You can, you know. It turns out that it is easy to improve your stress level.

I woke up this morning at 3:30 and got out of bed in order to send myself an email detailing all the things I need to do. There are many of them. The list was daunting. Just the same, I took care of at least trying to organize my thoughts for the week and break everything down into a manageable list of tasks. I tell you this not to exalt my own stress levels, since we are all stressed, to one extent or another, but because I wanted to give you a glimpse of my mindset going forward.

I toddled off to the gym at the appointed hour and lifted weights. I did not have it in me to do the cardio work out. Got to the office early, ready to tackle my list, when my cell phone went off. It was our alarm company. The glass break alarm in the kitchen went off at 8:29. The police had been dispatched.

I sat down and opened my coffee. It was now around 8:35 or so. I waited to hear something. I called my wife and I called the nanny to let them know something was going on. I waited some more.

I called the alarm company back to see if they had received any reports back from the police. They had. All was well. It was just the painters, you see.

Fine. The painters. Ok. But, small detail, we werenÂ’t having any painting done.

Stress level shoots waaaaay up and I begin to perspire.

I call the police back. We have a pleasant chat and they confirm that they spoke to the painters who were there to re-do the upstairs wall paper. ThatÂ’s nice. Our upstairs doesnÂ’t even have any wall paper to re-do. The responding officer and I chat some more and it turns out that he had visited the house next door, not my house.

They re-dispatch officers to my house. By this time, about 50 minutes had elapsed since the alarm company first registered the alarm. Plenty of time to clean the place out. I sit here, drumming my fingers, hoping that if someone broke into the house, they did not take my grandmotherÂ’s ring, which I had just given to my wife and which I need to have appraised so I can schedule it on my insurance. Current status of ring, in other words, not scheduled, not insured.

A little while later, the Viking Bride calls to tell me that the police were there when she got home from some thing she had to attend at camp today. All is well, false alarm.

And that, in a nutshell, is how you improve your stress level. Mine went way up in a really very short time.

HowÂ’s your stress?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:45 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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This is an interesting concept and one I probably don't have to define, right? I was really first made aware of the concept of seasonality and its impact on financial statements by my father. I was in high school. My dad and I had formed the habit of going out to dinner, just the two of us, every week or every other week. We would often spend the conversation discussing a philosophical problem that he would pose. One time, he began to teach me how to read financial statements. First, he gave me a book and then we discussed it. So, what, you saying your parents were normal? Anyway, one example he gave me, while trying to teach me what kinds of questions you should ask while reading an income statement, was what impact seasonality might have on a business. For instance, his example, if you looked at a Christmas Tree business's income statement during the month of December, you would see huge income being generated and if you took that as your beginning point and made assumptions about their regular monthly sales based on that single monthÂ’s results, you'd be way off because you didn't take into account that it was a seasonal business. I really enjoyed these dinners with my dad.

Now, just to demonstrate now how a child can be warped by strong parental influence, I was walking down the street today to go to my tailor. As is my wont, I was observing all that was around me and I began to ponder the age old question of seasonality and the impact on income statements. What I was wondering was, quite simply, are sales of bras significantly down in the summer? Because it sure looked like no women were wearing them today.

I bet I was the only sicko on the streets of NY today staring at woman's breasts and wondering what the impact of their bra-less state was on the income statements of lingerie manufacturers and further wondering whether there was any play in the stock market because of that fact.

I think this is probably a cry for help, by the way.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:52 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 I think extensive research should be conducted in this area. Perhaps assisting in the fitting of women's bras at the local Victoria's Secret or Fredrick's of Hollywood. Of course we'd need to subdivide the territories and demographics. I'll take the Southeast US and hot 18 - 30 year olds. I smell a government grant coming!!!

Posted by: phin at July 14, 2006 12:04 PM (6lSxB)

2 Two words: shelf bra. And, no, they don't work as well as a regular bra. Now, provided Pamela Anderson wasn't in the vicinity, you should have nothing to worry about re: eyes being poked out, etc.

