Mia is asking you to help her make a clean breast of it. And who among us doesn't support that idea?

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But it least it appears to be closing, thank goodness. The silence here this week is a result of the tremendous time crunch, stress, and pressure I have been under this week. So this post is going to be sort of a recap of the week, a random series of not necessarily related anecdotes and thoughts, as I do from time to time.

Some of you know what Kol Nidre is. For those who do not, it is the beginning of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. At Kol Nidre, you ask God to forgive you for all the promises you broke to him during the year and to release you from all the bargains you struck with him but did not fulfill. Example, "God, if you let me find my keys, I'll never eat Fritos again, I promise!". Keys found and soon thereafter you have a mouthful of Fritos. You need to be forgiven this one, or so we believe. So, there we are, in synagogue with the Girl Child, the Boy Child and my parents. We are in the middle of the Silent Amidah, the main prayer for forgiveness. It is a solemn moment.

The Boy Child observes the solemnity in his own special way by passing a little gas. We have the following exchange:

Me: [Speaking in Norwegian so no one around us will understand] Did you fart? Please don't fart in here, ok?

BC: [Clearly didn't hear me as I was speaking kind of low, answers loudly in English] Pappa, are you talking about my farts?

Everyone around us broke into laughter.

* * *

This Yom Kippur was the first one spent in a temple other than my grandfather's temple. You may recall, he died in December 2005. It was my first Yom Kippur wearing his yarmulke and his talis. It was hard. It felt like, in many ways, maybe the only reason I am a Jew is because he was a Jew and he believed. With him gone, the experience went from technicolor to flat. It was as if the full range of the color palette had been severely restricted. When he died, he took some of my light out of the room, or maybe it was just that he reflected my light back on me with such love that his absence makes me think everything is a bit darker.

I'm not sure about my relationship to Judaism with him not there anymore. I can tell you that I would like to figure it out. One way is that I am going to try to live the Jewish calendar this year. I am going to try to attend Shabbat services, to celebrate the holidays I never celebrate (that would be most of them so no point in listing them here), and to give it a fair shot. Maybe at the end I will be a Jew for me and not just for him. Either way, I think I'm going to have a lot less free time on the weekends going forward.

* * *

Tuesday was not good. It was a trial day. It was so not good that in the course of that day, according to the scale in my house the next morning, I lost four pounds. And no, it wasn't because I hurled in the courtroom.

The Court found that the chief witness I was putting on, that this witness testified incredibly as a matter of law. In other words, without saying he was a liar, she said he was a liar.

The remainder of my week has been spent dealing with the fall out. I have never seen that happen before. And in case you were wondering, I think that the judge was totally off base.

* * *

Tuesday night was spent at the Girl Child's elementary school open house. The Viking Bride was home with the kinder. I went to school from the train station. It was poorly organized, sometimes downright insipid (the principal greeted the assembled parents with a bad poem of her own creation), and eventually nice. While wandering the schools, I somehow connected with a Norwegian speaking parent and spent much of the time chatting with her in Norwegian. Her son is in another kindergarten section.

The parents of any boy I met in the Girl Child's class all said the same thing: "You're the Girl Child's dad? My son talks about her all the time." Another mother who I knew from pre-school told me, "all the boys love the Girl Child". I inquired, with some concern, why that would be and she told me it was because the Girl Child liked to play and run around with them during recess. I'm glad it was that and not because she was showing the boys her underwear in the corner of the playground, you know what I'm saying?

* * *

Thursday night I was MC at a dinner for the opening of a private showing of an astounding collection of historic American flags. It went very nicely. Did you know that before 1912 when the President entered an Executive Order setting out the required appearance of the Flag, that the arrangement of the stars was entirely up to the creator's imagination? Cool, no?

* * *

So it is Friday. Finally. And considering the week I have had, I want to leave you with a little something on the lighter side, a little helpful advice from the National Health Service (Britain, I think):

Have a nice weekend!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:39 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 LOL At least you ended your post on a high note! Good luck with everything and just keep your head up, ok?

Posted by: Hannah at October 08, 2006 05:54 AM (ImQx2)

2 Amazing post. I love the farts story. I think it is great that you are exploring Judaism yourself. However, I must say that if your attendance feels like obligation, you might not be setting yourself up for the best experience. So, in addition to keeping an open mind, please keep an open heart and see what happens. I can relate to parents coming up to you about your daughter. Ari is very popular at his school and has many friends and admireres (odd for an autistic kid, I know). I get a lot of parents and other children from his classes coming up to me and saying, "Your Ari's mom, right?" I fess up to it proudly and usually hear some amusing anecdotes in the process. "Use rear entrance" Sound family planning advice.

