On the squash court today, one guy said, "whoa, look at these wheels!", after he made a particularly good get. I said, "must be those little chocolate donuts for breakfast".

Remember that?

If not:

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:40 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 52 words, total size 1 kb.

Here's a question for all of you more socially couth people out there: how do you handle the situation where a guest to your home for a meal brings with him a bottle of wine? You've planned your menu and you have, hopefully, purchased wine that will harmonize pleasantly with what you will be serving. Your guest brings a wine that pleases him greatly and he wants to share it with you. Or, he just brings something because he doesn't want to show up empty handed. Either way, you may not know the difference. Now, what do you do? Do you open the wine, thus perhaps upsetting the balance you've tried to strike? Do you just thank the guest, and put the wine away? I never know how to handle this. I was confronted by both situations yesterday.

We entertained my pilates class friends at the house. Our class has shrunk to three, including me, and I invited the other two and their significant others and the instructor and her significant other, out to the house for lunch yesterday. I determined that what I really wanted to prepare, other than grilled veggies and assorted cold salads, was chili-cheese burgers and so I did. I selected a Spanish white that was from close to the French border and was 30% Gewürztraminer, a grape that can stand up to spicy food. I bought six bottles and chilled them all.

Lunch was a great success and indeed did not break up until about 5:45, thus requiring me to cancel our dinner engagement. My wife wouldn't let me throw everyone out.

I put all the wine into the fridge and served the first three bottles of my wine, which went just as well as I had hoped it would. Then, for the fourth bottle, we opened a really grand unfiltered rose that one guest brought. He had tasted it and thought we would love it. Clearly, it needed to be open. We drank that one sitting in the garden while watching the children play as some smoked cigars (I passed this time).

I didn't open any guest wine during the meal and happily we had need of more wine after lunch. If not, I am not sure what I would have done.

What would you do?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:40 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
Post contains 386 words, total size 2 kb.

1 Etiquette states that guests who bring wine are not supposed to expect the wine to be opened on the spot - it's supposed to be for the host(s) to enjoy another time. As far as I know, it's the host's choice if they want to use it at that time but certainly shouldn't feel required to.

Posted by: Hannah at August 13, 2007 11:42 AM (lUH62)

2 A bottle of wine brought to the house is a gift for the host(s). Depending on the situation, I may or may not open it. If I have planned wines, as you did, I will put it aside either for us to enjoy later, or to share with guests over conversation after the meal. If I haven't planned a particular wine, then I'm more than happy to open it. If the person who brought it asks about it, then I'll open it and serve it along with whatever I have, and give the guests a choice of either or both. We're pretty relaxed about that kind of thing. I do make a point of telling the giver how much I liked it, or at least, how much I appreciated the gift. Especially if I save it for later.

Posted by: caltechgirl at August 13, 2007 12:00 PM (/vgMZ)

3 Man, I really wish I could help with this, but sadly I can't. Its not that I haven't run into this situation, its just that there isn't much of a need in trying to decide which flavor of MadDog 20/20 to start with. So, we drink the bottle the guest brought, then start in on my stash. The situation changes though if Thunderbird is the wine being provided by the host. You always start with the Thunderchicken, same goes for Night-train...

Posted by: phin at August 13, 2007 01:54 PM (CQcil)

4 Note to self: if having Phin over for dinner, ask him to bring flowers. I have not had the pleasure, such as it is, of MadDog 20/20 since college and I actually only recall that I drank it and nothing more comes to mind.

Posted by: rp at August 13, 2007 02:53 PM (op1yW)

5 Since I run a small winery and my daughter runs our tasting room and our son-in-law-to-be is part owner-and-manager of two huge wine & spirits stores and our daughter-in-law-to-be works for a winery too... This happens a LOT with us when we have guests over, as you might imagine. Almost everyone we know socially are in the restaurant or winery industries. I play it by ear; if they bring something that might go well with what we had planned to serve, I'll open it. If not, or if it's something I just don't want to open, I gush over it and, while winking at the guests who brought it, stage whisper I will be saving it for another time when Dan & and I can enjoy it together. Sometimes the guests insist we save it and sometimes the guests insist we open it, thus taking it out of my hands entirely. And that's fine with me. Nobody seem to get upset about it, whatever we do or don't do. After all, it's WINE! Now, how can anyone get upset about something so fabulous?

Posted by: Amber at August 14, 2007 10:05 AM (zQE5D)

6 I have issues with this one, and that's mainly because I have red wine junkies for friends and I can't drink the stuff as I'm allergic to the tannins. As such, I generally bring a bottle of chardonnay with me, so that I have something to drink if they didn't get one. I can't expect them to remember every little thing and I wouldn't want them to. This way, if they did remember, they get to expand the very limited white sections of their respective wine cellars. If they didn't, they can open the bottle and I'll have something alcoholic to drink, and so perhaps will other people who would also like a glass of white wine. And if they choose not to open it at all, I will happily drink whatever they have that's not red wine and I won't raise a fuss about it. In other words, it's up to the guest to be gracious about this, not the host. The host has other things to worry about, and anyone who raises a stink about their wine not being opened is someone Emily Post should come back from the dead and bitchslap for having poor manners. If it's a gift, it's up to the recipient to use it as they will, not for the guest to tell the host what they should or should not do in their home, at their party.

Posted by: Kathy at August 14, 2007 12:13 PM (sUnJj)

7 When my guests bring wine, we just shove the box in the fridge and save it for later.

Posted by: Howard at August 14, 2007 03:14 PM (u2JaN)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I have been ruminating a bit on the credit crisis engulfing the markets. I have been reading books and academic papers of late concerning valuation of collateralized debt obligations and mortgage backed securities for a couple of months now. I have been discussing the problems faced by traders and investors in marking portfolios to market and marking portfolios to model and what happens when there is a real contradiction between the model and the market. I have been doing this because I am a geek and I find the structured finance side of the market, and the implications on leverage and the implications leverage has on liquidity, to be utterly fascinating. You should, too, by the way.

