The end of another school year is upon us, rather suddenly. The Girl Child graduates from pre-school tomorrow. I plan to attend. I will try not to cry too much. I will probably fail in that. But that's tomorrow. Yesterday was the last day of school for the Boy Child. He's finished his 2's program, his first year of school. I'm not sure that he grasps the idea that he won't have "Toni Class" any more. I am told that Toni, his teacher, was a mess yesterday, crying all over the place. The Boy Child was her favorite, or so she told us when she told us that, "you know, we're are not allowed to have favorites, ahem."

I had the kids on my bed last night for story reading, just the three of us. We often do that. After we finished reading, I gathered the Boy Child into my arms and spoke to him. I told him that I was so proud of him for finishing his first year of school. He asked me why so I elaborated. I told him that he learned so much, that he came to school barely speaking and now he speaks so beautifully, that he went to school in diapers and now wears underpants, that he learned how to play with others, how to do arts and crafts, how to sit for story time, how to celebrate Shabbot, and how to be his own little guy. The Girl Child then said that I would be prouder of her when she graduates and I gently told her that right now we were talking about the Boy Child and how much we loved him and how we were proud of him and she agreed that she was proud of him, too. Tomorrow, I told her, would be her day, and she was ok with that.

I then told him that he learned to be more independent. That when he started, he used to get so sad and cry and have to go out on the playground so the Girl Child could give him a hug and I asked him if he remembered this? He did and so did the Girl Child. And now, I told him, he doesn't have to do that and that in and of itself was a nice big change. He liked hearing about that and he and I and the Girl Child talked about it for a little bit.

He is such a beautiful little boy and when I told him that I loved him and that I was so proud of him, he glowed so bright he was practically incandescent. The Girl Child and I sat there and cuddled with him and basked in his happiness.

I still feel it now, so I decided to write about it.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:56 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The Boy Child does not like to be stampeded into a decision. He has begun to request information. He wants to gather all the facts before he's pushed into making a choice and the more important the choice, the more facts he wants. When asked what he wants for dinner, he now responds, in the spirit of diligent inquiry: "What mine options are?"

Imagine what he's like when the stakes are raised on a dessert question.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:02 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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She can't take it anymore, that much is clear. The baby is having gas pains and it makes him cry very hard and with great gusto, a lot. Of course, we all feel for the little guy. Sometimes, say, at 2:30 a.m., it is more of a struggle to winch up a little water from the well of sympathy.

Normally, the Girl Child sleeps like a rock. Impossible to wake and, if woken before her self appointed hour, not the most gracious human I have ever seen. Falling asleep for her can take hours, but once asleep, she's good for a very long stretch.

Last night, I bathed the kids and put them to bed. The Viking Bride was feeding the baby in his room. All was quiet, all was calm. Then the crying started. That's when the Girl Child registered the following complaint with the management:

[arms up, hands out in front of her waving around for emphasis through the whole speech]
Mamma, you know I can't sleep when the baby's crying.

It keeps me up and I wake up in the morning exhausted. I don't know what you were thinking when you decided to have another baby. The first I knew of it was when you were in the hospital and Pappa told me. I am perfectly good with the brother I have. I don't need another brother on the other side.

I knew I was going to be exhausted in the morning. I don't know what you were thinking having another baby. And his crying keeps me up all night.

Clearly, the pressure is getting to her and she just cracked.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 07:42 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 Too young to have these fissures. Does she take good naps? Hang in there Family RP!

Posted by: Wicked H at May 25, 2006 08:06 AM (iqFar)

2 How funny.. exactly how old is girl child... she way beyond her years....

Posted by: Kiddoc at May 25, 2006 10:11 AM (De/e6)

3 Man the gas pains are horrid, of course the missus hates when I ease the pains. She'd rather I suffer. She still thinks its cute when the phinlet relieves the pressure. 'tis a double standard I say and I'll be having none of that in my house hold (so long as the missus doesn't read these comments).

Posted by: phin at May 25, 2006 02:48 PM (79dMt)

4 You could tell the Girl Child that she used to cry alot, too, when she was a baby and that it's a phase that all newborns go through as they get used to eating through their mouth instead of a tube in their tummy. She might understand that and find some more patience. It's just gas. It'll pass.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 25, 2006 03:50 PM (fs1yQ)

5 Oh, no, that's barely a chink in her armor. She's good to go. ; )

Posted by: Christina at May 25, 2006 07:24 PM (zJsUT)

6 Oh my goodness. And so...mature in her delivery. This girl is going to rule the world one of these days. I've very little doubt.

Posted by: Jennifer at May 26, 2006 04:02 PM (y4DOI)

7 I love the stories of your children so much, RP. :-) I've told both stories today, of the GC and the BC to everyone I've talked to on the phone and the consensus is..."Awwww!" :-)

Posted by: Amber at May 26, 2006 04:44 PM (zQE5D)

8 Too much!!! LOL

Posted by: Mark at May 26, 2006 09:07 PM (jPkqe)

9 Oh, we should ALL have this child's common sense! Sleep is so very important. Hang in there, love. This too, shall pass. (I know that little pun's been done before, but I'm incapable of stopping it.)

Posted by: Margi at May 28, 2006 02:56 AM (BRtaN)

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You have to instill certain values in your children. I subscribe to the unpopular view that children are essentially savages, people who have no self control, no ability to separate desire from action, people who will take the shortest distance between wish and fulfillment, even if that means trampling all over someone else. I know that conflicts with the widely held belief that children are innocents, fuzzy little creatures of inherent goodness as glimpsed from afar through a pastel, impressionist like lens. Phooey. Because I believe the Lord of the Flies was probably a lot closer to truth than to fiction, I have (as I believe I have mentioned before) tried to raise my little ones to hit back and to hit in defense of each other. Simplicity itself, really.