Posted by: Linda at October 11, 2006 11:20 PM (4gch1)

3 I hope/pray you are able to find, rekindle & connect to the beauty & the spirit of your faith that I have read in your posts over the years. Even if it was a faith reflected it seems to have been a good place to be. Loss always challenges faith. At least it does for me.

Posted by: michele at October 12, 2006 08:20 PM (uqUFi)

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The title in this post is the amount of total sleep I have had in the past 48 hours. In that time, I have managed to do quite a bit, however. I shook hands with the first man to walk on the surface of the Moon, had dinner with a former hockey star (now retired), attended a contentious and difficult board meeting, set up two dinner events for later in the year, gave a bunch of legal advice for free to the president of another board, played squash, lifted weights, did some pilates, and, oh yeah, actually practiced law for money.

If it weren't for the headache, I think I could be convinced that sleep is over rated.

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We, as Americans, are kind of misunderstood on the world stage, I think. The world thinks that we are nasty imperialists, bent on spreading our revolution by hook or by crook throughout the world. Maybe. I personally think that the world would be a better place for it but you can't make a retarded mule into a race horse, no matter what kind of saddle you put on him. That's all an aside. No, I think that the world misapprehends our nature. We, as Americans, are more likely to tend towards the isolationist than the imperialist. We prefer, as we showed in the aftermath of WW I, to withdraw into the comfort of our vast nation and let the rest of the world go on its merry way.

Look at some of our national icons for illustration. The lonely rancher, battling against the weather and the odds. Ralph Waldo Emerson Thoureau*, in splendid isolation up on Walden Pond (a lovely place to visit, by the way). The heroic sea captains, cut off from civilization. Astronauts, can't get any more away from it all than that. The list goes on and includes individuals doing individual things.

No, we like our privacy. Even Alexis de Tocqueville talked about our tendency to withdraw from society and the only thing that could bring us out was our self interest properly understood when we would join together into voluntary association in order to better govern ourselves or accomplish a limited task.

But privacy is something that cannot really be taken for granted. I am, sad to say, not a scholar of privacy rights. I am not even sure I understand anymore what privacy really means. If it means a right to go unmolested in your own home, absent a compelling reason or showing by the government, then I understand that. If it extends to your car, as an extension of your domicile, than I understand that perhaps a little less well. Does it extend to your communications? Sort of, I suppose. I guess it extends to those communications in which you have a reasonable expectation of privacy.

Only, how reasonable is the expectation? No one, for instance, expects that a post card is private. Everyone expects that a private letter or a telephone conversation on a land line will remain private, again without a compelling reason otherwise. As for the rest, it becomes a bit more opaque.

Unless, of course, you serve on a corporate board. Or, to digress for a second, you enter a store which posts a sign that all persons entering consent to search of their bags. I hate that one, personally, and do not know what the Constitutional staus of such a warning is. I was never much of a Constitutional scholar in law school, I confess.

But back to the board. Let's say you serve on a board. Beware the phone taps. It looks like a lot of people over at Hewlett Packard are going to get into major trouble for tapping the phone lines of their board members to try to discover who was leaking information to the press. Interestingly enough, though, the stock price has remained flat during this period. That signals that no one in the market seems to care and that you can expect this not to touch HP's strong profits or results.

Let's say you serve on a board and are tempted to do this, to tap phones and spy on people. Let me make it easy for you to figure out whether you should do this or not. And I have to make it easy, since I have already explained that I am no Constitutional scholar. If you are thinking about invading the opaque area of another person's privacy, take the Talking Heads test. Ask yourself, seeking guidance from the masters, do I pass the following test:

We got computers, we're tapping phone lines
I know that ain't allowed

(Source: Life During Wartime)

If the Talking Heads tell you that it ain't allowed, then you should know that your contemplated actions will most likely not pass Constitutional muster. And if you are thinking of using a computer while doing so, well, that ain't allowed either.

I hope that this helps clear up some fundamental misunderstandings about America and your right to privacy as an American (assuming you, gentle reader, are an American).

If you are not an American, by the way, and, say, you are an Italian. Well, don't worry about the Talking Head test because you have no right to privacy at all while conducting private conversations, as the recent scandal with Telecom Italia has shown:

On Friday September 22nd, as details emerged of the scope of an alleged espionage operation run from inside Telecom Italia (TI), the countryÂ’s cabinet approved a decree to limit the practice.

* * *

The targets of the spying operation apparently included many of ItalyÂ’s elite, including leading businessmen, bankers, sports figures, celebrities and politicians. But the true extent may never be known. According to reports, most of the records were destroyed after the information had been passed on.