One of the issues I think is most interesting is that the models created by hedge funds or by structured financial products traders rarely actually accurately models a total melt down. The models, take Bear Stearns recent debacle, probably did include the possibility that the exotic securities they were trading could go totally south, but the humans doing the trades and making the investments in the funds would have discounted that possibility down to very little if not nothing.

That's what we humans do. We make plans but we cannot honestly confront a worst case scenario. That's why we call it a worst case. We give it that name and that assume that the probability of it taking place is not worth discussing. I think it is human nature. We don't actually assign a real probability factor to the problem posed by the worst case. I think that the only place humans do this is with regard to estate planning. We know we're going to die so we make plans for that worst case scenario. But not everyone does this, you know, and not everyone who does do it can successfully contemplate the worst case scenario posed by their own certain mortality and do it efficiently and correctly.

We don't like to think about bad endings. Or monsters, come to think of it. But I think that they both exist.

No, human beings plan for the middle and include slight deviations from the middle. Some really smart humans can plan for volatility but even that will remain within artificially set expectation bounds so that when the volatility surpasses those bounds, trouble can result.

Where am I going with this?

I'm not 100% sure. Maybe I am just going with the thought that I have to be a better planner. I have to take disaster planning more seriously, for instance. I, and many others, will discount the possibility of a catastrophic disaster down to zero and stop thinking about it even though we know that power failures, for instance, can last days.

We plan not with our intellects but with our emotions.

I think it is time to take the emotional out of the planning stage.

It is time to contemplate both the worst case downside scenario and the best case upside scenario for this family corporation I am an officer of and start to plan accordingly even if the business and financing climate has changed. This is different from lawyer think and legal analysis. It is going to be an interesting exercise.

Oh, and I really have to finalize our wills.

You should, too.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:41 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 559 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Sage advice, as usual.

Posted by: Wicked H at August 10, 2007 02:44 PM (zOWa5)

2 Sounds complicated Should I even be thinking about a will at the tender age of almost 23?

Posted by: Hannah at August 10, 2007 03:09 PM (lUH62)

3 Great advice rp. Hannah, If nothing else you should have a living will that explains your views on life support, heroic measures, etc... This way people aren't left having to make a decision they "think" you would want. Main reason I have one is I don't want my family to have to decide whether or not to pull the plug. Kind of morbid thoughts at 23, but things happen.

Posted by: phin at August 10, 2007 03:30 PM (CQcil)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I was chatting today with one of my partners at work and we were discussing a dream I have long held of visiting all of the UNESCO World Heritage sites. [Political digression: the United Nations does not care to acknowledge that Jerusalem is in Israel. Israel has several sites but Jerusalem is the only city that gets listed without a country designation, other than that it was suggested by Jordan. Jordan behaved shockingly badly until the Israelis threw them out of Jerusalem. Bluntly, the United Nations is a nest of anti-semites. End digression]

So we pulled the list up together and reviewed. I have been to 48 of them. It feels like a lot but I suspect many of you will have been to many more. Check the list out and let me know how you did?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:53 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
Post contains 82 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Uhhh, forty-eight is a lot. I've been to three. Sigh. I need to get out more.

Posted by: Kathy at August 03, 2007 10:53 PM (ufifB)

2 I've been to 21 of them, although the numbers are going to be higher for anyone who's been to several major tourist sites in the U.K. That said, wow--some of those places sure are out of the way.

Posted by: Jeff at August 04, 2007 02:40 AM (3q8gx)

3 I've been to 90, which seems show offy, but when you look at the whole list, it is shameful how small my list is. I'm good on the UK, Italy, North America and France, Mexico and Spain. But there is so much of Asia, Eastern Europe, Africa and South America not even touched. On the other hand, it just points out what to get done before I die.

Posted by: Anne at August 05, 2007 04:58 PM (q0PnG)

4 I've been to forty. They're reasonably well spread out over Europe, South America, Australia, southAsia and Israel...including it's capital, Jerusalem. So many places, so little time.

Posted by: Jocelyn at August 05, 2007 10:35 PM (2+m3k)

5 Looks like I come with 12 World Heritage Sites. I don't think listing Jerusalem on its own is a sign of anti-semitism. UN folks usually have a groupthink automatic desire to be as ridiculously politically correct as possible, and so would like to think that listing Jerusalem on its own is in some way a sign of political neutrality. Of course, in actuality it's just another sign of distance from the reality, which is that the State of Israel exercises a very normal and regular (if, admittedly, disputed) sovereignty over the city of Jerusalem and has done so for a significant enough period of time.

Posted by: Andrew Cusack at August 06, 2007 10:06 AM (v/Tqy)

6 I've been to 30 ... I think! Most of my travels were some 20 years ago, when I was in college - and it's hard to remember the names of certain places!

Posted by: Monica C. at August 06, 2007 08:49 PM (FMnfx)

7 Throws my lowly "Pueblo de Taos" into the ring and blushes furiously. Dang, I need to get out. Not more - ANY. Heh.

Posted by: Margi at August 06, 2007 09:03 PM (DwLKz)

8 I had to scroll down depressingly far to reach the first of any of the sites I've visited. And now am feeling quite un-learned of the world I live in, too much so to even count, although I can't fathom my list would contain more than ten. In two countries - the UK and the grand ol' homefront.

