I was right. Slowing down to take things in at the pace of a 21 month old is good for the soul, even if it is bad for the back. And arms.

I carted the young master off to Gotham today. We took the 8:56 train in this morning to get up to the Museum of Natural History. We had no car seat with us so we took the bus up and a bus over. He seemed to enjoy it very much. The train ride was interesting. I reckon he has never heard the word "motherfu**er" quite so much or said with such varying degrees of admiration or affection. It got to the point where I was seriously considering asking the guy to tone his language down, but I was not inclined to get into an argument about it, especially since my son doesn't even talk yet. I also venture to guess that this would be the first time the boy has had the pleasure of the word "ni**er", and no, it wasn't from me (in case you were wondering).

It was a beautiful day in the City. The kind of day that made me sorry I ever moved out. If we were better dressed, I would have taken the boy to brunch.

The musuem was relatively crowded. But, for some reason, the butterfly exhibit was empty. We were there with maybe only 5 or 6 other people. The volunteers had time to show us all kinds of different butterflies. There were about 500 of them flying around in there with us. One of them landed on me. It was beautiful and when it closed its wings, it looked exactly like a leaf. Amazing natural camoflage. The boy kepy running around and pointing at them so I'm pretty sure he was engaged, and that's all I wanted.

I then took him to see the hall of the mammals. He kept running around the elephants, pointing up at them and saying, "Bah!!" Bah is his word for any animal and every animal, fish included. He was adorable.

I got him home in time for lunch (barely) and down for a nap a little late. I know he was tired today because at bedtime tonight, we went down like a stone.

One final thought in this disorganized and disconnected post, taking care of one child is so easy. I kind of forgot that.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:13 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 413 words, total size 2 kb.

I have already, recently, done a post in which I set forth several things for which I was thankful and why and I don't think the subject bears revisiting so soon. No, instead of that, I will go on a bit about how I plan to spend my Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday.

We are going to my parent's house for Thanksgiving dinner, well, lunch this year instead of dinner. One nice thing that we do, and I assume we are not alone in this, is we go around the table and talk about what we are thankful for this year, what we are giving thanks for. I always enjoy that. We also have a tradition that we created after my mother had a stroke about 9 years ago. She was in the hospital and not able to join us, so it was just my dad, my wife and me. My sister was in Florida. None of the three of us particularly like turkey, as heretical as that may sound. My father had recently started a subscription to Cooks Illustrated, an excellent magazine, by the way, and had read about dry aging your own prime rib and slow cooking it at 200 degrees for something like six hours. So we 86'ed the turkey and made that instead. It was sublime. And that has become our Thanksgiving meal. Email me if you want the recipe and I'll send it to you. We also use the fabulous meat as an excuse to break out a really good bottle of wine, something far beyond the ordinary every day plonk. The meat deserves it, you know.

Then, at 4:00, my wife and the Girl Child depart for Norway. I am already missing my daughter and I told her that last night. She said that it would be ok and that I could call her in Norway to talk. But there is a silver lining in my little cloud -- ITS BOYS WEEKEND! The Boy Child and I are together for the whole weekend! I can see it now, sports on tv, cigars, scotch, chili, etc. Oh, wait, I forgot. He's only 21 months old. We can't have the cigars. But we can have chili because we discovered last night that he likes my super strong chili. Attaboy!

I am really looking forward to this weekend with him. I feel like it will be a great opportunity to get to know him better since his sister will not be around. It will also force me to slow down and do things at more of a 21 month old pace. This is a good thing. I could use the rest.

And then, when he goes to sleep, the evenings are mine! All mine!!! I can stay up and read, or rent all of the Christopher Guest movies, or run a little tasting test on the various single malts I have, or whatever. It will be pure freedom, constrained only by the need to stay within hearing reach of his monitor. You know, I might even try to get a little exercise. Naw, now why would I want to spoil a perfectly good weekend with something silly like that?

I like the freedom of being alone, of not having my wife around. You know why? The only reason it is enjoyable? Because it is limited in time. If she were gone for a long period, it would not be a treat, but a horrible disconnect. I would hate that, have hated it. How can I sleep, among other things? No, I will enjoy my little freedom as the compensation I get for worrying about my wife and daughter while they are away from me.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving with much to give thanks about!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:35 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
Post contains 639 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Have a Happy Thanksgiving! And enjoy your break, you deserve it. I understand your point entirely, and I've always felt the same way. Whenever I would send my wife and daughter off to see her mother, it was my turn to relax. But after a few days I just missed them terribly. It's nice to get a breather sometimes, though. Hope you and the boy child have some serious male bonding!