Up to 500 people are reported to have been involved in the snooping, which began in 1997 according to investigators. But what was it all for? The investigators claim to have established links between the TI operation, a private security firm whose boss was a friend of Mr Tavaroli and the state intelligence apparatus, where he also had acquaintances. Some of the spying was done for clients of the security firm and some at the request of the government's own spies.

From the Economist, which is subscription only, so no link.

* Thanks to Tuning Spork for the kind correction.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:51 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 About the isolationist bit - isn't that one of the reasons why all these different groups came to America (ok, the first groups, like the pilgrims, not so much the melting pot people later) in the first place? So they could do their own thing? Have their own privacy? Living in Europe and hearing the constant cracks against the US, I sometimes wonder if there weren't enough times that the US could have left things alone. In Europe, the US is often seen as a big bully ...

Posted by: Hannah at September 27, 2006 01:01 AM (ImQx2)

2 wonder if there weren't enough times that the US could have left things alone In the past when we did that, the euros managed to manufacture a few nasty world wars when we had our backs turned ;->

Posted by: Purple Avenger at September 27, 2006 11:46 AM (ZVOjz)

3 If I'm not mistaken, phone conversations in MS can be recorded as long as one party knows of the recording. I was in a business meeting one time where my bosses recorded the phone conversation without informing the other party. To this day, I have zero respect for any of them.

Posted by: Howard at September 27, 2006 03:50 PM (u2JaN)

4 Just as an aside, it was Thoureau who went to Walden Pond, not Emerson.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 27, 2006 03:54 PM (rJ4mA)

5 D'oh! I knew that, TS, really, I did. Thanks for pointing out the mistake. I will correct it immediately.

Posted by: rp at September 28, 2006 08:26 AM (LlPKh)

6 Since that HP story came out, I've wondered more about the morality on display than the privacy violations. I'll admit that in some ways this means that I'm taking the privacy violations for granted, but still...I don't know that that's the interesting story here. Here you have a board member/leaker who claimed they were leaking information because they were concerned about the direction the board was taking HP, when they knew the information was confidential and would have very serious ramifications on the stock price. THEN you have the search for the leaker, and all the illegality therein. In an effort to highlight the wrongdoing of the latter, it seems as if the former has been pushed aside---or that it was excusable simply under the impression that all whistleblowers are good. I find it curious, to say the least.

Posted by: Kathy at September 28, 2006 01:59 PM (8UK8L)

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In case you were wondering, I am still breathing. I think. I mean, the chest is still moving, but that might just be from the production of nasty green stuff. The kids have gone back to school, the Girl Child has a tiny, little sniffle. I have the plague. The Viking Bride may be the next to fall.

In the meantime, I have new clients to tend to and to nurture and old clients to fix. Fix? Well, what else do you call it when you are at a trial and your client testifies on direct examination so differently and so significantly differently from what he told you would be his testimony that you ask the judge for a continuance so you can re-organize your presentation. In the face of stiff opposition, since the other side smelled blood, I actually got the continuance.

So, while trying to fix that, I got a new client -- the brightest most successful guy I know. And he has a big problem. If not handled right, it would be a regulatory problem. Ugly. Then, in the middle of all this, the senior partner comes in and says, what do you know about the rights of a New York corporation to issue new shares of stock and dilute the holdings, as a consequence, of a minority shareholder. Well, I've been busy finding out.

Lunch was taken at 2:30 today. I feel fortunate to have been able to find time to eat at all.

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In a sort of vaguely chronological order, I am going to recap the highlights of the last couple of days.

* The power failed in our little Connecticut hamlet again. I have begun to expect the power to fail when so much as someone sneezes near the utility poles. We were without electricity from about noon on Saturday to 4:22 a.m. on Monday morning. Hence, no blogging, of course. Most of Sunday was spent at my parents, where we hastened to in a successful attempt to preserve all of the expressed breast milk in the freezer and fridge. I am waiting to hear from the power system backup people to find out how much a backup system will cost. I am fine with throwing out a fridge or freezer full of food from time to time. Really, I have become resigned to that. What worries me more is the loss of power and thus heat in the dead of winter, when my pipes might just freeze up as a result. That is what terrifies me the most. So, I may be writing a big old check now to avoid writing several big old checks later.

* The Girl Child has commenced kindergarten with no small amount of trepidation. I made her lunch on Monday night for her first day on Tuesday. I cooked, a lot. I made a roast beef and also roasted a turkey breast and some chicken breasts so that she would have yummy, homemade lunch. A lunch made with love. I told her this and she insisted I blow a kiss into the ziplock bag. I think she understood entirely.