Posted by: Jennifer at August 07, 2007 07:02 PM (RlFqM)

9 Seven. Clearly I have a lot of catching up to do. One of these days?

Posted by: Mark S at August 08, 2007 03:25 PM (ek/FX)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

A thought hit me this weekend and I promptly shared it with my wife. I told her that while I could not really see myself hiring a woman of the evening for sexual relations, I could easily see myself, a happily married man, hiring a woman to sit across a table from me, look deeply into my eyes with great sincerity, and just tell me, over and over for a half an hour:

You're right. I was so wrong. I just didn't look at it the way you did. You were so right. I should have listened to you. I'm sorry.

Every married man I know harbors this secret, deep fantasy. If they don't, they're not being honest with themselves. It isn't wrong, is it, to contemplate paying a woman for this kind of illicit rendevous? How could it be wrong if it felt so right, so good?

And by the way, my wife laughed very hard. But she never said I was right about this, either.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:01 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 173 words, total size 1 kb.

I just picked up my re-strung squash racquet. I bet it is going to feel like a totally new racquet tonight when I attend this bi-monthly squash clinic that is so hard on me that I actually will lose 3-4 pounds between now and tomorrow morning. I am thinking that the ball is going to jump off these shiny new strings like it was shot from a gun. I am, in short, way more excited about this than I have any right to be. It is pathetic. I kept twirling it around in my hand the whole way back from the store. I am itching to pick it up now to see how it feels all the while knowing it will feel almost precisely how it felt when I walked it over to the store this morning.

One nice thing was the wear pattern on the old strings. The old strings had started to unravel and fray. Where? All in the sweet spot, baby, and no where else. Meaning? I was striking most every ball right in the middle of the racquet (or else I was dinging the other shots off the frame). Nice.

Like I said, pathetic. I am going to be 40 this year and here I am gushing like a kid over a new car.

Still, I am so looking forward to banging a ball around tonight for a couple of hours.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:46 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 241 words, total size 1 kb.

Mark, at Irish Elk, has kindly nominated me for a "Thinking Blogger Award", not for any particular post (see rule 3 below), I gather, but for general thinkingness. Or something. I am terribly grateful. Thank you, Mark.

The rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote...

Here are five thoughtful blogs (in no particular order) that may not have been tagged yet, and deserve to be:

1. The Llama Butchers: A great read on a daily basis ranging from bad movies to good literature and the ocassional and always well received Naval Geekery post.

2. La Antigua Guatemala Daily Photo Blog: Like it sounds. Daily pictures from one of favorite places in the whole world.

3. Everyday Stranger: If Helen doesn't make you think, or at least feel, give up right now.

4. Simon World: Simon is wicked smart, writes well, and writes about Asia. It is usually important. More so than my blog, that is for certain.

5. Critical Mass: Erin writes beautifully and fluently and fights the good fight for academic freedom. You should know about her if you don't.

Happy reading! And thank you, again, Mark!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:49 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 238 words, total size 2 kb.

I read an article in the NY Times this morning about a strange revival of Jewish culture and life in Poland. At one time, prior to the Second World War, Poland was home to the largest Jewish population in Europe. Those few Jews who survived the Concentration Camps (remember, please, Auschwitz was on Polish soil), were further thinned out by State sanctioned pogroms and other anti-Semitic actions. When it came to anti-Semitism, it would appear that we have found something that the Poles absolutely excelled at.

Now, however, the Poles are in the process of rediscovering the contributions made by the Jews to Polish culture -- food, music, literature, architecture, language, art, and science. There is a veritable revival. The NY Times thinks this is great and seems to think it is kind of amusing that the Poles are managing to do it without the Jews. The tone of the article, I feel, is ironic amusement.

There is nothing ironic about it, from my perspective. Jewish culture without the Jews who live it and practice it, Jewish culture divorced from the religious observances which gave rise to such culture and around which such culture revolves, Jewish culture there is not Jewish culture. Klezmer music played by Polish, non-Jewish, musicians, to Polish, non-Jewish, diners eating "kosher" Polish, Jewish food (I have to think it is simulated "kosher" or kosher style food because where would they find the appropriate authorities to certify it?) is NOT Jewish culture. It is a simulacrum of Jewish culture.

It is also at once both an appropriation of Jewish culture and perhaps the ultimate example of Polish anti-Semitism. First, Jewish culture divorced from the religious calendar has little meaning. It is simply the Disneyification of Jewish life, celebrated by those for whom a connection to Jewish life is purely theoretical. It is, I suppose, a living museum. It is, in this regard, deeply offensive. Jewish culture is not here for the Poles' amusement and attempting to live it cannot be left for them to feel better about having wiped out their Polish Jews. I understand that they feel a void in Polish culture. It is understandable considering the contributions of Jews to Polish culture. But this way is wrong. Jewish culture is being lived by Jews all over the world in places other than Poland. It is lived every time a Jew celebrates the Sabbath or observes, with joy, a holiday (holy-day, right?). It is not ready for a museum.

Secondly, as I said above, it is the height of the expression of Polish anti-Semitism. After all, what could be better, from the Polish perspective, than taking the best of Jewish culture and enjoying it, all without having to be inconvenienced by the presence of a Jew?

Jewish culture without the Jew. Welcome to Poland. Be real careful getting on a train, you never know what the next stop will be.

Indeed, what better proves my point about how strange this all is than this photo (note the Crucifix, please):

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:41 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 513 words, total size 3 kb.

1 As the old saying goes, a picture says a thousand words. Sadly, and I'm really fighting the urge to make Pollock jokes, is that they may think the Crucifix is key to the Jewish religion too. I mean, Jesus is one of the most popular Jews ever, so why wouldn't the crucifix be the central part of Jewish religion?

Posted by: phin at July 12, 2007 09:40 AM (CQcil)

2 I mean, Jesus is one of the most popular Jews ever, so why wouldn't the crucifix be the central part of Jewish religion? Because crucifixion was a Roman punishment administered by the Roman government. And although Jesus was a Palestenian Jew, he was rejected by them - hence the outreach to the Gentiles.

