Did you form the impression yet that I'm what my grandmother used to call a smart aleck? Let me share with you two conversations I've had recently that amused me, at least, to no end.

Conversation 1:
Place: Walking up the train platform with a commuting buddy

Her: What was that language I heard you speaking to your children the other day? Was it French?

Me: No, it was Norwegian. We speak Norwegian to the children. We only speak French to the servants.

The look I got was priceless.

Conversation 2:
Place: Gym, this morning

Her: If you need to reach me tomorrow, I should tell you that I will be out of the office all day.

Me: What are you doing?

Her: It is my art and culture day. You know what I mean? I'm going to see Christo's installation in Central Park.

Me: Oh. Its good that you explained what you meant there because when you said culture, I assumed you meant yogurt.

Another incredulous look.

Its just sometimes, I forget to turn on the filter between my brain and my mouth. Fortunately, that doesn't happen too often, but still, it does happen.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:07 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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The world of law is a small, if not confined world. You practice, especially in big cities, among an ever changing cast of characters but often in front of the same judges. It feels closed and sometimes insular. The same names pop up, again and again. If you meet someone new, you can usually find a common point of reference, a school, a case, another lawyer, pretty quickly. In this regard, I doubt that the practice of law is really very different from, say, the world of high yield bonds. Especially at the higher end of things. But back to law.

In my world, reputation is everything. Again, I doubt that is a unique situation. For instance, diamond traders live by their reputation. And so do I. So, when I get a compliment from another attorney, a sincere compliment not a I'm blowing smoke up your ass so you'll drop your guard a bit and I can either slip one in or manipulate you, I'm pretty darn pleased.

I found one today in my email box as a lawyer I know from previous litigation sent me a referral. In this email, he described me as "wickedly smart" and possessed of a "mildly professorial demeanor", which he assures me and the potential new client he means as a compliment.

It is so nice to shine, just a little bit, even if no one outside of my insular little world really knows about it. Or cares. But I know and I can enjoy his little description. It is awful nice to be appreciated. Even nicer if the potential new client signs up, of course!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:00 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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My children are not like my sister and me. They are close, already, in ways that my sister and I never experienced. I am a tad bit envious. The Girl Child's name is the first word that passes the Boy Child's lips every morning and, indeed, was the first word he even learned how to say. She was the recipient of his first real kiss. I got to see it. He put his lips to her cheek and actually made a kissing noise. She tells us that when they get older, she intends to marry him. My wife assumes that means we have to move way down South.

I've gotten some little boy kisses, too, now, and they are terribly sweet things. Even better then when he would simply press his open and very wet mouth against the side of your face and leave behind a huge slick of saliva.

But here's the really cute thing.

We put them in the car, each in their own car seats, and the same thing happens almost every single time. Her arm goes out, hand open, palm up. His hand goes into it. And they both sit back and relax into their seats. They hold hands most of the ride to wherever it is we are taking them. If he is too slow with his hand, then we hear the Girl Child say, "Boy Child, give me your hand" (usually in Norwegian). And he does.

I feel unusually blessed, almost all the time.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:02 AM | Comments (13) | Add Comment
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I love public speaking. I have no fear about getting up in front of a group of people and speaking. This is a useful thing for a trial lawyer. In fact, I don't know how I could be a trial lawyer if public speaking bothered me. But Wednesday night was a bit different. I had to give a small speech to a small group -- about 60 people -- in my new role as chairman of a committee that was sponsoring an event. As chairman, I was the master of ceremonies. The dinner ran for about 3 hours and my speech was very well received. The crowd laughed in the right places and were solemn in the right places. It was very satisfying.

There is something about good public speaking that is a combination of Aikido and seduction. Aikido, in part, is premised on the belief that you can take another person's energy, control it, redirect it and then throw the person. Seduction? Well, you know what it is even if you can't explain it. When it goes well, it goes like this. You stand in front of the group. You make eye contact with some and you speak. And as you speak, you sense the energy of the group. You change your tone and your rhythm and your cadence and your volume as you speak. You force them to pay attention. To be drawn in to your words. Then you pull them along with you and make them think that they are interacting with you, that you are speaking to them. It feels seductive and you know you succeed when people you've never met before come up to you afterwards to say how much they enjoyed your talk and you can tell that they want to just linger, just to chat. You've seduced them. You've taken them from cold, although mildly interested, to warm, to hot. You can feel the energy in the room as it changes and you wrap yourself up in it. I really like that.

And the corollary, of course, is that sometimes your speech goes over as well as a "come here often" line. Happily, that didn't happen this time. And if you have a decent sense of rhythm, you ought to be able to avoid that entirely.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:39 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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I can make my daughter laugh her way out of crying. It is a gift, there is no question about it. I can take her right off the edge of the hysterical ledge to calm and laughing in under 5 seconds. I don't know how this came about, but as long as it works, I will continue to do it. Case in point, last night. As you know, from below, she has got pink eye. It makes her eyes hurt she says and she is very unhappy. When we put her into bed last night, she noticed that I switched out her little pillows for a big one from the guest room bed. Not happy, not happy. I had to explain that she could re-infect herself from her old pillows since she had her head on them. "Not my head", she corrected me, "my face". Right. She puts her golden little head on the pillow and consents to be covered up with the blanket. And then the tears come.