* The school bus was scary. We walked down our very long driveway to where the bus would pick her up, trying not to trip on the detritus from the recent storm -- all of the dead branches and twigs. The bus arrived and she took a step back, saying: "That bus is full of big kids! This isn't a little kid bus!" But I urged her on just the same, telling her that it would be fine and she had practiced taking the bus and was absolutely ready. She sort of squared her shoulders, her little back up hanging down her back, and off she went up into the bus. She found a seat next to window towards the back, which is where she had hoped to sit and looked out at me. We waved to each other. The bus left. I did not cry, although it was a very close thing.

* I spoke to her after she arrived home and confirmed that all of her fears were for naught. She had a wonderful time, had no problems finding her way to her classroom ("all by myself, Pappa!"), had no problems getting on the right bus to come home -- although some other child blew it, much to her amazement, had and enjoyed her lunch (insisting that I prepare the same thing for the next day for her), and came home with a present from her teacher -- a new book. When I asked her if she was reading it now, she told me no, that she was "experiencing some of my old stuff right now". I see. I sent a note back today to her teacher to thank her for making the Girl Child's first day so wonderful.

* I had a follow up appointment with the urologist for him to examine the fishing tackle. A word of caution. Let's say you get the occasional migraine from time to time. You know the kind, the ones that make you vomit because the pain gets so bad. Let's say that you get one of those just as you leave the office to go see the doctor. You try to sleep on the train on the way out to Greenwich and you sort of succeed but the pain doesn't retreat. You are in full blown migraine without pain killers by the time you have your appointment. Given the vomiting thing, I caution you never, ever let a urologist manipulate your testicles, no matter how gently or professionally done. There just is no way that can help the nasua.

* I got a clean bill of health from the doctor and am feeling remarkably more chipper down south. The pain is way down to just the occasional twinge and the swelling is mostly gone. Up north, however, the migraine lingers today, even though I blasted it yesterday with tylenol and took a two hour nap when I got home. The journey home was not fun. Thrashing around on the bed, moaning, while waiting for the tylenol to kick in was also not fun.

* As I said, the migraine lingers. I know this because my speech is slightly impaired and I can feel the thing lurking at the back of my head. I'm off to take more tylenol now. I wish you all a happy day.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:22 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 Hey RP! I did a bit of back reading... geez time flies! Glad to hear you are OK...

Posted by: zya at September 06, 2006 12:31 PM (GOFVL)

2 In addition to Imitrex without which I would not survive the changing seasons, I recommend Gravol (I don't know what you Americans call it) for nausea and vomiting. And ginger tea is good too if you can face swallowing anything during an attack. As always, thanks for sharing your children with us. I flashed back to putting my son on the school bus for the first time 25 years ago and how brave we both were!

Posted by: Jocelyn at September 06, 2006 12:44 PM (jkRb/)

3 At the risk of this coming off badly. . . I blow a kiss in your Ziplock bag in hopes the rest of your day goes better. That little girl is such a treasure! (And I mean that all with the innocence of your five year-old. Swear.)

Posted by: Margi at September 06, 2006 01:28 PM (gtpvj)

4 ah man... you had to bring this all back into my head! I swear yesterday I was brining her to Kindergarten, and today starts first grade. Way too fast.

Posted by: Joe Flirt at September 07, 2006 07:47 AM (Bgi4X)

5 Good for the GC! I hope you feel 100% better soon, doesn't sound like much fun...

Posted by: Hannah at September 07, 2006 03:16 PM (ImQx2)

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I did not go to the office today. I gather that, all predictions to the contrary, they appear to be muddling through without me. Indeed, I am not even sure they noticed I was gone.

Seriously, I decided not to go in today since the pain and the swelling both appear to be receding. This is good news and I thought it was better not to push it.

I did have to go out, yesterday, to take the Girl Child to her open classroom at the kindergarten where we met her new teacher and some of her classmates. I thought she was doing just fine about it all but there were some anxieties that came out later. She came into the baby's room after we put her to bed and said to my wife: "Mama, I can't sleep, I'm thinking about kindergarten and I have some . . . concerns." She then enumerated them for my wife, including concerns about the bus, about making friends, about lunch, etc. We tried our best to allay her concerns but I think that it will simply take time. She's going to do just fine.

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I have spent the day zonked out on pain killers -- floating in and out of sleep, in and out of pain. When not zonked, I read a Clive Cussler book. I picked it up just before V-Day when I figured I needed something mindless to read whilst recovering. Even the Percoset could not make Mr. Cussler's novel readable. It was a disaster. I implore you never to read anything by him, ever again. The only good thing about the book was the picture on the back cover of his pretty classic cars.