Posted by: Emily at July 12, 2007 10:49 AM (MqOYm)

3 Well, Emily, I am not sure I agree with your second sentence. First, "Palestine" is a loaded political term and was not used by the Romans until Hadrian, some 134 years after the death of Jesus. Thus, Jesus could not be as you described him. Second, the use of the term gentile is another anachronism. Third, Jesus had great success preaching to Jews. All of his initial disciples were originally Jewish. Finally, crucifixion was not a punishment created by the Romans, although it was used by them. It was created by Carthage and used by the Persians, Seleucids, Jews, Carthaginians, and Romans.

Posted by: rp at July 12, 2007 12:13 PM (op1yW)

4 Also, going back to Phin's comment for a moment, I am pretty sure he was being ironic. Phin's like that, you see.

Posted by: rp at July 12, 2007 12:15 PM (op1yW)

5 To quote a bumper sticker, Jesus was a Jewish liberal. That's true, actually. The reason he was shunned by some of his Jewish brethren is because he was too progressive. I like your point about Disneyification. I think that is an outstanding take on it. The only thing they're not doing is making money on it...yet.

Posted by: Linda at July 13, 2007 08:43 AM (Aq93h)

6 My apologies for being imprecise. Not being familiar with Phin's brand of irony, I dashed off a reply to his comment and then went to read the NYT article. I would like to point out, however, that I did not allude to the history of crucifixion, and was referring specifically to the crucifixion of Jesus. To dissect crucifixion and its users would have been outside the bounds of Phin's comment.

Posted by: Emily at July 13, 2007 03:40 PM (MqOYm)

7 I think you might be taking it a little too personally, RP. For instance, if I want to attend an Italian festival to celebrate their contributions to American culture by eating baked ziti and playing a round of bocci, must I first convert to Roman Catholicism? Can't I celebrate the influence of the Chinese by blowing off fireworks and chowing down on some good kung pao without chanting the little red book? Now, granted, the Polish situation is different because they, under control of the Nazis, killed off their Jews. But, would rather have them not celebrate Jewish contributions to Polish culture at all? Must they roast an egg and a lamb shank and observe Passover before they sing Hava Nagila? While all cultures are defined heabily by their religious life, must all heuristic nuance be included in order to make the honoring of that culture's contributions "real"? That photo's pretty funny, though. I promise, they don't mean to offend you, but to honor your long gone kinsmen. I dunno.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at July 14, 2007 08:34 PM (RFWDk)

8 heabily = heavily. Although I might substitute it with "profoundly". And I have no idea what "hava nagila" means, so in case the answer to my question is "yes", nevermind.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at July 14, 2007 08:38 PM (RFWDk)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I have just learned, as I sit here, that nothing helps you contemplate your own mortality more easily that a 12 page letter from your own lawyer that begins:

In accordance with your request, we enclose for your review proposed new Wills, Revocable Trusts, Health Care Proxy, Declaration and Organ/Tissue Donation Forms, Durable Powers of Attorney and Deeds of Gift. In order to assist you in your reading and understanding of the drafts, I have briefly summarized their provisions.

If a summary is 12 single spaced pages, it is hardly brief.

Just the same, it is kind of humbling to think that your entire life, and the arrangements to tidy it up, can be so neatly summed up.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:33 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 120 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I know how you feel. I had my attorney work on my will, etc. It's also amazing to realize how little I have to give away.

Posted by: Howard at July 11, 2007 04:42 PM (u2JaN)

2 We soooo need to do this. The main reason is that our children we have chosen to go to two friends instead of family and that would definitely need to be spelled out in legal documents. I'm so happy that you have all that set up for your family. It's important.

Posted by: Linda at July 13, 2007 08:33 AM (Aq93h)

3 ...it is kind of humbling to think that your entire life, and the arrangements to tidy it up, can be so neatly summed up. That's precisely why I refuse to deal with life.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at July 14, 2007 08:46 PM (RFWDk)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

I have once again returned to my native shores, y'all. I will post, in dribs and drabs, updates and recaps of our two week excursion to Norway. In the meantime, I will lead off with the most negative and pessimistic recap I can possibly conceive of, one I shared with my wife already (who, by the way, I told at some point during the trip that my next wife was going to not only be a local girl but an orphan to boot).

The trip can be summed up as follows:

I told the driver who was coming to pick us up to take us to the airport to begin our voyage to basically fuck off after he called 5 minutes before we were supposed to leave and told me, after I asked, that he was more like an hour away.

I told one of my brothers-in-law to go fuck himself as we were saying goodbye the night before leaving to come back to the States (more on why later). I assured him that I meant it in the nicest possible way, though, as I shook his hand goodbye.

In between those two events, it rained and I gained 8-10 pounds.

Sounds idyllic, doesn't it?

Well, there were some nice moments, but I will blog about those later.

Nice, sooooooo nice, to be home.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:48 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 244 words, total size 1 kb.

Summer is here, today, officially! YAY! I am celebrating, not by making burnt offerings to the Norse gods, but by breaking out my seersucker suit (supposedly from the Hindi words "shir shakkar," meaning "milk and honey") and the madder silk bow tie (madder refers to a natural dye from a Eurasian herbaceous plant, Rubia tinctoria).

What else to celebrate?

The Girl Child finished kindergarten today! Her last day. I asked her last night if she was sad and she said she wasn't. I reminded her that she would most likely not be in class next year with the majority of her current class mates since the school likes to mix things up each year and she assured me, with a smile, that she knew "many people in the other kindergarten classes" and thought that she would be just fine next year.