GC: I want my old pillows back! I don't like this [sob] pillow! Its [sob] too hard! [more sobbing as she begins to work herself up]

Me: Good! I want it to be hard! I want you to have the hardest, most uncomfortable pillow in the whole world!!

GC: [stops crying, starts to giggle] Huh? You do? For real?

Me: Yes! For real!

GC: No, you don't mean for real.

Me: [take pillow, fluff it up six different ways and put it back down] Try that.

GC: Ok. Still kind of hard [suspiciously], but better [grudgingly].

Kisses exchanged and off to the land of nod she goes, calmly and happily.

Thank goodness she enjoys the absurd. Absurdity, a parent's best weapon against tears.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:24 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 I've also found that showing awe and jelousy over scrapes and bruises to be very effective. "Wow! Look at that knee! That is AWESOME! How'd you do it? I want to try!" We don't get boo-boos at my house. We get Man Marks.

Posted by: Jim at February 11, 2005 12:18 PM (tyQ8y)

2 well jim...that is advice i needed. thank you. as for the laughing from crying thing.... yes it is a gift.

Posted by: standing naked at February 11, 2005 04:27 PM (IAJcf)

3 I've made the mistake of feeling sorry when Xavier falls and stuff (I'm a new parent ok?) and each time it turned out way worse than the times where I said "Oops! Hee Hee!" or something of the sort.

Posted by: Oorgo at February 11, 2005 05:13 PM (lM0qs)

4 I love the way you love your daughter, Random. :-)

Posted by: Amber at February 11, 2005 06:46 PM (zQE5D)

5 Sweet!

Posted by: Hannah at February 12, 2005 12:01 PM (7dELN)

6 When I read your stories about your daughter and you it makes me wish we had decided to have children. OK, ALMOST wish! I still stand by our decision, even though we enjoy our friends and family members' children immensely.

Posted by: Mark at February 12, 2005 07:10 PM (zJsVP)

7 She is so loved!!! My dh always takes the kids on trips to the (insert body part) store.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at February 13, 2005 02:22 PM (Q4q41)

8 I'm finding my reverse technique is paying off: "Whatever you do, do NOT laugh right now. Come here young lady, I can see you smiling. Now stop it!" Never fails to get them giggling. If only they took me seriously!

Posted by: Simon at February 14, 2005 02:52 AM (OyeEA)

9 One of my fondest memories with my nephew was when he was about four years old. My sister and brother-in-law had a scary-looking "monster" (statue) that they kept in the attic. Nephew Boy loved/feared the thing. One evening he wanted to see it. "It's too late," his father told him. He began to fret. Then he began to cry "Please, please, I wanna see the monster...!" His parents were sitting on the couch and he laid on the floor sobbing. "But **sob** I wanna see the monster..." he sniffled and looked at me, good ol' Uncle Bobby, for help. I looked him in the eye for a moment then "BOO!!!" He was startled... then confused... Then he burst out giggling. Suddenly he was happy. Probably mainly 'cause no one was ignoring him anymore. It had gone from "No" to "Yes" in a split second! No, you can't see the monster right now, but, yes, yes, yes, you can laugh at my funny faces! If you deny a child something that they dearly want, and they don't understand why it's being denied, offer them something else in it's stead. They may not understand why what they wanted was denied, but they'll understand, as they already trust, that you aren't out to deny them what they want for the sake of deny them what they want, but to give them what they need. They really do, they really do, they honestly do know that they're just kids, y'know. They expect you to teach them both possibilities and bounderies.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 16, 2005 01:19 AM (DixqM)

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Remember when I said that I was going to London to see the Queen? Just for the record, that was not a sly reference to the upcoming wedding of Prince Charles and Ms. Parker Bowles.

Nope. I declined that invitation.

Why did I turn that invitation down? Because Helen, who lives in London, is free while I am there and we're going to get together for drinks! Yay! You can see how, faced with the choice of Prince Charles or Helen, the Prince just had to go. Besides, Helen met him at Ascot last year, I seem to recall, and she can fill me in on all the gossip.

I'm really looking forward to it. Helen is the one who sponsored me for MuNu and, as I've already promised, I've got first shout.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:47 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I think it is pretty much over. Hockey season this year died before it was born, taking with it some hundreds of millions of Canadian dollars out of the Canadian economy, I read in Sports Illustrated recently. The Union and the League have called off talks and I think that there is really no hope that we are going to see a zamboni again this year on the ice at Madison Square Garden.

The sad part is that I only now just really noticed. I mean, I was excited and all to take part in the Inter-Munuvian Hockey Bitch Slap (hence the Rangers image on my sidebar) even knowing that my local team was going to feel the bitch slap a lot. But I didn't miss it for more than a minute. I barely noticed that no one was playing. And why would I? I think that these greedy asswipes have effectively destroyed their league, their game, their place in the pantheon of professional sports. My bet is that no one is coming back when they turn the lights back on again. I wrote about hockey before, asking: when did hockey lose its relevance. I guess it happened when most of us were doing other things.

