the privilege of shopping in bulk and getting good deals on various items. But for the last two years, we've been excecutive members. I now get a check once a year between $50-$100, depending on how much we spent that year. Regular membership: $45.00 Executive membership: $100.00 As you can see, if I get a check for *anything* above the $45.00 I pay anyway, I've saved on my annual membership fee. So I end up either getting my entire yearly membership paid for, if I get back $100, or at least I get my fee partially paid for. Before, I was just out the $45.00 every year. Plus, Executive membership hours are different. I can get in and shop before the vast unwashed hordes (read: you regular card holders *g*) are allowed to sully the premises. ;-P So, it completely depends on how much you spend a year at Costco as to whether or not it would make sense for a family to get the Exec card or not. Obviously, if you don't spend several thousand a year there, it doesn't make sense. We buy: all our paper products, including office products, all meat, bread, olive oil, soda, beer, fresh vegetables, DVDs, most Christmas gifts, wrapping paper, tuna, pasta, detergent, milk products, towels, socks, sheets, pharmaceuticals, outdoor furniture, appliances, books, etc., etc., at Costco whenever possible. Oh, and gas for our two gas-guzzling cars, which is much cheaper than anywhere else. FYI: did you know that the prices for meds at Costco are cheaper than most medical insurance companies have to offer? So, before you write off the Exec card, make sure you don't buy enough anually to make it a pretty good idea. :-)

Posted by: Amber at August 04, 2004 01:54 PM (zQE5D)

4 That's a great analysis, Amber, however, I don't agree with you that all you have to earn back is the $45. You're out the $45 regardless. Now, you're out an additional $55. To earn back that $100 fee you just spent to get that card, you'd have to spend $5,000 a year there, or $416 a month. That is probably a trip there almost every week. We don't have gas available at the ones near us in NY, which would help push that total up and are, perhaps, not as committed as you are in shopping there. For instance, I don't really care for the meat they sell and we find a much broader range of beverage options at our local supermarket. For someone like you, it probably makes a lot of sense. For someone who shops there the way I do, it probably doesn't. Thanks for taking the time to leave such a detailed comment.

Posted by: RP at August 04, 2004 02:12 PM (LlPKh)

5 $500 is 2% of $25,000. But it's still an outrageous amount of money to spend there, even if you're a business owner.

Posted by: Mick at August 04, 2004 03:21 PM (VhRca)

6 Thanks, Mick. I corrected it on the post itself, giving you credit!

Posted by: RP at August 04, 2004 03:49 PM (LlPKh)

7 I hear you, Random. :-) Like I said, if you don't go a LOT, it doesn't make sense. Btw, we don't go every week; we go once a month, it's a pill of a trip *grins* and we don't like doing it, but the prices are so good, we just can't pass it up. Btw, just to clarify for anyone reading and thinking of joining, the check can be used ONLY at Costco; it's not cash in your pocket. Also, Costco gasoline does NOT count towards the total; only merchandise from the store. The 1st year we paid the $100 *total* annual fee, there are no more fees than that, that's it. We received a check at the end of that year for $57.17 towards our next Costco trip. So that year, we ended up paying $42.83 total for our dues. A savings of $2.17 But the 2nd year we made a bigger effort to go strictly to Costco. We received $93.47 towards our next Costco trip a the end of that year. So we paid $6.53 in total dues for that year. So, instead of spending $90 in membership dues over the past two years we've only spent $49.36 for two years. That's why we do it. :-) However, we're probably in the minority. A lot of people don't go enough to make a difference, so you're right; in that case, they'd be out the extra money for nothing. And that's what they are hoping for, of course. Like gyms who hope you join and then "forget" to go. :-)

Posted by: Amber at August 04, 2004 07:48 PM (zQE5D)

8 You're on the right track with that one, Amber. It's like mail-in rebates: the manufacturers count on most people not sending in the rebates. A very low percentage of customers actually do. That's depressing, because most of us only buy certain products because they come with a mail-in rebate. Personally, I go to Sam's Club. I signed the company up for a business membership, they give me and the owner's wife free cards and the employees can purchase two cards each for $30. They don't have the same variety Costco does but they don't have the same lines either. Regardless, I can still buy 3 months worth of toilet paper and enough paper towels to wallpaper my house. *smiles*

Posted by: Mick at August 04, 2004 11:41 PM (C1v6m)

9 Regular membership: $45.00 Executive membership: $100.00 20 gallon jar of Jiffy: Priceless.

Posted by: Helen at August 05, 2004 04:45 AM (UU5+s)

10 Just for your information, I spoke with a Costco service representative and she noted that gasoline purchases and cigarette purchases do not count towards the Executive membership rebate calculation.

Posted by: Ernie at February 12, 2005 10:52 PM (ZCUrE)

11 Up here in Canada, Costco has not yet invented a way to ask you just once if you would like to be an executive member (I don't). The assistant manager told me that perhaps by next year they'll work out a way not to give you the high pressure treatment every time you set foot in the store. Any innovative ideas out there on how to fight this garbage?