Posted by: Mick at November 24, 2004 02:44 PM (VhRca)

2 Have a happy Thanksgiving, my friend. Oh, and for the unfettered Boy Time: Mazel tov!

Posted by: Margi at November 24, 2004 03:52 PM (MAdsZ)

3 You gotta take him to Hooters to experience the male trifecta...beer, wings, and um, hooters. Besides, who's he gonna tell?

Posted by: Howard at November 24, 2004 04:03 PM (e1Imk)

4 Mick, I hope you and Christina have a really great time together! Thanks, Margi! Back at ya, sunshine! Howard: That is a DAMN fine idea. Although, he has probably had more quality time with breasts in the past 20 months than I have!

Posted by: RP at November 24, 2004 04:21 PM (LlPKh)

5 Just a word of caution, from the voice of experience: Children have no inner-monologue. They crack on the witness stand. They 'fess up. Mommy will know. Trust me.

Posted by: Margi at November 24, 2004 04:36 PM (MAdsZ)

6 He likes your chili? That is so awesome. I remember the first time that Bear tried my hot wings and he liked them. I had tears in my eyes. Well, I always have tears in my eyes when I'm eating my wings but these were extra special tears. Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted by: Jim at November 24, 2004 05:39 PM (GCA5m)

7 I was never so proud as when I saw my nephew shaking black pepper onto his tongue. *sniff*

Posted by: Tuning Spork at November 24, 2004 11:52 PM (fQhXy)

8 Parting is all we know of heaven, And all we need of hell. --Emily Dickinson Boys will be boys. Have fun this Thanksgiving, Penseur.

Posted by: Jester at November 25, 2004 03:09 PM (yS8Mo)

9 Happy Thanksgiving, RP. Enjoyed reading about your traditions and perspectives on relaxation. And I hope you really enjoy Boy's Night this weekend. I'm a Grandma, so I just have to nag. Could you just cool the Chile a little from your standard mix - you did say 21 months, didn't you?

Posted by: Roberta s at November 25, 2004 04:34 PM (M3w1y)

10 Margi, that is a very useful tip which I will keep in mind when he acquires langauge skills. Right now, I am shielded by his inability to communicate with words. Hey, Jim, Happy Thanksgiving back at ya! Black pepper? On his tongue? Ouch. Jester, what a pleasure to see you again! Roerta, I appreciate the caution and accept it happily in the spirit in which it was meant. The Boy Child gets his portion toned down by adding lots of sour cream and cheese. He still looks a bit surprised by each bite, but not in a bad way. Your comments and even admonishments are always welcome!

Posted by: RP at November 26, 2004 04:36 PM (X3Lfs)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

The Girl Child, all of 3 and 3/4, continues to amuse and delight us.

She summoned me from the dinner table last night with the call to arms:

Hey, baby, let's go to Vegas!

Don't ask. I have no idea where she gets this from.

Then, she asked my wife about my mother's brothers. They had the following conversation:

GC: How many brothers does Nana have?

W: Two.

GC: What are their names?

W: Uncle Steve and Uncle Eric.

GC: Where do they live?

W: California.

GC: Oh. All uncles live in California, but then they get over it.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:47 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
Post contains 109 words, total size 1 kb.

Yesterday, I posted about evil and a couple of other things. Today, I experienced the antithesis of evil: children.

My wife and I were the designated Shabbat parents at the nursery school this morning. We brought two loaves of challah, a book, and a CD. We got to sit at the head of the table with the Girl Child. I also, in a multicultural twist at the Jewish preschool, sat next to a very non-Jewish Korean boy. My wife lit the candles and we all said the prayers over the bread, the wine (grape juice), and the candles. The children sang a song. After the celebration, I sat in a rocking chair and, in honor of the Girl Child's other heritage, read a story to the class. I read: Hiccup: The Seasick Viking.

Reading to a class of three year olds was the most pure fun I have had in a really long time. And I gave it a full, dramatic recitation, with different voices for every character and I certainly sang the song in the book to the best of my limited abilities.

My wife then explained the CD we brought with us and the children all danced to Norwegian children's music. The Girl Child grabbed another girl, held hands, and jumped about the place -- when she wasn't dancing with her mother, that is.

It was pure, unalloyed joy and the pleasure was exquisite.

So, the anti-evil? The beauty of a child's smile.

Have a great weekend, y'all!

If you need me, I regret to report that I expect to be at the office all weekend.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 05:02 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 276 words, total size 2 kb.