Sprint training for baseball begins really soon. That, I'm excited about.

Rest in Peace, Hockey. We hardly knew ya.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:39 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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Go wish Margi a very, happy birthday!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:38 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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The house is in lock down. We have been quarantined. Infectious disease specialists have been flown in all over the world to consult. Diagnosis: Pink Eye.

The Girl Child has come down with a case of the dreaded pink eye. No one is safe. She can't go to school and the Boy Child may not go to music class today, which is sad because I think he really enjoys it.

Prognosis: She'll be totally fine and can go to school tomorrow if she doesn't have any further discharge from the infected eye.

But, while looking on the web to see if I could find any information on precautions to take to prevent contagion, I came across this little bit of information which kind of icked me out:

Newborns are also susceptible to infectious conjunctivitis, which can be serious. The sexually transmitted bacteria Chlamydia trachomatis and Neisseria gonorrhoeae can pass from an infected mother's birth canal into her baby's eyes during delivery. These bacteria can cause symptoms of conjunctivitis in babies within the first 2 weeks of life, and both can lead to serious eye damage. Less commonly, the viruses that cause genital and oral herpes can similarly be passed to an infant at the time of delivery and may also damage the eyes.

My view is, if I'm gonna be icked out, you're gonna be icked out. Its that simple.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:43 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I have reserved my ticket to London for mid-March. I am off to see a friend get married. Frankly, I always assumed he was gay, so this is kind of a nice surprise. He may still be gay, of course, but he's getting married anyway. And I have to be there. Unfortunately, my wife is not coming, so I will be off in London by myself. Automatically, that makes it less fun. It will be a busy trip. I have old friends to see -- buddies from law school who are there, friends from back in the day when I lived in London, my old fencing master who I just love, and all the wedding insanity, of course.

There are also some museums I have missed and some, very small, shopping to do.

I also just want to wander about and see some old buildings/friends and retrace my steps on some favorite old streets. I always need some quiet alone time in cities I've lived in before. I can have that quiet alone time with my wife along and actually prefer to have her along for that but I have to have it. Something about revisiting the scene of youthful indiscretions, misdemeanors if not quite crimes. I like to totter along and see if I left any part of myself there, if I'm quick enough, I might just find myself in a favorite old pub, or cul-de-sac. A younger me, with less gray in my hair and more optimism about the future, dressed impeccably having embraced the English bright shirt and tie thing, hurrying along imbued with the joy of living in London and being 25. I'm going to be looking for that guy. I don't think I'll see him, but I'm going to look.

I also want to go to SimpsonÂ’s on the Strand for breakfast one morning, if I can get a moment. Oh, and the book store. And maybe buy a tie. And get more perfume for my wife (a top priority)!

I have way too much to do in London. I feel pressed for time already. IsnÂ’t that ridiculous?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:22 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 You should just relax and view it as a nice opportunity to take a small breather from your hectic life. At least you'll be able to read a little on the plane!

Posted by: GrammarQueen at February 09, 2005 05:42 PM (glf8i)

2 "My old fencing master whom I just love. . ."???? Who's calling whom gay here?

Posted by: John Bruce at February 09, 2005 06:55 PM (FMHoj)

3 Well, I do love him. He was a mentor to me. Should I deny that for some reason? I can't imagine why. As for my friend who I thought was gay, it never bothered me that I thought he was gay, I just wished he'd sort of make up his mind because I figured he'd be happier if he did. He's a very dear friend and, as a matter of fact, I love him, too. Why else would I head off to London at great incovenience to watch him get married?

Posted by: RP at February 10, 2005 05:32 AM (X3Lfs)

4 Don't forget to put dinner and drinks with Helen on the list!

Posted by: Jim at February 10, 2005 05:45 AM (MDLz3)

5 Thank you Jim, I was beginning to feel neglected here. Now I feel like an imposition!

Posted by: Helen at February 10, 2005 07:49 AM (MmtAs)

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Having a job interview for a job far, far away, doing something different, but not radically different from what I do now, makes me feel a bit like a tourist in my own life, a visitor to a distant, but familiar land. Am I just browsing in this store? No thank you, to the clerk, just looking, you say.

You have the interview and it allows you to imagine, to project, to take a tour in your life -- what would my life be like here? What would it be like to uproot my family and take them across the country? How would I live there? Before it gets serious, before you get the call back to come and fly out, you become the tourist. What would it be like to live there? You browse some real estate listings and are stunned by the palaces you could buy for half the amount your house is worth now. What would it be like? You picture yourself living there and doing the work and that is tourism in your own life.

It works that way for house hunting, too, because there you actually picture yourself, sort of, living in another house with someone elseÂ’s furnishings. We did that all last weekend and will continue for part of this upcoming weekend.

