After the night before last, during which I believe almost no sleep was obtained, and only twenty two days after giving birth to our new son, my wife went twenty one minutes on the elliptical trainer machine.

So tough. She laughed, almost spitting her tooth paste out, when I told her that she totally shaved off 3, maybe 4, ounces.

Did I mention how beautiful she is, too?

She's gonna need every ounce of that tough, by the way, since her mother arrives today for a three week visit.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:44 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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I am certain that I am not the only person out there who is actively engaged in a conversation with himself. It isn't out loud, mind you. It is sort of a quiet undertone kind of thing inside my head as I "talk" to myself about observations and the world around me. Calling it a conversation gives it too much gravitas, actually. Its more like a stream of consciousness babble that I only sort of pay attention to. Kind of like just not being able to turn my brain off. It gets more active the more tired I am. I have been tired for some time now, of course.

Here's one observation I thought I'd share it with you here. I was walking through one of the secondary passageways in Grand Central, on the way to my train and observed to myself that when the gentle smell of feces wafts its way into your nose, the following thought sotto voce intrudes into your babbling dialogue: "Please let that smell be from a dog and not a person. Please."

Thus proving that I have been in this city for too long.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:03 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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1 Ew. TMI. Thanks for sharing....

Posted by: Wicked H at April 27, 2006 10:40 AM (iqFar)

2 While certainly not the voice of absolute reason, that inner voice has assisted me in avoiding many a manslaughter charge... It's that voice of a kindler, gentler, far more forgiving wannabe me. ; )

Posted by: Christina at April 27, 2006 12:19 PM (z2S93)

3 I'd be thinking the same of you, RP. But also thinking, "Let it be on someone else's shoe, not mine!" But, of course, I'm from the country.

Posted by: Roberta S at April 27, 2006 02:11 PM (SKpFW)

4 Oh no, is this what I have to look forward to? Have you any idea how CLEAN Australia is? And at worst, how clean and beautiful Canberra is? *grins* Its nothing I did not expect. Oh what an adventure...

Posted by: Zya at April 27, 2006 10:33 PM (o19Kc)

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. . . because it is your alarm clock and you have to get out of bed now. Right now. No screwing around. Get up!!!

Or not.

I am a creature of routine and habit, at least in the morning. That alarm goes off every weekday at 4:40 and I take the 5:17 train into the city. From there, I head straight to the gym for about an hour and a half to two hours of exercise and then to the office. This is my regular morning thing. I am like the milkman's horse. I just get up and go. I have it down to the point where it is more difficult not to go to the gym than it is to go to the gym.

But not today. Today, that alarm clock went off and I turned it off and went back to sleep for another hour and a half. About the same amount of time as a workout, come to think of it.

The baby is having bad and painful gas. He was up, I think, a lot last night. All I know for sure is that the Viking Bride never returned to the marital bed last night. That's not to say that I slept all alone, because I didn't; the Boy Child came in sometime in the middle of the night to cuddle and sleep with me. I escorted him back to his own bed after a lovely cuddle. He believes that the rule is that if our door is open, he can come into bed with us. And he's basically right.

The baby's gas pains were somehow soothed for little while after I picked him up and, holding him to my chest, began kissing him on his neck and collar bone. Three quick little kisses without taking my face from his neck. He stopped crying, seemed to really like it, and feel asleep on my chest for a bit until the internal pain woke him again.

We are all very tired and I have been burning the candle at both ends. Getting up at 4:40 all week and not going to bed until 11:40 -- filling the intervening period with court appearances and oral arguments, contentious board meetings and rancorous and difficult phone consultations regarding the same, hosting a dinner for 90 at which I had to speak (at three different points during the event), and otherwise just trying to stay on top of things generally.

So when that bell called this morning for this fighter to step into the ring, he did the only thing he could do -- he turned it off.

May I ask for your kind thoughts, by the way? My mother in law arrives for a three week visit tomorrow. Any good energy / nice thoughts you can send my way would be fine.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:13 AM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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1 The phinlet had gas going for a while and damn is rough. Will keep sending happy thoughts and saying prayers.

Posted by: phin at April 27, 2006 08:35 AM (Xvpen)

2 You got it!! Every good thought is being sent your way. (call us if necessary, if even only for a drink).

Posted by: Mandalei at April 27, 2006 09:23 AM (LcyhB)

3 The Lawd preserve us from MIL hell. I'm with you, bro'.

Posted by: Robert the Llama Butcher at April 27, 2006 09:57 AM (IkTb7)

4 Stop beating yourself up for sleeping in. You can take one morning off from ruling the world (and having extra bufflicious abs ). Good luck with the MIL. Happy thoughts for an unventful visit are on the way.

Posted by: Kathy at April 27, 2006 10:28 AM (cipZl)

5 Motion for Mother-in-law to pull the 6 pm to 6 am baby duty shift. Do I hear a second? ; )

Posted by: Christina at April 27, 2006 12:21 PM (z2S93)

6 Second! She'll probably insist on it anyway. Grammas are like that. And how the heck do you do what you do all week on five hours of sleep a night? Crikey, My eyes are still burning tired if I get up after six or even seven hours.

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 27, 2006 02:33 PM (/EYHx)

7 Happy thoughts I have are going your way! Good luck

Posted by: Zya at April 27, 2006 10:31 PM (o19Kc)

8 Good luck with it all. The thing I dread most when I think about a new baby is the lack of sleep in the beginning. And at least I get to stay in my pjs for a month or so, if I want to.

Posted by: Jordana at April 28, 2006 09:08 AM (KEY2r)

9 It won't be forever, this gas and problems... soon you'll be able to sleep normally again! I'm sure you'll manage to pull through.