The school year sure flew by. It seems like yesterday when I brought her to the bus and watched her recoil in fear as she exclaimed, "this isn't a little kids' bus; there are big kids on this bus!" She went from that to quietly proclaiming that she liked to sit towards the back of the bus and listen to the older kids talk because she found it "interesting". I just managed to shake off the inclination to home school her at that point, let me tell you.

We are off to Norway on Saturday for the burnt offerings, the swimming, and the attempts to play nice with the in-laws.

In the meantime, enjoy the beginning of summer, y'all!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:17 PM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 278 words, total size 2 kb.

I am running as fast as I can. More or less. I mean, if I'm writing this, I am hardly running anywhere. Still, I am trying to figure out how to get prepared with two things heating up at once so I can still get on the plane on Saturday with my family to go to Norway for two weeks. If things get too hot here, I will not be on the plane. This will mostly make me sad as I had plans to spend alone time with my children. Only mostly sad, you see, because I could probably pass on living at my in-laws for two weeks.

In the run up to leaving, the Viking Bride had to prepare the kids for camp which begins the day after we return from Norway. The Girl Child intends to join the swim team at the Club and this week was Get Wet Week -- after school practice. Her first day was yesterday. She was the only one who insisted on staying to get extra practice in with the big kids after the little kids were dismissed. The coach was very impressed with her attitude, telling the Viking Bride that an attitude like that was going to take the Girl Child far in life.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:13 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 216 words, total size 1 kb.

I have been a bit down of late, I must confess. Well, I don't have to confess it, I suppose, but I am going to just the same. I am feeling pressured at home by the difficult adjustment period my wife is going through, I am pressured by the demands of work, and I am wicked pressed by the financial side of things -- who knew windows could cost so much? The result for me is an increasing lassitude and difficulty in sort of pushing myself to complete the important daily tasks I used to just dash right through. This might also explain the paucity of posting here as I have difficulty rousing myself to write anything.

But, as I was walking on Park Avenue this morning, on the way to mortify the flesh at the gym again, as I do most every morning, I was thinking how nice and cool it was, and how the sun had perhaps not yet begun to take the chill of the darkness away. Then, I had a moment of clarity, a moment that perhaps, while not unique and known to everyone else already, was not robbed of its power in the slightest. It occurred to me that every day, the world is re-born. Every day, when the sun rises, it rises on a new world, a new day, a new you, even. Every day, at the rise of sun, you are given a new shot at redemption, a new beginning, a new possibility.

Even if you cannot wipe the slate clean from the day before, even if your personal balance sheet didn't reset and you carry over the debits and credits of the preceding hours, you still get the potential for grace. Redemption, it seemed to me as I paced the avenue, is not necessarily made up of a great epiphany or a grand and overwhelming gesture that tends to compensate for all the ills that you have performed or have befallen you. No, redemption is perhaps less of an end and more of a journey. Redemption, if you cease the moment and embrace the new day's sunlight, begins with and perhaps is entirely composed of small steps, halting movements that can become more sure over time. It has to start somewhere and it can come from making a small decision to do something different. It can even consist of a desire to change with the desire being the mother of the deed and that deed can be a baby step. What becomes important then is just taking another step and another step until you are on a totally different path.

Now, I don't mean to suggest anything is easy or even simple, that you can wipe out your debts simply by changing your mental latitude as the result of a ray of sunshine. No, not at all. What I mean is that you have to start somewhere and you might as well begin with the dawn. As Homer called it, "the rosy fingers of dawn". I wondered why he would choose to call them fingers. Perhaps it was because attached to the fingers is the hand and you can grasp the hand, each morning, and decide to pull yourself up and over and, in the process, begin anew.

And so, I choose, today, to take one small step, to throw myself at one or two small windmills and to, if not win the joust, tilt. For maybe it is enough to try. And maybe it is enough to keep trying, for in the trying, comes change.

And change can bring redemption. Every day brings that opportunity, that grace. Today it just seemed clear to me. So, today, I choose to take that hand.

I hope the above made some sense to you all. It was crystal clear to me as I wrote it.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:14 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
Post contains 645 words, total size 3 kb.

1 This post put a little shiver up my spine, RP. I think I may have to read this every morning as inspiration for the day. Wonderful!

Posted by: Oorgo at June 14, 2007 10:28 AM (ZUQGo)

2 This was beautiful, RP. And I do understand totally, it came across very clear. As Homer called it, "the rosy fingers of dawn" Homer Simpson said that? ;-P KIDDING! (No really, Homer Simpson has that kind of poetry in him? Who would have THOUGHT!? hehehe! KIDDING! I've read Homer too . ) Love to you and yours.

Posted by: Amber at June 14, 2007 11:33 AM (zQE5D)

3 What a wonderful moment of calm and simplicity in the storm of today. Thanks, RP. And good luck.

Posted by: Hannah at June 15, 2007 05:14 AM (5w+E2)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

Last night was cool. I got an invite earlier in the week to attend The Economic Club of New York's Centenial Celebration dinner at the Waldorf Astoria hotel last night. I am glad I overcame my initial reluctance and pulled the tuxedo down off of the back of the office door (doesn't everyone keep the full black tie get up at work?) and toddled off to the Waldorf.

New York is a place where everyone comes to or through. You can argue the comparative merits of living in Atlanta or Houston or Santa Monica, sure. But at the end of the day, they ain't NY. You just don't get the volume of interesting people passing through as you do in NY.

Take last night for example. I got to listen to Condi Rice talk about American Realism in foreign policy, Alan Greenspan as he compared JP Morgan's actions during the 1907 crash with his own actions during various other crashes, Paul Gigot from the Wall Street Journal, Lionel Barber from the Financial Times, and Pete Peterson of the Blackstone Group.