I feel like I'm not being clear, but I get this sense of other worldliness when I take an interview and contemplate moving. A feeling like I'm visiting my life in a parallel universe, where, maybe, we can afford for one parent to stay home and where work on weekends is the exception and not the rule. Maybe its just a fantasy, you never know until they make you an offer. And until they make you an offer, you never have to really ask yourself any of the tough questions, you can just sort of gloss over the inconveniences and the difficulties, not to mention the potential trauma in uprooting everyone.

That's why I'm a tourist. Its my life, but sometimes, I'm really just visiting.

Make any sense to anyone?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:43 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 Perfectly clear to me. I felt that way more often when I was a practicing archaeologist, and doing things that were at odds with my "normal" life the rest of the year. Of course, now that I have switched careers, I still feel like a visitor at times.

Posted by: Mandalei at February 09, 2005 06:15 PM (PibH1)

2 Yup, I had the same feeling when we were looking into moving down here to Atlanta. What's weirder is when you go back home and feel like a tourist again.

Posted by: Jim at February 10, 2005 05:42 AM (MDLz3)

3 Well, I'm glad it was clear. It felt like I had not exactly acheived a model of clarity with this post!

Posted by: RP at February 10, 2005 09:45 AM (LlPKh)

4 Perfectly clear to me, too. And.. erm... Welcome to the neighborhood?!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 10, 2005 11:28 PM (FVav8)

5 Thanks, TS!

Posted by: RP at February 11, 2005 09:41 AM (LlPKh)

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Happy Mardi Gras, y'all!

Today, in New Orleans, Mardi Gras rushes to its conclusion as thousands of people take their clothes off and either simulate or actually have sex in public in the French Quarter. There are many Mardi Gras celebrations in New Orleans. They don't all revolve around the French Quarter madness. Some are more family based with small kids. Some are more old fashioned.

Most people have this notion that Mardi Gras exists only for one day, or perhaps the weekend before, and that's it, just a bacchanalia. But that's not true.

Mardi Gras begins on the Twelfth Night of Christmas in New Orleans with the Krewe of the Twelfth Night as they "parade" in a street car up St. Charles Avenue. And from then on, it gets serious and most outsiders have no idea.

I'm talking about balls. White tie and tails at least twice a week during the season. Black tie begins to feel like dressed down. Balls where women actually wear ball gowns and gloves and where the after parties are great, even if the majority of them are at the New Orleans Country Club or Yacht Club. I used to go to way too many of these things, usually with a Committee Man Invitation, which meant I wasn't a spectator up in the balcony of the ball and I wasn't masked for the ball in the Krewe (although I was a member of one Krewe) but I could dance after the first couple of songs and I could bring dates. I miss the balls.

I also miss the house parties. Picture these glorious ante bellum houses thrown open with bars and food and you would wander, in the Garden District, up and down St. Charles, ducking into various parties, eating a little, visiting a little, drinking a little, borrowing a bathroom (yay!), and visiting some more. And drinking some more. And maybe just a little bit more after that. The hosts were always gregarious and hospitable and you always knew them or the people you were with had known them for years. It was so comfortable and such a tremendous way to see Mardi Gras. Maybe the best way.

I also miss the Marching Krewes. They used to march from bar to bar Uptown where we lived. And there was a decrepit little bar across from our house where I think that the average age of the patrons may have been deceased or just shy of it. And the marchers used to come on by all morning. It was really very friendly.

Of course, actually, a lot of natives fled the City and today are probably on the beach in Florida or skiing in Colorado.

So, in honor of Mardi Gras, I gotta ask, as I used to do when I rode the floats myself, and women would ask for the really nice beads:

Hey! Show me your breasts!!!

And someone please get me a Hurricane. Damn, I miss New Orleans.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:07 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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1 (.)(.) There's yer boobies. I'm going to be going to new Orleans next month, any must sees??

Posted by: Holly at February 08, 2005 09:28 AM (Wkg+N)

2 Thanks, Holly! I will send you my list of things to do, see and eat later today or tomorrow!

Posted by: RP at February 08, 2005 09:55 AM (LlPKh)

3 I'll show you mine if you show me yours...

Posted by: C at February 08, 2005 08:04 PM (vhWf1)

4 Their here, can't you see them?? If not , get some glasses. One of my many fond memories of Nawlins' was having a szarac(only hard whiskey I care to drink) in the Court of the Three Sisters while needlepointing. Then listening to Banu Gibson. The best!!

Posted by: Azalea at February 08, 2005 10:02 PM (hRxUm)

5 "C" said what I was gonna say. *snicker* I guess you really DO know what it means to miss New Orleans. (You KNEW someone was gonna say it.) The way you describe it, I can see the charm. The bacchanalia in the streets I ain't so sure I'd be comfortable in. No, I'm damned sure I wouldn't like it. I'm long past the getting drunk for getting drunk's sake stage and I am monumentally nervous in crowds. Especially drunken hordes.