Posted by: Kathy at July 14, 2006 04:33 PM (3HDjN)

3 You have a tailor!!?? The best I can do is find a dry cleaner that will hem my pants. I need some serious culture improvement. I had lost touch with Kathy of the Cake Eater Chronicles and that's been my loss. With her knowledge of the shelf bra, she is back on my Favorites list. Maybe I don't need so much culture improvement after all. Keep up the good work. Dan Patterson Arrogant Infidel

Posted by: Dan Patterson at July 15, 2006 09:52 PM (GWOjN)

4 For more well-endowed women, shelf bras are a joke. A shelf bra will cause the girls to giggle and appear unsupported no matter how firm they actually are. But, RP, back to your closing thoughts. I doubt you were the only man on the streets noticing the giggling affirmations of womanhood, but you well may have been the only man who was considering the financial implications of them. Enjoy the moment!

Posted by: femmedespoir at July 16, 2006 01:19 AM (C2A/u)

5 I was going to say, no fair that all those women can go without bras! But what about lingerie for nightwear/playtime? Isn't that just as popular in the summer? And then you've got all the teenagers who suddenly need bras, as summer is time for shopping... But interesting idea, definitely.

Posted by: Hannah at July 17, 2006 01:02 AM (ImQx2)

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Or maybe a colander.

Our little spot of paradise received an inch of water in a very short time yesterday, along with high winds and thunder and all the other bits that make inclement weather so interesting.

Of course, we lost power, too. But only, as it turned out, for about two hours.

In that two hour period, however, my house showed how it is different from a sieve or a colander. Want to know how? Well, a sieve or a colander, while it allows water to pass through it, also by design permits the water to drain away. My house, while it shares the function of allowing water to pass through it, wants instead to retain the water and not permit it to pass away.

We had 8 different leaks in 5 different areas of the house encompassing 3 different floors. 8 leaks. I am quite certain that my entire kitchen ceiling will need to be replaced. (In fact, that reminds me, I need to call my insurance company). Well, my insurance company will most likely disclaim coverage, as I have just found out. I am not shocked. I just called because I would have felt like an idiot for not investigating the possibility of making a claim.

The roofer is coming by today, this morning.

At present, I still don't hate my house. Yet. The time, however, may be coming soon.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:45 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Christina, at Justdotchristina has had a horrible thing happen -- her house was struck by lightening and burned down. She has also had a wonderful thing happen -- no one, no child, no person, no animal was injured.

God was looking out for you that day, my friend. And I'm so glad.

Please send her your prayers, your thoughts, and any good ideas you have for kitchen and bath remodeling.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:10 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 She and Dash are already talking about that

Posted by: caltechgirl at July 12, 2006 05:13 PM (pku0F)

2 Oh, honey, it was so good to hear your voice last week. ; ) Yes, lots of somebodys were looking out for us. Thank you!

Posted by: Christina at July 14, 2006 02:31 PM (d3PqG)

3 Just left her a comment - Terrible tragedy, but it looks like they need more than a kitchen and bath remodel so I'm confused.

Posted by: Mark at July 16, 2006 01:14 PM (r/w14)

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Thanks for nothing.

Verizon lost internet service yesterday in large parts of NYC. Our office lost internet connections and our email. All has been restored. Took about 24 hours but finally back.

In the meantime, I renew my desire never to go into a business venture with a family member, other than my father, I suppose.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:29 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I have, as we are fond of saying in my office, returned with my shield and not on it. Actually, as far as visits to in-laws go, this was among the best. I attribute that to my decision to strike out on my own a bit, to leave my kids with my in-laws, and to make my own way in Oslo. Since I have a number of friends and made some appointments for myself, it was not too terribly difficult. Just had to suffer through a number of interminable family dinner parties at night, really. The days, however, the days were mine.

A full report to follow. When the jet lag clears. The baby, unfortunately, senses weakness and was up three or four times last night. I am a bit tired.

Sunday I was swimming in the Oslo Fjord and today I am back at my desk. I feel like the arm of a record player dropping back into a well worn groove. I'm not sure I like it. I usually find some comfort in routine. Today I wonder whether routine, while often pleasurable, comes at the expense of imagination. You follow along, like the milkman's horse, and forget to lift your head, to look at the horizon.

In other words, were it not for kids, I feel the need to go on an adventure. Quit the job, move to Oslo, and see what happens. I bet I could find something. Certainly found some beautiful apartment listings on the web.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:32 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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