Rice was particularly interesting. I'm going to vote for her for President, by the way, should she ever seek the office. She noted that if she finishes her term as the 66th Sec. of State, and this is not a justification for affirmative action, that it will have been 12 years since the United States has had a white, male Sec. of State. I am still chuckling over that.

That was really pretty darn cool.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:58 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 269 words, total size 1 kb.

I stumbled upon the following line in the middle of a book review and since I have been thinking about it, on and off, for a day now, I decided it was worth sharing:

[P]olitical correctness, which is to thought what sentimentality is to compassion. . .

T. Dalrymple.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 12:37 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
Post contains 53 words, total size 1 kb.

What follows, now that we are on the cusp of summer, now that we have spent some time this past weekend thinking about our men and women who have made the final sacrifice so that we could enjoy our liberty, now that we look forward to the long, sunlit days and warm and humid nights, now it seems appropriate to consider some truths (summer edition):

*Kosher hot dogs taste better than other hot dogs;

*I believe that while the world may be renewed every day by the breath of school children, the world takes joy from every whoop pulled from a child's mouth upon jumping off into the first cannonball of the year;

*Anti-bug candles are a scam;

*The sound that a well struck tennis ball makes is very satisfying (especially after laying off the sport for 15 years);

*Teenage girls in bikinis do not look like the teenage girls in bikinis I remember. If the girls back then looked like the girls today, I would never have had the courage to speak to a single one of them;

*The smells of summer are grand -- suntan lotion coming off the hair of a child cuddling on your lap; warm flowers; cold beer; freshly cut lawn; charcoal coming up to temperature; even chlorine smells nice;

*Roasted peanuts and beer at minor league baseball. Enough said;

*The feeling like the sun is never going to set and your summer day is going to stretch out into infinity with endless possibilities and always enough time for just one more jump into the water;

*Watching sailboats in the distance makes me think of the best of modern dance and poetry combined as the boats dance and weave around each other and as the sails dip and fill with the capricious whims of the wind;

*Warm tomatoes fresh from the vine. My grandafather used to eat them like apples. I used to think that was odd. I don't any longer;

*All the glorious summer fruits make me realize that even as wonderous as they are, they are but a pale shadow of the fruits of Mexico and Guatemala;

*Summer makes me want to play hooky in ways winter never, ever does.

Feel free to add your own, should you feel inspired.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:23 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 385 words, total size 2 kb.

I have not been inspired to write of late. I look at the blank screen and I got a whole lot of nothing. I have been considering whether I should close it up, wondering whether I have written everything I have to write, contemplated whether I am done. I have decided not to make any decisions. Just to let it ride for a bit longer and see what happens. Maybe I continue; maybe I don't. I'm really not certain at all.

In the meantime, I am going to do a series of mini-posts, all contained within this larger post. A bit of catch up, if you will.

* * *

This has been a stressful week at home. We received very unwelcome and expensive news concerning the condition of the house. We have rot issues that will take many thousands of dollars (and I mean, many) to rectify and the rectification process must begin immediately. So, let's see. The Viking Bride has removed (with my blessings) her salary from our income statement and our budget just got shot out of the water with a huge cap. ex. problem. Yeah, life continues to get interesting.

* * *

Attended a squash clinic on Wednesday night with a young kid late of the Trinity College Squash team -- they are basically professionals, all of them. It was the best time I had all week. And I was even able to move the next day. But I learned a lot.

* * *

Mother's Day was outstanding. My mother felt well enough to attend brunch with us. The Girl Child (aged 6) spent part of a school day writing a card for both her grandfather and grandmother. It read:

Dear Grenparens,

Thank you for making my life so much nicer. I love you lots.

Love,
The Girl Child

Not a dry eye in the house after having read that.

* * *

The Boy Child is still sucking his thumb. We are not that happy about it.

While at brunch, I had to take him to the bathroom. Upon our return, his plate with his cookie on it was gone. He was not pleased.

BC: Pappa! My cookie's gone!

Me: So, go back to the dessert table and get another one.

BC: I don't want to go by myself.

Me: Well, I just took you to the bathroom and I am not taking you to the dessert table. Ask your sister if she will take you.

BC: Girl Child, will you take me to the dessert table.

GC: Yes. [gets up, holds out her hand to him, he puts his hand in hers and they set off]

Then I hear her say

GC: But Boy Child, if I see you put that thumb in your mouth, we are coming right back. Do you understand?

Tough kid.

* * *

Celebrated 17 Mai yesterday. Norwegian Constitution Day. I had to give a dinner for a committee I serve on so I created a 4 course meal that the chef made for us. It was a stunning success. Much aquavit and beer. So much that when I was in the gym this morning, my sweat smelled like caraway, of all things.

* * *

I have been immersed, in my own head, thinking about issues concerning pricing and value. I started a post on it but didn't finish it. Maybe I will.

* * *

I hope you all have a great weekend (anyone still reading, that is)!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 03:27 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
Post contains 569 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Still here! I'm hunkered down myself, with 3 weeks of school and 5 weeks of gestation left. Been thinking about y'all, though. Best of luck with everything, as always.

Posted by: Mandalei at May 18, 2007 03:51 PM (339IQ)

2 I miss you when you go missing. Nice to hear life goes on, as it is wont to do.

Posted by: Jennifer at May 18, 2007 04:35 PM (RlFqM)

3 I'm still here too. Sorry to hear about the house. And I'm glad to hear your mother is improving. The Girl Child is precious. And so are your boys.

Posted by: caltechgirl at May 18, 2007 04:42 PM (r0kgl)

4 Even if you don't have a lot to say right now, I hope that you won't give up on this place entirely. It always brightens my day when I get to read about your children or learn your opinions on a given topic. Enjoy your weekend!