Posted by: Margi at February 09, 2005 01:38 AM (zalxZ)

6 I miss New Orleans, too, and I've never been...

Posted by: Jester at February 09, 2005 04:16 AM (yS8Mo)

7 I've been to New Orleans several times. My ex-employer had its annual bash for customers there several years running. Each year, a few female employees would be summarily dismissed for "disrobing in public", as the company phrased it. One of my fondest memories is the shrubs growing out of the tops of brick building walls. It was hard to find anything to look at there that wasn't picturesque. I remember an early visit where, having gotten off the plane on a Sunday afternoon and not on duty until the next day, I went down to the hotel bar. I knew the South and wondered if there was any Sunday restriction on what I could buy. "What?" the bartender asked. "This is New Orleans. Anything you want, any day, any time of day." He served up a very good bourbon and soda. Even the mid-range bourbon somehow tasted better in New Orleans. Now I realize I've got to get back there!

Posted by: John Bruce at February 09, 2005 12:09 PM (DjxFm)

8 Well, Margi and C, this is how it works, you show me yours and I give you beads. Not just any beads, mind you, but the really nice ones, the ones we used to refer to as titty beads. Azalea, I loved the Court of the Two Sisters for brunch. You ought to try the brandy milk punch next time. Jester, you would love New Orleans. Just love it. John, I also feel like it has been too long. There is just something about the place that causes women to take off their clothes in public!

Posted by: RP at February 09, 2005 01:30 PM (LlPKh)

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Erotic frescoes from Pompeii have been unveiled today. Discovered in the 1950's, they are finally being put on public display, despite their strong sexual content. Go check it out. To skip the article and go straight to the pictures, like you would if it was a real life dirty magazine, click here.

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We're hunting wabbits! We loaded our SUV with equipment, children and snacks for said children, picked up a trusty native guide, and set off in search of game. In short, we did some house hunting this weekend. It was both interesting and annoying.

First, to all you real estate brokers out there: Stop calling them homes. I supply the home, you supply the house. The house is what we are shopping, tentatively, for. We will put the home in the house. The house is merely the wrapper for the home.

Second, when asked a question about a negative aspect of the community. Don't over sell me. Don't say, "I can't deny that X is a problem", and then go right ahead and finesse it or deny it. That behavior just makes me suspicious. You see, I am trained to ask questions and listen carefully to the answers. That is a big part of what litigation is all about. Ask, listen, and test the answer against what you know or think you know or the common sense understanding you have of the rhythm of the transaction in order to pick up on discordant notes. So, when you elide an issue, Ms. Broker, it trips that spidey sense and makes me question your candor and listen more carefully. I don't particularly enjoy that.

Finally, house hunting is both exhilarating, mildly, and sobering, majorly. You can get more for your money if you move out of overpriced suburb close to NY City and move to overpriced suburb farther from NY City, but you need to spend more, too. It is kind of exhilarating to see all the new space and the greater amount of space and the amount of land and to imagine yourself living in it. It is sobering to realize how much money is required to do so. Other parts of the country have it better in this regard, there is no doubt. For instance, Fort Worth, Texas. I could buy a five bedroom house in Fort Worth for a lot less than what I am spending in the NY metropolitan area.

You know what? I think that someone, somewhere, knows I am thinking about selling my house. I've just spent the last 20 minutes on the phone and off the phone with the plumber, authorizing him to put in a new hot water heater in the house. The old one has just dumped a quarter inch of water in my basement. How come I couldn't get away with the old one for, say, another three or four months? Also, how come I never have a problem with this house under the four figure range? Huh? Why is that?

Frustration level with house: High.

I miss my apartment in the City. I really do. A nice superintendent. I was a more equal pig than others since I was the Vice President of the Co-op Board and always was attended to promptly. I sure do miss that. *sigh*

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:38 AM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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1 Been in your shoes RP. Hang in there!

Posted by: Wicked H at February 07, 2005 10:58 AM (iqFar)

2 Been there too. It's tough. I know you'll find what you need and want. Be patient. Keep being picky; the right house will appear! :-)

Posted by: Amber at February 07, 2005 01:52 PM (zQE5D)

3 Are you saying that replacing a hot water heater cost you four figures? Yikes! Maybe you shouldn't call a local plumber. I'll bet a plumber from my area would gladly make the trip and do the job for less than half of that.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 07, 2005 09:14 PM (DLwY5)

4 Thanks, y'all. Everything is a trade off, unless you have unlimited resources. We don't really have that. What the heck, life goes on!

Posted by: RP at February 08, 2005 09:57 AM (LlPKh)

5 As a member of the legal community in Fort Worth (I work for the largest firm in the county and will finish law school in May), I say come on down!

Posted by: David at February 08, 2005 01:31 PM (8MmTs)

6 Thanks, Dave! I'll let you know how things turn out in that regard. I suppose I'll know a little bit better tomorrow.

Posted by: RP at February 08, 2005 01:57 PM (LlPKh)

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People say that when something bad is happening, its like time slows down and they can see every aspect of the bad thing right down to the texture of the paint on the car or whatever. They say that, while they are powerless to change the outcome, it all goes so slowly.