I was awakened this morning at 6:38 when I heard my bed room door creak open oh so gently and two little blue eyes peeked around the door frame. She was clutching her little blue blanket that is a must-sleep and, noticing I was awake, she came happily into the room to climb into bed with my wife (still sleeping) and me. We cuddled for almost a half and hour, very quietly. A half an hour of no movement is an eternity for a child. I lay my hand on her little chest and felt her heart beat. Children's hearts beat very fast as if, even in repose, they are in a hurry. I took her hand to put it on her chest and to see if she could feel her heart too and this is what she said to me:

Pappa, when hearts fall in love, they get all warm and fuzzy.

I never thought about it like that but I don't think I could have said it any better.

Here's wishing you all lots of warm and fuzzy.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:28 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 196 words, total size 1 kb.

1 What a doll. RP, I think I'm in love with your daughter. Want to trade for one of my hellions?

Posted by: Jim at November 13, 2004 01:31 PM (GCA5m)

2 Thanks, Jim. Trade, well, maybe not a trade. A loan, however, probably could be arranged. Especially on days like today when my wife calls me from home (I'm at work this fine Saturday) to tell me that there are no naps happening.

Posted by: rp at November 13, 2004 03:37 PM (LlPKh)

3 once again she proves herself the smartest person i 'almost' know.

Posted by: standing naked at November 13, 2004 03:49 PM (IAJcf)

4 That is so adorable

Posted by: Holly at November 13, 2004 08:35 PM (Wkg+N)

5 That is one of the sweetest things I've ever heard [read]. How full of love and joy she must make you! Great job, Pappa. And Mamma, too. xoxo

Posted by: Margi at November 14, 2004 04:57 AM (MAdsZ)

6 Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ...

Posted by: Hannah at November 15, 2004 04:47 AM (0tNIc)

7 Thanks, y'all. She is a constant source of surprise for me.

Posted by: RP at November 15, 2004 10:58 AM (LlPKh)

8 What a little sweetie! ::sighs::

Posted by: Amber at November 16, 2004 11:35 AM (zQE5D)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

We had our parent/teacher conference last night with the Girl Child's pre-school teachers. We send her only 3 days a week and all but one of the other children go 5 days a week. We thought that the other 2 days would be good for other things, seeing her grandmother, playdates, etc. Her teachers all had very nice, albeit not very specific, things to say about her: she listens well; plays well with the others; wants to do and does everything they ask of her; and, is just a pleasure to have around. But I could sense an implicit criticism about our decision to have her there for only three days a week. So I finally asked, did they think we should have had her there for all five days? And the head teacher kinds of looks away, and looks back, and purses her lips and blows a stream of air out and says:

Teacher: Do you want an honest answer?

Me: No, lie to me.

Fortunately, she laughed. I really have to learn to watch my mouth.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:31 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
Post contains 196 words, total size 1 kb.

Last night, while reading bed time stories to the Girl Child, she stumped me. She asked me how to say "clam" in French. I could not remember at all. So I looked it up this morning when I got to work in my handy Larousse. In French, clam is palourde. And now I know exactly why I could not remember this word last night. I never knew it before.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:14 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 77 words, total size 1 kb.

It is just going to be me and my son for Thanksgiving this year. Thanksgiving is not that far away. My wife is jetting off to Norway for her sister's wedding and has decided to take the Girl Child with her. I am more than a little disappointed. I had thought it was going to be just me and the kids all by ourselves for four days and I was delighted. I love having the kids to myself and I am surprised to discover that I am really going to miss having my daughter around. So much so that I want to tell my wife not to take her. But I'm not going to do that.

Instead, I'm focusing on how much fun it will be to have the Boy Child all to myself for four days. I don't really know him as well as I do the Girl Child or as well as I ought to and this should prove to be a golden opportunity to get to know him a bit better. I have not yet formulated any plans or come up with any activities for us to do, but I certainly want to do something fun just for him. Maybe I'll take him to a children's museum or something like that. I hope we both have a good time together. He's only 20 months and really doesn't talk at all yet beyond 2 or 3 words. That can cut down on the possibility of long chats, you see. Still, all in all, this will give him a lot of 100% attention, the kind of attention he can't quite get when the Girl Child is up and running around as she demands quite a lot of attention.

I remember, hazily, last Thanksgiving. We were about to start a trial. I was working around the clock and took that Thursday off. I took the Girl Child to the park to play. We were the only ones there. It was deeply satisfying to be there with her.

The Girl Child is not taking my work schedule (weekends, early mornings, late nights) very well. She keeps asking me when I am going to be taking care of her again. It makes me very sad. I am torn. If circumstances permitted, I'd like to stay home and take care of her full time. I am a reluctant lawyer these days.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:55 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 404 words, total size 2 kb.