On the other hand, I heartily recommend Mr. Fick's book: One Bullet Away, the story of Mr. Fick's time as a Marine officer serving in the Iraqi and Afganhi campaigns. He signed up after graduation from Dartmouth with a degree in classics and ended up a Captain in Force Recon. Well written and very hard to put down.

I will resume my drug induced haze shortly. Thanks for continuing to stop by, check in, and leave your much appreciated comments.

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All I'm good for is a quick pop in visit to clear my email and make sure nothing exploded on my desk in the past couple of days. I slept the entire train ride into Grand Central today. Thank you, Codeine! That was the only positive thing I can mention. I am going back to see the doctor again. I am not at all certain that things are progressing as they are supposed to. In fact, as the bruising appears to be getting worse -- darker and more extensive -- I am concerned that I may be bleeding internally still. So, off I go again.

Thanks for all the nice comments y'all have left. Even if I have not replied to them, I have read them all and appreciated each one of them.

U P D A T E

The doctor said that I am in the 5-10% of those who experience these kinds of reactions. Not to worry, he claims. It will all clear up in time. Of course, I have to go back next week. In the meantime, the nice doctor has upped the painkillers from codeine to percoset. Boy oh boy, that percoset is much stronger.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:20 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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It has all become clear to me now. A vasectomy is reliable contraception because you never, ever want to have anyone (not even yourself) touch your genital area ever again. Oh, and the whole area looks so icky that probably no one ever would want to touch it anyway, even presuming you'd be willing to let them, which you would most emphatically would not.

I spoke to the doctor today. He kindly called me back very quickly at 12:30 after I called him at 8:30. I wanted to know if the debilitating pain I felt between the lowest abs and the genitals was normal and why I was getting this huge black and blue mark pretty much all over the place. Turns out it is. Who knew?

I will be amazed if I feel well enough to return to the office tomorrow.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:06 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 Patience my friend, it has to look worse before it looks better. Trust me, I used to assist in the procedure. Rest assured, you will want to use the area again soon. Hang in there ( no pun intended! - well maybe just a little bit)

Posted by: Wicked H at August 28, 2006 08:49 AM (iqFar)

2 Ouch, yeah, it goes away, but I found that the first couple days frozen cooked pasta was my friend. I don't really get it though, I know guys who went back to work the next day.. either they have nuts of steel or their surgery went better than mine. Tight supportive underwear is the trick with the pain below your lower abs. I bought some tighty whiteys that were black and were too small for me, they seemed to be adequate. I made the mistake of not wearing them soon enough though... don't make that mistake

Posted by: Oorgo at August 28, 2006 10:45 AM (2uqyw)

3 Feel better soon!

Posted by: Kiddoc at August 28, 2006 04:47 PM (/CsH5)

4 Awww, nuts. :-(

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 29, 2006 02:05 AM (wcXuw)

5 I really do hope you feel better soon.

Posted by: michele at August 29, 2006 09:17 AM (V2ALs)

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Ok, briefly, it hurts. And I've learned that there is no way I am ever going to allow myself to be talked into having someone cut my body open to "fix" something that works exactly as it is supposed to be working ever again. The swelling, the continuing to bleed a little bit from one of the incisions, the pain, and the side effects. What side effects? Well, I'm trying to figure this one out but the Cipro apparently can really upset your stomach while the Tylenol with Codeine claims to give you constipation. The two little pills are fighting it out right now, I gather.

Yup, a whole lot of fun here.

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1 Sweetie I know it hurts BUT you did what had to be done. And yes I am going to pull out the gender card - think back to what your wife has been through and in comparison, your hurt well, it will soon be over. That all aside - glad your through it ok and hope that you are back on form again soon.

Posted by: Mia at August 26, 2006 06:40 AM (Ryxbd)

2 Yikes! So, is it like eating an entire box of spoon-sized shredded wheat with a bottle of prune juice? Hope the swelling and ouchies pass more (or less?) quicklier.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 26, 2006 01:19 PM (hcgbs)

3 Oy vey! :-) Feel better soon, you.

Posted by: Jennifer at August 27, 2006 02:31 PM (CEc5z)

4 I will not be letting my husband read any of these recent posts. Four children is my limit and it is now his turn to do something about it. In fairness to him though, he actually scheduled an appointment with the urologist all on his own for a few months after the newest kidlet arrives. But I'm still not letting him read any of this. I hope you start to feel better soon.