Not always, I discovered.

Sometimes, it is almost over before you know it.

I fell today while carrying my son. I fell on some black ice while turning from the sidewalk into my driveway. I fell so fast that I didn't realize I was falling until I was already down. Nothing slowed down for me; it all sped up. The Boy Child fell from my arms, missing the concrete retaining wall by six or eight inches and went belly up onto the gravel driveway. He was just a little scared, not hurt at all. I was up to get him so fast that I didn't even realize I had cut my elbow or that I had even come down on my elbow. I just wanted to see if he was ok. Only later did I realize that I had hurt myself, my hip, my elbow, my back, and really given a wrench to my left shoulder and arm, the side I was carrying him on when I went down.

I expect I will be pretty darn sore tomorrow. But the Boy Child is ok and that was really all that mattered to me.

It was just so fast. Me on my side looking at him face down on the gravel. I've had better days. I just hope that, with respect to my boy, I don't have worse.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:37 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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1 Ouch. I hope it's not too bad tomorrow. I know exactly what you mean though - you don't feel the pain until you see the child isn't hurt. When Bear was 1 1/2 he had a fall down our stairs. Completely my fault - I was at the top encouraging him to climb up to me. He was bubbly with excitement and stopped to clap his hands. Unfortunately there was nothing under his butt when he sat down and he tumbled backwards. I jumped from the top landing to the bottom one with a slight contact about half way down. I landed at the bottom on one foot and a knee. The stairs were padded and carpeted and about as dangerous as a stiff accent pillow. He was fine. I checked him over and calmed him down. I picked him up and started to stand up and then fell back on my ass. The knee didn't work. At that point I felt the pain. It was the size of a melon within an hour. If we could bottle parents' child-in-danger anxiety endorphins we'd have the most potent pain killers the world has ever known.

Posted by: Jim at February 05, 2005 10:41 PM (MDLz3)

2 i am so glad to hear the boy child is alright. i can only say - i can begin to imagine that feeling. i am also glad to hear...you weren't hurt too badly. i hope this morning finds you achingless than you thought you would.

Posted by: standing naked at February 06, 2005 07:33 AM (IAJcf)

3 Glad to hear Boy Child is alright and wishing you a speedy recovery.

Posted by: Wicked H at February 06, 2005 12:48 PM (BQhBn)

4 OUCH - Good to hear your son is OK. RICE - Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation.

Posted by: Mark at February 06, 2005 01:24 PM (jSnvf)

5 Thank god you're alright! Black ice can do that to you... now I bet that if you had slipped down a hill for 20 meters, things would have gone in slow motion. But black ice is all about... surprise tactics. Take care of yourself... and hoping your not too sore to continue typing...

Posted by: Philippe Roy at February 07, 2005 12:54 AM (nGiV1)

6 I too am glad your son is ok. But you did show off the bruises as war wounds to the Mrs, right? Ask for a kiss for the boo-boos, ask to have breakfast brough to you in bed? I would've done that. Those have "wounds of bravery" written all over them, especially since you were so concerned about your son you didn't even realize you had hurt yourself. I think it commands rewards, should you ask.

Posted by: Helen at February 07, 2005 06:13 AM (y74Wc)

7 Oh Random! So glad the BC is okay. And you too. Those things happen. :-( That doesn't make it any easier, knowing that, but it does happen. Always made my heart stop.

Posted by: Amber at February 07, 2005 01:51 PM (zQE5D)

8 Whew. So glad you're both okay. Wow. I can't imagine how you felt when you looked over at him. Again, happy you're okay.

Posted by: C at February 07, 2005 09:10 PM (UvR2t)

9 Great that the BC is fine and hopefully you're not to achy. Perhaps a slip and fall seems not to happen in slow motion because when we fall we a) are surprised, and b) don't feel a force acting on us so we can't make sense of it; our minds go blank until the ground slams up into us. I dunno. A couple of weeks ago I was walking, at night, along a poorly lit sidewalk and carrying to heavy bags of groceries. I got to spot where a tree root had pushed the black pavement up quite a few inches. I didn't see it, and my left foot was stopped cold and then my right. My upper body and the groceries were still moving forward at a brisk pace, of course, and I tried to get my feet under me. I moved them faster and faster, which only thrusted my upper body faster and faster and with a split second I running forward with my feet not quite under me yet. I finally had to just drop the bags, fall forward and land on my back. Slo-mo all the way. Never felt a thing except po'd at the sidewalk!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at February 07, 2005 09:39 PM (DLwY5)

10 Thanks very much for all the comments, stories, and expressions of concern. Everyone is fine. My arm and shoulder are still sore, but are getting better every day. It really was very kind of you all to chime in. I actually had considered closing comments on this post because I did not want to be seen as fishing for sympathy. I'm glad I didn't as I enjoyed the comments very much.

