I have a moment to make a quick report, in case anyone was wondering where I've been. I have, since Friday morning, now billed 30 hours in preparing my emergency application. I smell bad, my glasses are filthy, I am out of emergency chocolate, and my desk is a wreck of old torn up drafts, empty coffee cups, lost pens, files, folders, documents -- both originals and copies, statute and form books, and transcripts. I have a notice of motion, a memorandum of law, and, most importantly, an affidavit for my client to sign. I will serve it all tomorrow morning and then see about digging out. I believe it will hit the plaintiff right between the eyes.

This is not the fun and romantic career I thought I was getting into when I used to watch L.A. Law.

I hope I have not missed much fun stuff on all the other blogs.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:27 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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1 Hang in there, RP! Hope it gets better for you soon!

Posted by: GrammarQueen at October 25, 2004 05:52 PM (gDEwS)

2 As I dig out of my own hole--surfacing from 9th grade research papers and parent phone calls about kids who need to get into Harvard 4 years from now, and whose lives I personally have shattered because of this grade--I am sending you zen vibes of hope and good cheer. Rock on with your bad self!

Posted by: Mandalei at October 25, 2004 07:43 PM (PibH1)

3 *rushes into room with armful of halloween candy* here - hand me your glasses *uses soft cloth and wipes away grit* there - talk to you later

Posted by: standing naked at October 25, 2004 10:27 PM (IAJcf)

4 As someone who has worked for over ten years in insurance defense -- GO GETTEM, TIGER!! And as always, hug your support staff. *grin* xoxo

Posted by: Margi at October 26, 2004 12:20 AM (MAdsZ)

5 Ugh, ugh. I hope your newest efforts knock the socks off the plaintiff and your client gets what they deserve. Also wishing you a full nights sleep, a vacation with the family, and chocolate. Plenty of chocolate.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at October 26, 2004 01:41 AM (RgxV/)

6 OUT of 'emergency chocolate' , this is bad!

Posted by: Mia at October 26, 2004 02:08 AM (6kWIG)

7 I avoided watching L.A. Law, at all costs, just because it was on TV. The work is the thrill! The pain is only yer growth! May we all yet suffer as much as ye, me matey! Oop, sorry. Talk Like A Pirate Day was last month...

Posted by: Tuning Spork at October 26, 2004 03:04 AM (OcLmo)

8 Ok, wow. Thanks for all the great comments and very kind wishes and thoughts. Today is serve the papers day and then things will settle down a bit. The boss, by the way, thought I did a great job. So, that's nice, at least.

Posted by: RP at October 26, 2004 07:40 AM (LlPKh)

9 Is Stinky the boss?

Posted by: John Bruce at October 26, 2004 11:00 AM (MRbP2)

10 Damn, John, you remember that? In fact, he is.

Posted by: RP at October 26, 2004 11:24 AM (LlPKh)

11 What have you missed on blogs? Where do I begin! Jim of SBD has gone gay. Finally, he's come out of the closet and admitted secretly he's always wanted to spend his life in drag and grow old surrounded by 50 cats and the original recordings of all of Debbie Reynold's songs. Ravings of a Corporate Mommy? Well, Elizabeth and her family have quit the rat race nad now own a farm of sunflowers, which will be run as a cooperative. And me? I'm on the lam. I stole that painting after all-I mean, it was easy to do. I speak Swedish, after all Hang in there, baby.

Posted by: Helen at October 26, 2004 02:30 PM (DCpYG)

12 I've been outed? Damn. Well, it was only a metter of time. Debbie Reynolds rules!!!!!

Posted by: Jim at October 26, 2004 04:16 PM (GCA5m)

13 1)Order in chocolate at next opportunity. I thought you NY'ers could order in anything. 2)Burn material on top of desk 3)Use fire to roast marshmallows and make s'mores or Stinky, whatever comes first 4)Give self a long holiday weekend. 5)Institue "costume" only dress code at the firm.

Posted by: Azalea at October 26, 2004 06:33 PM (hRxUm)

14 Oops, I'm late (again!) but...hang in there, stay warm, go get 'em, YAY RANDOM! GRRRRR! (How's zat?)

Posted by: Amber at October 26, 2004 07:18 PM (zQE5D)

15 Hope it works out RP, I'm your your memo of law was terrific. Based upon your prior comments about the quality of justice your client received below I'm sure you'll get a good result. Ivan

Posted by: ivan at October 26, 2004 09:49 PM (xy2ZU)

16 I thought about you today, and just wanted to send some more good wishes. *wish*wish*wish*wish*wish*wish*wish*wish*wish*wish*

Posted by: Mandalei at October 27, 2004 06:18 PM (PibH1)

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I rank yesterday up there in the top 5 worst professional days I have ever had the joy to experience. I cannot, for reasons obvious to at least me, go into great detail about this, so you may not get the full flavor of why, for instance, I actually wanted to throw up at one point. But I will try to summarize just a little bit, if only to help myself move past it.