Posted by: zack at April 09, 2005 11:03 PM (IIppg)

12 Just got the Costco check in the mail. Only it's NO LONGER A CHECK! It's a coupon now! It can't even been used towards next year's membership payment! (sorry for the exclamation points, but this is just wrong) Actually, there are several things the "check" cannot be used for when shopping at Costco. What a joke. I tbink the Consumer Rights Agencies need to be contacted. To enlist members under the guise of a 2% cashback rebate and then change the terms is bait and switch, it's also fraud. The proper slogan for Costco to use, in my opinion, would be "2% coupon back on all purchases". Lol, somehow doesn't have the same ring. By the way, one additional shoppig "privilege" of the executive membership card is you can shop earlier in the day and avoid the longer lines. But without actually getting the cash back feature, this card is now a joke and I'll probably cancel my executive membership.

Posted by: A. A. at May 26, 2005 01:15 PM (Xp4ia)

13 Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about! Just talked to someone from Costco who says the executive program hasn't changed at all. As long as the check can be used towards renewal, I'll be satisfied.

Posted by: A.A. at May 26, 2005 01:30 PM (Xp4ia)

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I was packed off to Costco by my wife yesterday, while the children were napping, in order to replenish supplies. It was pretty crowded and I had a little time to look around. Here are some of the random observations that stuck with me.

*I am surprised by the number of luxury cars in the parking lot. I shouldn't be, really. Their average "ring" at the cash register is over several hundred dollars. Their most recent available annual report (pdf file) is actually really interesting reading and I was particularly interested to see how rapidly they have grown.

*Part of that growth has to come from idiots who accept the solicitation to upgrade their memberships from the base level, ours, to the executive level, more expensive but with some kind of discount attached. I was standing in line to pay and some guy came over and said, "how'd you like to save some money today because I can help you do that". I was instantly put in mind of Guys and Dolls. I felt like if I told him I was interested in him saving me money, I'd be like Marlon Brando saying, "Daddy, I've got cider in my ear". But it's such an effective sales technique. What are you going to say, "no, I don't want to save any money". But really, it seems clear that you are not going to save any money.

*I walked out behind two obese men in tight shorts which pushed at their bodies in such a way as to cause bulges where there shouldn't have been. The bulges were easy to look at because they were wearing these sleeveless t-shirts with huge arm holes so just about everything could hang out the sides. They were perspiring profusely and I felt it was a gift to humanity at large that these two gentlemen had included within their shopping the generous economy packages of Irish Spring bath soap -- 12 bars, I had time to count the bars as I was trapped behind them.

*Free samples will attract hordes like flies on a horse. If you have any hope of moving quickly through the crowds, plan your foray to avoid the sample stands. I actually got close enough to ask one unhappy sample lady what was an offer at her table and she told me to look at the sign. I asked, what sign and she said it was on the front of the table. It would have been quicker for her just to say pork but maybe she was just doing her part to demonstrate the importance of adult literacy. Or maybe not.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:55 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I was reflecting on summer this weekend. It was, by the way, a glorious Saturday. We had some friends come out from the City and we whisked them away to the beach and the kiddie pool. The weather was perfect, the rum punch from the bar was sublime, the water was warm and free from jellyfish, the children made sand castles and hunted for the prettiest mussel shells, and the young women in their bikinis were as attractive as they were unattainable. Actually, the young women made me feel tired just by looking at them -- that's how I know I am getting old, they are no longer objects of desire! It was really as close to a perfect day as I have passed this summer.

But it got me to thinking about childhood summers past and those summers past included, without fail, a trip to one of the last old fashioned soda fountains in the county. It was in a pharmacy on Main Street and it was a long gleaming counter with round stools which spun around. It was always cool in there without being cold. And there were polished chrome things everywhere you looked behind the counter. I would order the same thing every time -- the root beer float, perhaps one of the most felicitous combinations every dreamt up, even better than peanut butter and chocolate. By the time I was old enough to go there, there was no soda jerk anymore, just the elderly pharmacist. He would come over and take our orders. Then I would watch him squirt the syrup into the glass and mix it with soda water. The ice cream would come next and I'd get a long spoon and a straw. The glass itself was tall and fit into a special metal glass holder contraption and the condensation would bead on the glass and the metal would get very cold. It was special because I went with my father, just him and me and because the making of the float seemed to be conducted with such special ceremony in a hushed place.

The pharmacy closed eventually, I don't remember when exactly. But I do miss it still. I'd like to take my children to one. If I hit the road with them, I'll see if I can swing by any of these recommendations. Or, if I get to Kansas, they have a statewide list.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:35 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Everybody does one of these posts, sooner or later, and I think it's my turn now. Here are some of the odd things people have searched for and found me with:

*"how to know the names of buddies"

*"spanked tushies" (this was all caps)

*"stealing gas"

*"watch my wife"

*"random funny things"

*"picture of 80 s power suits"

*"flamingo dolls"

Aren't you just a little bit curious about some of the people who performed these searches? Watch my wife? Do what?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:23 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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