Posted by: Jordana at August 28, 2006 03:59 PM (qH5KP)

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This phrase, in the title, is the phrase commonly uttered by American Jewish boys on the occasion of their bar mitzvah. The bar mitzvah is the traditional manhood test in Judaism. You stand in front of your community and you prove to your community that you are literate and that you either have an understanding of the laws of the community or can acquire such an understanding. It is a literacy test that, when passed, confers the status of adult on the test taker. If you can understand and follow the laws, you are no longer a child and you will be held accountable for your conduct. Hence, the statement, "today, I am a man."

This phrase came back to me today as I await tomorrow when I am scheduled to have a vasectomy. I was wondering, as I kicked the thought around, do I say tomorrow that now that I can no longer father children, "today, I am somewhat less of a man"?

I don't know the answer. The reasons for having this procedure, which I am dreading, having never really had any surgical intervention before, are easily set out: my wife really must not fall pregnant again. And as the urologist and I discussed, we need a foolproof method. Actually, we had the following interchange:

Doc: What kind of birth control are you currently using?

Me: Well, I have been trying to convince my wife of the benefits of "oral contraception", if you know what I mean.

Doc: *Loud Snort* Please. You're married. That's never gonna happen.

I don't personally feel his medical judgment is binding or even ought to be considered by my wife, but just the same, there it is.

So, I await the chop tomorrow with great anxiety and no small amount of unhappiness. I've been very happy over the years with the way my plumbing has been configured. I am struggling to accept the need to re-arrange it. One, I am not big on pain. Two, well, do I need a two beyond pain? If there is a two, it might involve strange, sensitive, and not too deeply examined issues of self-image.

This has been the medical attention week. I saw the urologist on Monday, the annual check up on Wednesday, the dentist on Wednesday, and then I will have the big chop on Friday. In anticipation, I also had a haircut. There were thoughts of Samson, in part. Also, I wanted to have short hair if I was not going to be able to wash it for a day or two. The doctor yesterday, by the way, gave me a nice clean bill of health, subject only to the blood test results. In anticipation of that, I carefully broke my fast after that first Wednesday appointment with a 10:00 a.m. big old serving of onion rings covered in chili and melted cheese. Food of the Gods, my friends, and vouchsafed only to those deserving souls who either have low cholesterol already or those who donÂ’t know what their test results are but want to stock up on the yummy fat, salt, and grease in case of a result that would suggest such happy food is contraindicated.

I do hope tomorrow goes ok and that I do not get any of the complications the urologist described in too gruesome a detail.

But before that, I will be dining with wife and friends tonight at a classic old New York steakhouse where I will prepare for the snipping with rare meat and red wine. However, and I am not saying IÂ’m compensating for anything here, and shame on you if you think that, I am going to hit the gym and lift a lot of weight. At least two of the three sets of chest press with the 75 pound dumb bells. Not compensating at all, ok?

Anyway, have a nice weekend, y'all. If you need me, I'll be the guy on the couch with the icepack. I plan on being whiny, a little bit, too. Just because.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:18 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 I'd say I'll be thinking of you, but that, um just doesn't sound right. So good luck.

Posted by: phin at August 24, 2006 02:25 PM (1IA+t)

2 Good luck my friend. I've known several guys who have had it done and all went well.

Posted by: Howard at August 24, 2006 02:39 PM (IB1mQ)

3 RP I think this makes you more, not less of a man. Another blogger friend 'just' went through the big snip and apparently you *have* to have sex as part of the healing process. At least that's what he told his wife...

Posted by: Jocelyn at August 24, 2006 03:50 PM (jkRb/)

4 Hey, so you decided to do it! You read my story, hopefully that doesn't scare you too much, but take heed: when they say shave, SHAVE! Oh, and another tip: supportive underwear is not a suggestion, it's a requirement Sex is definitely part of the healing process, you know... gotta flush the pipes.

Posted by: Oorgo at August 24, 2006 04:28 PM (2uqyw)

5 We'll be thinking of you tomorrow. Good luck, and here's to good pain meds! BTW, I am also a big fan of the chili-cheese onion ring.....

Posted by: caltechgirl at August 24, 2006 07:37 PM (/vgMZ)

6 Good luck to you, my friend. Ouch.

Posted by: Jennifer at August 24, 2006 08:09 PM (CEc5z)

7 I know of two guys my age who went through the big cut. Both are free of further offspring. Some bits of advice: (1) Shave. (2) After things heal up a bit, your shaved places will start to itch quite a bit. Try to convince your wife that "oral contraception" would be helpful in your time of need. (3) Do get your sperm count tested afterwards; confirm that the little boys aren't making a break for freedom.