Posted by: RP at February 08, 2005 09:59 AM (LlPKh)

11 I found this website because I did a search on "seeing in slow motion." My Dad experienced this twice in his life. The first time was a rather mundane event; my sister knocked a bowl of ice cream of the table, and he saw it fall in slow motion, and then grabbed it and put it back on the table. The second time, he was running behind my other sister as she was riding a bike for the first time. She fell down, though, and he thought as he was running, "Oh no, I'm going to trample her!" Then he started seeing things in slow motion and was able to jump over her. My sister remembers seeing him jump over her, and he was literally airborne - arms stretched forward and legs back like Superman flying in the movies, but only three feet in the air. It's almost like the first incident was a test run, to make sure it would work, so the second event would definitely be avoided.

Posted by: Derrick Campbell at June 23, 2005 12:41 AM (cM93H)

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For a number of reasons, none of which I have time to go into here, I have spent some precious minutes today reading Congressional Medal of Honor citations. These are extraordinary documents describing extraordinary Americans performing extraordinary deeds. I could never imagine myself, under the circumstances, performing as superlatively as these Americans have. The Medal of Honor is given to individual members of the United States armed forces who demonstrate conspicuous valor in action against an enemy force. The citations make for compelling reading and it is hard to tear yourself away from them, but they all have one thing in common: courage. Imagine, if you will, how you would have reacted if you were Navy Corpsman Donald E. Ballard:

BALLARD, DONALD E.

Rank and organization: Hospital Corpsman Second Class, U.S. Navy, Company M, 3d Battalion, 4th Marines, 3d Marine Division. Place and date: Quang Tri Province, Republic of Vietnam, 16 May 1968. Entered service at: Kansas City, Mo. Born: 5 December 1945, Kansas City, Mo. Citation: For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life and beyond the call of duty while serving as a HC2c. with Company M, in connection with operations against enemy aggressor forces. During the afternoon hours, Company M was moving to join the remainder of the 3d Battalion in Quang Tri Province. After treating and evacuating 2 heat casualties, HC2c. Ballard was returning to his platoon from the evacuation landing zone when the company was ambushed by a North Vietnamese Army unit employing automatic weapons and mortars, and sustained numerous casualties. Observing a wounded marine, HC2c. Ballard unhesitatingly moved across the fire swept terrain to the injured man and swiftly rendered medical assistance to his comrade. HC2c. Ballard then directed 4 marines to carry the casualty to a position of relative safety. As the 4 men prepared to move the wounded marine, an enemy soldier suddenly left his concealed position and, after hurling a hand grenade which landed near the casualty, commenced firing upon the small group of men. Instantly shouting a warning to the marines, HC2c. Ballard fearlessly threw himself upon the lethal explosive device to protect his comrades from the deadly blast. When the grenade failed to detonate, he calmly arose from his dangerous position and resolutely continued his determined efforts in treating other marine casualties. HC2c. Ballard's heroic actions and selfless concern for the welfare of his companions served to inspire all who observed him and prevented possible injury or death to his fellow marines. His courage, daring initiative, and unwavering devotion to duty in the face of extreme personal danger, sustain and enhance the finest traditions of the U.S. Naval Service.

Extraordinary, isn't it?

One problem with reading these is that you will be struck by how many of these men bear an asterisk next to their name, indicating that the award of posthumous.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 12:49 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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The main opposition party in Zimbabwe, the Movement for Democratic Change, has announced that, "with a heavy heart", it intends to take part in the upcoming "elections".

Mugabe has done his level best to corrupt this electoral process and the Telegraph has a good article about this, from which I extract the following:

[MDC Party Spokesman] Mr Nyathi said: "The media remains muzzled. Free assembly is proscribed. The shambolic voters' roll continues to be the principal vehicle for electoral fraud. Constituency boundaries have been subjectively gerrymandered, while militias and militia bases continue to multiply and international observers continue to be unwelcome."

The MDC fought its first election in 2000, only nine months after it was formed, and won nearly half of the 120 seats in parliament after a violent run-up to polling.

Even Zimbabwe's partisan judiciary found that Mr Mugabe's Zanu-PF had won at least eight seats unfairly. More than 30 legal challenges to the results are outstanding.

In 2002 the leader of the MDC, Morgan Tsvangirai, was cheated of victory in the presidential election secretly run and manipulated by scores of army officers. He has spent nearly half of his five years as opposition leader under virtual house arrest on treason charges. Although western observers condemned the election as unfair, South Africa's crucial voice prevailed after its observers declared the poll legitimate.

New laws for the March 31 election allow the military to run both the voting and the counting.

Most MDC MPs have been detained, tortured, beaten up or deprived of their possessions since the party became the first to mount a serious challenge to Mr Mugabe's iron grip on power.

One of its most popular MPs, Roy Bennett, who has been frequently tortured and is serving a year in jail for pushing over Patrick Chinamasa, the justice minister, in parliament, has been chosen by his supporters to represent them again from prison.

I rarely get comments on the Zimbabwe posts but I feel, just the same, a sense of moral urgency to keep writing about it.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 12:35 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Yesterday, I posted my thoughts about time and it really isn't money and I received, thank you very much, some very thoughtful and interesting comments. By the way, I heart comments and especially the excellent comments y'all left yesterday.