Posted by: Angie at May 18, 2007 04:55 PM (JRxQD)

5 I was wondering what happened to you. First, glad your mother is feeling better. I love, love, love the card GC gave to them. Moments like that are priceless. Ari gave me a t-shirt and card he made himself and it was the best gift EVER! Rot issues that have to be dealt with right away? Do you have black mold? That stuff is nasty. I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this. I'm wondering why your house inspector didn't catch this when you bought the place. I mean, you've been there less than 2 years. Any rotting should have been evident. Anyway, I hope you don't stop writing. I know how it is. I stopped for a while and have recently gotten back into it again. I needed the break. So, take your time. Regarding the aquavit, we recently drank some from a care package that came from Scandinavia. Plus, a little gourmet food market in town sells Gjetost. I guess I've missed my heritage lately. Oh, and if you haven't been by my site in a while, I announced that I was offered a position beginning in August. My boss is Norwegian. It's AWESOME! With fondness...

Posted by: Linda at May 18, 2007 05:02 PM (Aq93h)

6 Still kicking. That's always good. I think I have said it before, but if you posted a grocery list, I'd read it. Take care, hang in there, and all that rot! Life is what happens when you made other plans.

Posted by: Margi at May 18, 2007 05:09 PM (HHaTU)

7 I'm still here too. We all get busy in our lives but it is a comfort for me to have you here when I drop by. I hope you continue to write.

Posted by: Annie at May 18, 2007 09:04 PM (SijLQ)

8 Still here. Lurking. I, too, am in an extended dry spell. It probably has to do with my long and ever shifting work hours. Three hours sleep one night (or day), 14 hours sleep the next. Well, that's my excuse anyway...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at May 19, 2007 10:30 AM (O5Tps)

9 RP, don't you be shutting down nothin'. Anyone who tells me their BO smells like caraway is far too creative and original to stop writing even if life is throwing some rotten curves your way. 'Sides which if you have nothing to say, Girl Child and Boy Child always have intriguing sensibilities that we want to hear about. And if you quit, you just might start sucking your thumb.

Posted by: Roberta S at May 19, 2007 10:34 PM (QY8Kf)

10 A belated Happy Norwegian Constitution Day! Skål!

Posted by: MCNS at May 21, 2007 07:26 AM (7gI25)

11 RP, I'm still reading although I don't always comment, sorry. But I do love reading you and I hate it when I show up and the page is all white because the other entries have moved to archives.

Posted by: Amber at May 21, 2007 11:08 AM (zQE5D)

12 Still reading and enjoying.

Posted by: Howard at May 21, 2007 04:25 PM (u2JaN)

13 Glad to see you found it within you to post something! I was also saddened to keep stopping by and being greeted by a white screen.

Posted by: GrammarQueen at May 22, 2007 04:16 PM (fWrQ6)

14 Ah, over here it is 17 June - with Vodka, and pan-fried Cod, and Bjork. Heh. Happy day, you posted...! Belated 17 May to you all

Posted by: Eizabeth at May 29, 2007 08:59 AM (xFuVH)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

A college diploma is the tangible evidence of having been adjudged to have received an education. An education, a college education, is what all parents in the United States want for their children. I say "all parents" but it probably isn't all, just the majority. You probably heard it all the time from your parents so much -- "if you don't buckle down, you'll never get into college and then see what your life will become!" -- that it became a joke to you -- "if you can't shotgun that beer, dude, you'll never succeed in college".

So, college, the ultimate American escape (from high school, from parents, from the life you led prior to college, etc.), looms large in your mind. It shimmers on the horizon like a vision of, what, fear (thanks to your parents), escape, and, for the lucky few, the chance to expand their minds. But, I wonder, do you ever really get away from the fear?

Every so often, when you see a homeless person, do you clutch your education to your chest and rub it like a talisman, saying to yourself, I have my education, I will never be like that?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:34 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 201 words, total size 1 kb.

1 But, I wonder, do you ever really get away from the fear?" Fear of not succeeding? Don't know. What is success? I went to college, but didn't finish. I chose a different path. I am certainly happy, we do okay, but I'm not wildly successful. Does that bring success, or just more bills and headaches? ARRGH! Now my head hurts, RP! ;o)>

Posted by: Mark at May 04, 2007 10:57 PM (3jzj+)

2 Well said. We're all doing many of the things we do to get away from the fear. I left school early. Never been inside a college. But I make very good money as a self-taught webtrepreneur. Of course your mileage may vary.

Posted by: Eolake at May 07, 2007 11:02 AM (FbcLc)

3 Usually I think that I'm glad to have all of my marbles.

Posted by: magpie at May 07, 2007 11:41 AM (sUAU8)

4 Urgh. We spend sooo much time in the classroom, drilling the message "you have to go to college ... you have to go to college..." into the heads of kids who, in reality, have all the chance of succeeding in college that I have in the NBA. I'm five feet tall. Yes, sometimes I think my education 'protects' me from the vagaries of real life ... but there are no guarantees.

Posted by: Caroline at May 07, 2007 01:20 PM (bGL62)

5 Wow... you have a pretty low expectation of kids abilities, Caroline. Of course College doesn't ensure anything, it doesn't say you will flourish, it doesn't say you will get a career in your chosen field. College/University sometimes only opens up your mind to see that there are other things in life than your little circle of influence. That there are other perspectives, things to question, and that questioning is good. I grew up in a world where it wasn't good to question things, or you were seen as a troublemaker/unbeliever. I was being prepared for the world of the clones and the unthinkers. On a different note I remember my last month or so of University, and thinking to myself 'What if they find out I'm really a sham? What if I didn't learn anything in actuality and this has all been for none?', "What the hell am I going to be doing next year?" Absolutely no guarantees.