Posted by: owlish at August 24, 2006 08:30 PM (JS704)

8 I'll got no advice to add, just best wishes. As far as the whole "less of a man" thing, I can understand where you're coming from. The only analogy I seem to keep coming up with is Dave Dravecky. Not sure why...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 25, 2006 01:39 AM (a3DAX)

9 Good luck, my friend.

Posted by: Robert the Llama Butcher at August 25, 2006 09:49 AM (IkTb7)

10 Good luck; I've been there. The ice pack is your friend. My recovery would have been completely painless if I hadn't had a violent allergic reaction to the opiate-based painkillers (no codeine, morphine, vicodin, or percocet for me, ever again). Once I got over the chills and dry heaves, I realized it didn't hurt down there at all. Definitely be sure to go in for the post-op counts until the reading is zero. I feel no less manly now than before (it's been 6.5 years).

Posted by: JohnL at August 25, 2006 10:53 AM (Hs4rn)

11 Prayers and positive thoughts going your way!

Posted by: michele at August 25, 2006 01:38 PM (DPFIK)

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I'm pretty sure that Hallmark doesn't have a card for this situation. Let's say, hypothetically (or not), you have a friend. You've kind of lost touch. You happen to pick up the paper. You see your friend quoted extensively. You read the article and figure out that he's being quoted because his $430 million hedge fund just blew up (that's business speak for went bust). You want to send him a note, something along the lines of it will all be ok in the end but you're not quite sure what to say. Hallmark is not an alternative.

What would you write? I am curious. I did drop him a note telling him that I expect that this will turn out, in the years to come, to have been simply a hiccup in a successful career.

Man, how do you lose $400 plus million.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 12:58 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Suggestion One: Go to a meeting to plan a dinner for 100 people. Taste the menu. Determine which wines work best with which courses. In doing so, try three whites with the appetizer and two reds with the main course. Go back to work.

I am very tired all of a sudden.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:46 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I like it fast and hard. Not a lot of pauses. I like it when you're going so hard that your glasses fog up, when the sweat is dripping down your face. I like it when you have to stretch yourself into positions you never thought you could contort yourself into under the circumstances as you streeeetch. You have to do it with a partner, of course. That's what makes it fun. The sharing of the time and the striving against each other.

I'm talking about squash of course. I played this morning.

Boy have I missed playing squash. I just didn't realize. I took quite a break for several years as I let my elbow heal up. There's just somethinga about the game that is so seductive. The pace is fast, the angles are acute, the shots have to be just so and controlled, all while running around the court, and the reflexes have to be sharp. Oh, and you have to think and react. Damn, but it is fun.

There is another racquet game I would like to play. Ever hear of Court Tennis? Or Real Tennis? It is the game from which regular tennis evolved. There are not a lot of courts in this country. I can think of one in NYC, one in Philly, one in Rhode Island, and one in Tuxedo Park, off the top of my head.

Competition is good. I have been jazzed all day.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:40 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 "Squash" huh? Suddenly, I've a mind to call my husband and see if we can take the afternoon off.

Posted by: Margi at August 18, 2006 12:46 PM (xiAI4)

2 I've made some great friends playing squash. It is an intense game in an enclosed space and I get more out of a 45 minute match than when I'm working out by some other means. You can tell a lot about someone about how they - and the opponents I like best are like opposing counsel I like best - they play hard, play to win but don't argue lets if you call them. :-) PS: Haven't posted for ages but have continued to read your blog. Life seems great for you and yours - it has been fun watching and reading.

Posted by: Vanya at August 18, 2006 08:46 PM (xy2ZU)

3 I thought squash was only in Europe? You're the first American that I've heard talk about it .... is it hard on the knees and wrists?

Posted by: Hannah at August 20, 2006 02:08 AM (ImQx2)

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What follows is an email I received from my wife which I thought was so funny, I had to share it.

Epistles from Bridgeport

Out getting lunch today, I had the following experiences, which, to me, encapsulate Bridgeport fairly well.

*Overheard from late-20’s woman in jeans, t-shirt, and knit vest while she was chatting on her cell phone: “Well, I’m off to parole and then I’m going home.” Perhaps she was talking with her partner in crime?

*As I continued walking down the block, I saw 2 nubile blondes talking to a middle-aged hispanic man. They were asking, “on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love the Lord?” He was looking confused.

*Farther down the block, a mid-50’s woman in a skirt and cardigan made eye contact with me. Sensing she may have some connection to the nubile blondes, I decided that really, I didn’t feel like engaging in conversation about my love of the Lord. So when she volunteers “My name is Claire”, I respond “How nice for you” as I cross to the other side of the street.

She cracks me up, my wife.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:20 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Snort out loud funny!