1. That motion to take discovery? Lost. All of it. Every bit of the relief requested. Why? The Judge loathes my client. Also, it was a totally cold bench (she didn't read one single word of the papers my firm charged my client thousands of dollars to prepare). I get spoiled by appearing mostly in the Commercial Division when I'm in State Court. Ivan Chonkin (if he stops by today) will understand about this since he's had the experience. Then, the judge simply fucked me. No other way to describe it. She is withholding the decision on the motion and refusing to issue a stay. When I said to her that by doing so she would prevent me from going to the Appellate Division to seek a stay, she told me that she would not issue an order just to permit me to "run up huge costs and expense and generate a lot of paper". This was at the end of the appearance. I became so angry here my hands started to shake. I put my finger in front of her, told her that I do not practice law to bring meritless motions or do anything just to run up the costs, I resented the implication that I did, that I had done nothing in front of her that could have ever given her that impression, and that she was out of line. I have never yelled at a judge before and I guarantee my voice was raised. And you know what? She said that she was sorry and that she didn't mean to give that impression. Fuck her.

2. The judge has withheld the decision, as I said above. I am now preparing a motion to by brought by notice of motion (because denial of an ex parte application brought by emergency order to show cause is not an appealable paper in NY) that will request relief in something like 6 parts, with many subparts, and it has to be served by no later than Tuesday. I will be here all weekend. This motion is pure damage control because there ain't no way she's granting it. I will be writing for the appellate panel here.

3. I lost an appeal in another case. A decision came down on an appeal and the appellate court didn't even address the arguments we made. Also, and much much much worse, the client is devastated, both personally and financially. His marriage has broken up over the stress. I'm glad I did not have to make the call to tell him, coward that I am.

I met my wife for dinner afterwards because it was date night and we hadn't been alone for about 2 weeks. It was not joyous but just being with her can sometimes make things a lot better.

But the best part of all? Coming home to find my daughter was still awake, letting her get out of bed while I took my tie and suit off, and then sitting with her in her rocking chair and rocking, chatting, and rubbing her back until it was time to put her back to bed. That did more to salvage my day than I think anything could have.

Finally, I will leave you with a funny Girl Child story, to reward you for getting this far. The nanny told us about it when we got home. She and the GC had the following conversation:

GC: I know, let's switch listening skills. I'll take yours and you take mine.

N: Ok. Hey, GC, let's go, its time for your bath.

[silence]

N: Hey, you have to listen to me because you have my listening skills and I always listen.

GC: [looks up at her] Fine. I want mine back.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:38 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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I wanted to blog a lot today. There were a number of things that interested me and I wanted to write about them. Instead, I have been preparing for oral argument for tomorrow to defeat, I hope, a $30 million or so claim. Or at least get the Court to give me discovery on damages and I have a novel theory that I am hoping the Court will allow me at least to pursue. If not, off to the Appellate Division. But I write instead to tell you that at 4:08 p.m. I just finished the last of the black coffee I bought at 7:15 this morning. That tells you all that you need to know about my day today, I bet.

At least I am feeling better physically. Thanks again for all your good wishes!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:12 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Margi had the link to this legal humor site.

I found particulary funny this lease provision:

47. END OF THE WORLD. The occurrence of the end of the world prior to the complete performance by Tenant of the terms, covenants and conditions of this Lease ... shall permit Landlord to accelerate and demand payment for all charges which remain as an obligation of Tenant under this Lease, and Landlord's collection of monies due from Tenant may be pursued by an immediately available procedure. For all purposes hereunder ... such notice [shall] be given to Tenant by the then prevailing medium of communication. Landlord shall be deemed aligned with the Forces of Light and Tenant shall be deemed allied with the Powers of Darkness notwithstanding either party's final ordered placement.

Lawyer humor for lawyers.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:08 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 ::: guffaw ::: I'm glad you liked it. I sorta knew you would.

Posted by: Margi at October 07, 2004 03:56 PM (MAdsZ)

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I just got another cold call my secretary did not weed out. I love these.

Woman: This is Dee from R__ K___'s office and he'd like to drop you some information in the mail.

Me: That's nice. Who's R___ K___?

Dee: Well, he works with Wall Street. [Delivered in slightly reverential tone as if I am lucky to be getting a call from the flunky of a man as busy as this]

Me: What? The whole Street? Really?

Dee: Well, he works for Almond (actually another nut) Securities.

Me: Them? Pass. [Hang up]

Closing thought: Perhaps he pushes a broom on Wall Street.

Actually, I did an internet search on the real name of the firm and came up with a suspended license story. Ah, well.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:12 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Wow! I wonder what you missed out on!!! ;-)

Posted by: Mick at October 04, 2004 06:07 PM (Yd6SN)

2 lol... its the look on your face as you say it that would probably make me laugh hardest. hardest? - ah - you know what i mean

Posted by: standing naked at October 04, 2004 11:24 PM (IAJcf)

3 There's a Peanut Securities?

Posted by: Simon at October 05, 2004 01:45 AM (GWTmv)

4 I've GOT to stop hanging up on these people so quickly. Turns out they can be very interesting

Posted by: Elizabeth at October 05, 2004 11:11 AM (sCupo)

5 Well ya know RP, sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don't.....

Posted by: Wicked H at October 05, 2004 11:47 AM (iqFar)

6 As I mentioned to someone else, my favorite "sell my stocks" cold call was one where I had just been playing squash the week before with the head of the caller's entire division. He hung up so fast when I mentioned this that I never got his name. . .

Posted by: RP at October 05, 2004 02:14 PM (LlPKh)

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