Posted by: Oorgo at May 07, 2007 02:16 PM (ZUQGo)

6 Yeah, particularly when I was regularly asking people, "Would you like to try a flavor shot in your latte? It's only a quarter extra."

Posted by: Kathy at May 07, 2007 02:24 PM (Wx2Gq)

7 Y'know, I've hit the "comment" button a time or ten as I try to formulate an adequate response. Were it not for family grace and federal student aid (loans), my children and I would be homeless. The alternative was quite intolerable. Although I am a highly skilled worker and already have an AA, I fall into the category of "the underemployed". I've gone back to school to get my BA, and to refocus my skills in a different direction. But no, to answer your OP - education is no talisman against homelessness. A great deal of it is how you handle what's been done TO you.

Posted by: Emily at May 08, 2007 12:45 PM (MqOYm)

8 My education has been a quest. I've worked for it for a long time and beyond odds since I come from two parents who don't have a high-school education, let alone a college education. Still, I think nothing of that when I see a homeless person. What I see is lack of resilience. Innately, education has little to do with that.

Posted by: Linda at May 09, 2007 09:20 PM (Aq93h)

Hide Comments | Add Comment

When the neurosurgeon walked into the waiting room last night at just past 7:00, still wearing his scrubs and clogs, my father and I were the only ones sitting there. We had been at the hospital since a little after 11:00 that morning to visit with my mother and to help her pass the time until they came to take her away for her surgery.

She had been in the hospital since Sunday. My father had her taken over when she was suddenly unable to sit up or stand. They ran a cat scan and discovered that, in two areas, she had been bleeding in her brain and that blood clots had formed and were compressing her brain inwards. The neurosurgeon thought that it was important to relieve the pressure and to remove the clots and recommended surgical intervention. She was admitted Sunday afternoon.

When we spoke, she and I, on Sunday evening after I called to say good night to her and to tell her that I loved her, she told me that she wanted to kill herself. I have never heard her express despair like this. I was shredded by this. I was consoled only by the call my father made to me later that evening to tell me that she was totally disoriented, asking him why he was still in the office (at 9 on a Sunday) and asking further about why she was in the hospital. I have decided to attribute her statement, her unbelievably out of character statement, to the confusion caused by her condition. Just the same, I slept only about 3.5 hours Sunday night into Monday and those hours I did sleep were not restorative.

I left work early on Monday to commute back to Westport to get the car and the Viking Bride and drive down to the hospital in Greenwich. We visited with my mom for an hour or so and took off. The Girl Child had to be taken to observe a violin lesson. My father drove up and joined us for dinner.

Yesterday, I again left work early and met my father at the hospital. My mother slept from about 12 to 2 but we were with her until they took her away at 5:00 or so. The surgery was supposed to be at around 3, but was delayed due to an emergency.

Waiting is difficult. I shan't elaborate.

After they took her off, my father and I walked to a local restaurant to sit and decompress while they performed the surgery. We ate too much and drank a little wine. We discussed the future. He is quite a realist, my father.

And then, all too soon, we were in the waiting room, again, alone but for another woman waiting for news, too.

The doctor looked so grave when he approached us. I don't know if he was tired or whether that was simply his normal manner. But the news, he said, was very good and she came through the procedure with flying colors.

My father made a peculiar strangled gulping noise and I realized, looking at him, that he bit back a sob.

He looked at the doctor and said, clearly teared up:

Doctor, we have been married 42 years. You look at this woman and you see this withered thing. But I don't see that. When I look at her, this is what I see. [And he pulled his wallet out and showed the doctor that picture of my mother when she was maybe 22 years old]. This is how she looks to me. Thank you for helping her.

I am a bit tearful now as I re-tell this here. It was a beautiful statement and a wonderful sentiment.

The doctor thinks that having had the pressure relieved on her brain, he expects her brain to "come up again" and re-expand to occupy the full space in her skull. This really was excellent news.

I must say, I cannot believe it is only Wednesday. I feel as if I have had a life time packed into the last three days.

A lifetime.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:51 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
Post contains 696 words, total size 4 kb.

It really is the first step. Of course, what they fail to mention is that your first step of admitting you have a problem may well be the last, final and terminal step, too. After all, you can admit you have a problem, acknowledge the scope of the problem, and decide, screw it, I am going to find a way to co-exist in peace, or some semblance thereof, with your problem.

For me, the problem is that I am a squash glutton. If given the chance, I will gorge myself on the game. I will play until the sweat is dripping off the racquet grip and I have to wipe my hand on the wall. I will play until no wants to play anymore or until I run out of time. This probably does not come across as a problem, does it?

But, you see, I am turning 40 this year, not 30.

The normal amount of time for a squash match is around 30 minutes. Today, I played 90.

My elbow hurts, my knee hurts, my back is tight, my hip is iffy, my shoulder is questionable, and my feet are not speaking to me anymore. I have conclusively established that playing for 90 minutes straight is too much.

And yet, I was seriously thinking about playing with this nice fellow of Indian descent (warning: generalization here -- Indians and Pakistanis are often very good squash players) this evening when he asked me if I knew how he could get a game up tonight. That would have been folly.

Playing for 90 minutes is a problem. Considering playing for more is more of a problem.

I admit (and my joints are forcing me to admit) that I have a problem.

That said, I think I will decline to do anything about it. Because, viewed from a different angle, the problem is that I am less happy off of the squash court than on it. So, perhaps, the impediment to true happiness is work and the time demanded by work. Maybe I should be thinking about ways to spend more time on the court and not less time.

Gee, sounds like I solved my initial problem, didn't I? I admitted I had a problem and then I found a solution to it.

Of course, I suppose the next entry should probably deal with how denial is not a river in Egypt.

Anyone free for a game?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:49 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
Post contains 418 words, total size 2 kb.