Posted by: Wicked H at August 16, 2006 07:44 AM (iqFar)

2 very funy indeed. I can easily see why the children are so mumerous! ;-)

Posted by: michele at August 16, 2006 11:12 PM (k5fMO)

3 Yep. That's my hometown. There are plenty of whackadoodles around, but they're generally really good people.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at August 17, 2006 12:34 AM (dzyCi)

4 "How nice for you," indeed! Lovely woman, your wife!

Posted by: Margi at August 18, 2006 01:07 PM (GMbAY)

5 Evangelicals, cringe...

Posted by: Andrew Cusack at August 18, 2006 11:50 PM (GfMLg)

6 I'm starting to consciously realize that the best way to get around in the city without being asked ... - For a cigarette/lighter - Money - If I want information about being a Christian - If I want to be a donator for - fill in charitable organisation here - ... is to simply avoid eye contact. But I don't like doing it. So am I rude that I'm avoid eye contact or are these people being rude? Or should I keep working on my fantasy of living somewhere in northern Canada?

Posted by: Hannah at August 20, 2006 02:11 AM (ImQx2)

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I think that since we've had a third child, my life has narrowed quite a bit. I am less concerned with the outside world since I am just trying to hold it all together, kind of on the fly, at home and at work. No matter how bad I have it, of course, my wife has it way worse. No question about it, she rocks.

But, back to me. Like I was saying, my focus has narrowed. I have less energy to devote to thinking about world affairs, about politics, about international relations, about international and even domestic economics. So, of course, I write less about it here. Instead, the home front, the kids, my wife, my health, working out, my weekends, all of these things take on much greater significance. I think, perhaps, just maybe, I am beginning to entertain the possibility that I am losing my perspective a bit.

Also, I have to say, that whenever I do focus on the news, I am disappointed. Lamont over Lieberman? Really? The idea that Israel should not have the right even to exist? Really? Can you blame me, at some level, for not pushing too hard to escape this narrowing of focus?

Either way, that's where I seem to be right now.

So, the weekend had a lot of highlights and almost no lowlights.

* Seeing old friends for dinner on Friday night and watching the moon rise, fat and orange, over Long Island as we sat out on a terrace on the water.

* Playing with the kids at the pool.

* Sitting outside on the deck with my family and my parents, drinking a bottle of rose prosecco, as we celebrated their 41st wedding anniversary.

* Taking a solitary dip in the ocean while my daughter waited for me, happily ensconced on a towel in the sand on Sunday.

* Taking my non-napping daughter to see some open houses. She insisted on seeing all the bathrooms and closets, objected to the lack of bookshelves in the library, and was concerned about how to fit a kitchen table and chairs in one house. Interesting to see what $3 million can buy, though. Theoretically, that is, since I don't have and don't expect to have that kind of cash to spend on a house.

* Making the baby laugh.

All of the above are high points. There were certainly more. But with the sleep deprivation comes the loss of memory. So, there.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:43 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I think that my brain is sending me a signal, a message, a sign. There can be no clearer indication that you want to replace your 1995 Subaru (with 97,000 miles on it) with a new BMW when you find yourself deeply immersed in a dream in which you are, and probably have been for quite some time in the dream, reading the owner's manual on a new BMW 525xi at 4:40 a.m. when your alarm wakes you. And you were jotting down points during your dream so you could follow up on them later.

I'm hoping by noting this here I will purge myself of this. Futile? Perhaps, but one must try.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:57 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I've been in and out of trial all week. The first day, sort of, was Monday. We showed up and the court had us hang out for a really long time before telling us he couldn't take us that day. We arranged to come back the next day and to continue on Thursday if need be. This was good. This left me with an entire afternoon all to myself as I had zero intention of driving back to CT from White Plains to then go into the City by train.

So, I met up with Robbo who was on his way to his secret Llama Vacation Destination ("LVD") at a barge/bar on the Saugatuck River. It was really lovely. The meeting, that is, not the bar, although the bar was just fine. We hung out for around 3 hours, drinking beer, eating fried shrimp and chicken wings, and sharing stories and confirming similar outlooks and viewpoints. I hope that we get a chance to hook up again on his way back from the LVD. It would be fun to get the families together and drink a little tequila. Or a lot. Whatever happens.

It was really grand, our afternoon together.

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Silence continues here, more or less unabated. I am in trial in one of the surrounding counties. Off to catch a train in a few moments. Gotta love these intra-family disputes in these close corporations. Vicious.

I'll report back, probably tomorrow. I spent a lovely 2 1/2 hours with Robbo the Llama Butcher yesterday. No full report forthcoming as I fully intend to protect his privacy and secret identity, but perhaps a mini-report.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:21 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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