But here is another way to look at time and its value: Through the eyes of the lawyer who bills by the hour (I am reproducing the contents of that page below the fold here just in case the link stops being live, for whatever reason): more...

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:40 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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How often have you heard that? A lot, if you live in NY, I bet. But is it really true? I was kicking the thought around this morning and decided I'd write about it to see if I couldn't come up with a more disciplined result. As one old professor of mine once said, you don't know anything until you write it down.

First, you can save money but you can't save time. Saving money makes sense. Spend less, put more money in the bank or the market, and watch it, hopefully, grow and maybe even compound. Time, on the other hand, you can't save. You can rush around all you want, get stressed about making a deadline or catching an earlier train, all with the over riding goal of being more efficient and saving time. Well, what do you do with the time you save? You can't put it in a bottle (thank you, Mr. Croce), you can't store it up until a more convenient moment. It won't grow like money does in the bank. No, you can't really save time. Consequently, I suppose, you need to live more in the moment. You need to live fully and thoughtfully so that you can extract the maximum amount of value from the time you do have. It is a finite amount, after all, you just don't know how finite.

Second, if time were money, or at least a commodity, you'd have to be able to value it. How much money, I was wondering, would it be worth to me to buy time? Let's say I had a million dollars. How much of that million would I spend to buy an extra hour of life? An extra hour to say goodbye or visit with my loved ones. What is that worth? A lot? A little? Let's complicate things. What if, in making this calculation, you know that your heirs apparent need this money that you will be leaving behind. Does that factor into your calculations about how much your hour is worth to you? Is this too hard? What about buying an extra five minutes? Is that worth less? How do you assign a value to time?

Let's try something easier, something market driven. Travel costs. Travel costs are often a matter of assigning a monetary value to time. Flights at undesirable times often cost less, right? The reason seems clear, to entice you to fly when no one wants to. But what is it worth to you to fly at an inconvenient time? How much are you willing to spend in order to have more time at the office to prepare for a meeting, or to arrive at a more convenient time at your destination so that you are rested for the upcoming event? Hundreds? Maybe. A thousand? Who knows, right? Depends on the circumstances. But what if the timing of the flight may mean the difference between spending time with an aging relative who you may not get to see again. How much is that worth to you when you run your little balance sheet calculations? Can you put a value on the time? Sure. Its the difference in cost between the convenient ticket and the inconvenient ticket. The market set that price difference, but what is it worth to you to pay it?

Beats me. I don't have any answers. Well, maybe I have one answer. Time is precious, even if I can't set a price for it. And good health is beyond price. So, spend some time, time you can't save anyway, tending to your health. Go to the gym, get a physical (you know, the one you've been putting off), and eat smarter. This may turn out to be a big dividend paying investment as the years roll on.

Did this post make any sense to anyone?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:54 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Seems like its been a long time since I did a good, annotated Today in History post, so:

Born Today:

*1368 Charles VI, also known as Charles the Mad, King of France (1380-1422)
*1809 Felix Mendelssohn-Bartholdy Hamburg Germany, composer and grandson of Moses Mendelssohn, a famous philosopher
*1811 Horace Greeley editor of the Tribune and important Civil War era figure, also known for saying: "Go west, young man"
*1826 Walter Bagehot England, economist/sociologist. If you've ever read the Economist, you've wondered about who he was!
*1830 Robert Cecil Marquess of Salisbury, British PM (1885-1902), built Hatfield House
*1894 Norman Rockwell US, artist/illustrator. Click on this link to see "Marine Homecoming", one work that has special resonance right now, I think. I hope every Marine comes home soon.
*1898 Alvar Aalto Finland, architect, links to buildings
*1904 Charlie "Pretty Boy" Floyd (long bio at link) FBI Most Wanted criminal
*1909 Simone Weil Paris, mystic/social philosopher/all around odd ball
*1945 Bob Griese one of my favorite all time quarterbacks (Miami Dolphins, 1971 Player of Year)

Died today:

*1468 Johann Gensfleisch Gutenberg dies
*1889 Belle Starr legendary Bandit Queen, murdered at 40.
*1924 Woodrow Wilson 28th President (1913-21), dies at his home in Washington at 67
*1959 The Day the Music Died: The Big Bopper [Jiles Perry Richardson]; Buddy Holly; and, Richie Valens killed in plane crash in Iowa.

Interesting Events Today:

*1653 Cardinal Jules Mazarin returns to Paris from exile
*1660 General Moncks army reaches London after marching from Coldstream and thus puts Charles II on the throne and insures a return to civil liberty
*1690 1st paper money in America issued (colony of Massachusetts)
*1882 Circus owner PT Barnum buys his world famous elephant Jumbo from the London Zoo for $10,000, later killed by a train
*1917 US liner Housatonic sunk by German sub & diplomatic relations severed. This link is to the actual log of the German U-Boat commander who describes, under February 3, the sinking of the "steamer".

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did researching it!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:22 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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