If someone hits the Girl Child, she hits back. If she sees someone hit her brother, her obligation is to get her butt over there and defend her brother with her fists. These two concepts are so very useful. First, they are simple to understand. Second, it makes the Girl Child empowered -- she is responsible for defending her little brother (who, of course, is supposed to do the same thing for his sister) and there is no "I'm a girl" garbage and I can't hit. My little girl will learn to defend herself, will learn how to solve her own problems, and not rely on the kindness of strangers to either defend or protect her. In essence, I am trying to make her self-reliant.

It may be working.

We were at brunch with my parents and my mother in law yesterday for Mothers' Day. We took them to our little beach club and after lunch the kids played on the lawn with some of their Summer friends, the kids they only see at the beach during the Summer. The Boy Child was amusing himself with a purple frisbee when some older child tried to snatch it out of his hands. The older child did not take no for an answer and hit my son. The Girl Child practically flew across the lawn, after witnessing the altercation, and smacked the kid. The kid then hit my daughter who, immediately, smacked him back much harder and the kid retreated from the field.

Telling you that I was bursting with pride would understate my feelings. She stood up for herself, she made it clear that she would not accept being hit or being a target, and she protected her brother.

They both came running over to tell me about it, not knowing, I suppose, that I had seen the whole thing. My son was all for saddling up and heading off in hot pursuit of "that stupid boy", but I gently dissuaded him, trying to let him down gently that the moment for hitting back in his own defense had passed now that the "stupid boy" had run away.

They acted just the way I had hoped they would. Without hesitation, to protect each other.

I guess they do listen.

On a different topic, I thought that the Boy Child said something very charmingly profound this weekend.

Boy Child: Pappa, are you an grownup?

Me: Yes, I am. Are you a grownup?

BC: No, I are not an grownup. I are an someone.

Indeed.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:50 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 That's a great story, thanks for sharing RP. I wholeheartedly agree with you about the self defense, kids like that boy see prey, kids they can pick on and pounce. Kids have to stand up for themselves and their siblings to drive off the little pricks, just like your daughter did. It's a difficult concept to a peace-loving kid like my son, he just gets upset when other kids take his toys etc. Although I HAVE seen him push other kids back and retaliate, many times he picks the more peaceful route because something else interests him more. He's coming up on kindergarten years soon, and I've seen the kids in my neighbourhood so yeah, I'm going to teach him how to punch too.

Posted by: Oorgo at May 15, 2006 03:17 PM (lM0qs)

2 I love it. I had nothing to do with it and I'M proud of them. I can only try to imagine your experience at the time.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 15, 2006 07:24 PM (uE4xA)

3 And that is a great quote from the BC. Out of the mouths of babes, indeed...

Posted by: MCNS at May 16, 2006 01:13 PM (pbCqD)

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My daughter has discovered that she can use the phone by herself now if someone reads her the number off the wall. Life is over.

She wished to have a playdate with friend A. She called friend A, I'm told, spoke to the mother, took our home calendar down, and proposed a free date to friend's mother. Mother said she'd call her back. The Girl Child did not wait patiently and at 5 minute intervals proposed calling back. I demurred. So, flushed with the joy of success from her first solo phone venture, she requested a playdate with friend B. I consented and handed her the phone. This time I got to listen and even take part.

Girl Child: Hello, this is Girl Child. I'm calling to arrange a play date with Friend. I'm free on Friday, is that good for her? [pause] Ok, I'll put my father on.

[Now, just so you know, I really like this woman]

Mother: Hi, she did that so nicely but Friday's not going to work, how about next week?

Me: That would be fine. Yeah, I was really pleased with her phone manners, actually.

Mother: How's your wife?

Me: My wife? She's a good wife. No, really. I mean, no, she's a really good wife. Why? What have you heard? What are people saying?

[silence]

Mother: I meant, I mean, didn't she just have a baby?

Me: Oh yeah. That. Yeah, she's a little whiny but otherwise doing great. Thanks for asking!

See why my daughter wants to cut me out of the play date making process?

I'm going to be such an embarrassment to her when she's older. No question about it.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:01 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 cute! when my girl child was 3 a friend of mine told her she could call her anytime if she ever needed anything. well, girl child took this literally and began waking up at 2 a.m. to call my friend. after four nights of this, my friend told me, "i'm not supposed to tell you, but..." and told me the whole story. of course, it was hilarious, but i had NO idea she knew how to do that on her own. watch out! thanks for stopping by my site. cheers!

Posted by: femme despoir at May 12, 2006 09:18 AM (hyET4)

2 I have a little man (4 yrs) in Australia who just worked out that Auntie Mia (in Hong Kong) is on speed dial. We've been having great chats.....

Posted by: Mia at May 12, 2006 06:26 PM (bSCmv)

3 "She's a little whiny. . ." BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! In the immortal words of Maude: God'll get you for that, Walter. LMFAOO You nut!

Posted by: Margi at May 13, 2006 01:56 AM (BRtaN)

4 that is so cute at least she hasn't asked for the car keys! (yet)

Posted by: zya at May 13, 2006 04:30 AM (3zyD3)

5 I was laughing so hard at that one I droppped the phone and nearly fell off my chair retrieving it while chucking.

Posted by: michele at May 16, 2006 12:31 PM (gOmeT)

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