Posted by: Hannah at May 02, 2006 04:54 AM (ImQx2)

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I had a bit this weekend. I looked deep into the abyss that is my dark heart and realized that I am not a hitter. I am not going to hit my children. I will not spank them. I am not going to do that bullshit thing that my dad did. You know, the "this is going to hurt me more than it will you" thing. I always used to tell him, that if that was true, why didn't we just skip it? I'd still get spanked. I didn't get spanked a lot, mind you, but I did get it from time to time. I am absolutely 100% certain that I deserved each and every one of those smacks, too. But, I don't think I will be doing that to my kids.

I threatened them with it on Sunday, though. I told them, after they continued to run around the house and after I told them to stop. I told them that since they had just broken the crystal bowl I was given from my much beloved, now dead, grandmother, that I would spank them if they didn't listen to me and if I had to tell them something again twice.

But, here's the thing. I can't do it. I won't do it; not over this. I might give them a swat in the parking lot if they tried to get away from me and thus scared the living hell out of me. But to just whack 'em for not obeying?

No. I can't do it. I won't have my children look at me fearfully. I told them, too, that I was changing my mind, that I wouldn't spank them for not listening to me, at least, not automatically. I do want to leave a small area of doubt. But when I sat back and thought about it, I realized that I can not just cold bloodedly, at this stage, put them over my lap and hit them. Laps are for cuddling. Laps are for hugging and for squeezing and sometimes for tickling. Laps are not for hitting. Cold blooded, by the way, because I never, ever want to be the person who physically corrects his kids in anger -- that's a disaster waiting to happen.

I don't know how my dad managed to make himself do it. I don't mind at all that he spanked me since, like I said, I bet I drove him to it. I was a bit of a terror and had a mighty smart mouth on me. But I just can't see myself doing it.

Especially to my daughter. I don't want her to EVER think that any man has the right to put his hands on her violently. EVER. End of discussion there.

So, where does that leave me? Where I started -- enforcing discipline through a consistent application of the rules so that the kids know where the limits are, where the boundary markers lay, what my very, very clear expectations are for their behavior. I don't want to force adherence to the rules out of fear, no matter how badly I want them to adhere. Some things may just not be worth it, some avenues are too likely to transform all of us in ways I am just not comfortable with.

So, I put the hand back in my pocket. You see, the next time I take my hand from my pocket, I don't want my kids to flinch when I go to stroke their hair, which I do a lot.

All bets are off when they get to be teenagers, of course. Although, by that time, its probably way too late.

And by the way, I reserve the right to change my mind as circumstances require. After all, grand pronouncements of parenting rarely, if ever, survive contact with a real, live child.

Hope some small part of that above ramble made sense.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:37 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 Yes, it made total sense. :-) I was spanked two times by my dad when I was fairly little. Once around 4 or 5, I think and the other time I think I was 8. This was in the sixties and there simply weren't any dads around that didn't spank. I felt fortunate that that's all I had ever gotten compared to most of my friends. Each time was formal and I'd "deserved" it. And as you say, yes, it did make me fear my dad but it didn't stop me from doing the behavior. (The first one was mouthing off to my mom when she was telling me it was time to get out of the tub, I think I threw a tantrum and the acoustics were very very loud and my dad was tired from work, you know the drill... and the other time I'd gone to the forbidden river not far from our home after having told the family I was too sick to go to church (cough cough) and gotten caught by Dad in the family car coming back from church. Ouch. It was dangerous down there and strictly forbidden. Yeah, I was resigned to my fate on that one. hehehehe) Now, my ex and I never spanked our kids, except for a swat here and there as you say. To get their attention so I could tell them to "go to their rooms" or whatever the discipline was. And that was the absolute limit of my patience, if I resorted to the swat. Yet, they grew up to be lovely human beings, honest taxpayers, good citizens and all that good stuff. :-) Despite never giving them corporal punishments. There are ways other than hitting. Basically, when the kids misbehaved, it fell into two large categories. They were choosing to do something wrong even though they knew it was wrong, or they were tired/sick/worried/upset/feeling misunderstood. In the "choosing" to do something wrong, it made much more sense to sit them down and talk about *why* it was wrong and get them to see the logic. But that's when they were older, of course, although your GC is old enough for that. When they are little, it's almost always because they are tired/upset/whatever. So you solve that situation and then almost magically, the "misbehavior" stops. Sometimes they just need to be alone for awhile. I think kids easily get sensory overload and it's up to the parents to step in and make them take a break so their little brains calm down. And yes, once they are teenagers, all bets are off; by then you want to strangle them. hehehe...And of course, this whole corporal punishment thing is undoable by that time. Little hellions. ;-P You're such a good Dad, RP. You have your head screwed on straight. Loved reading this. :-) (sorry for my "War and Peace" comment, but this touched me. :-)

Posted by: Amber at April 25, 2006 11:14 AM (zQE5D)

2 This whole post proves that you're a thoughtful, caring, loving father. This part? And by the way, I reserve the right to change my mind as circumstances require. After all, grand pronouncements of parenting rarely, if ever, survive contact with a real, live child. Proves that you live in the real world. I've no doubt that your children will grow "straight" and fine and that there will be no fear involved.

Posted by: Margi at April 25, 2006 03:08 PM (BRtaN)

3 RP, I am so moved by what you have written here. I honor you for a wisdom born out of love that far surpasses that of any child expert.

Posted by: Roberta S at April 26, 2006 02:45 AM (L8ijd)

4 Well put, sir! I personally don't think there is one easy plan for all kids as they are all different. Sticking to your guns is the biggest thing, absolutely no backing down. I find my oldest behaves the best when you get down to his level, look him in the eye and explain things. And then if he's done something towards somebody we ask him to apologize. Surprisingly he goes back to being the nice kid that we know for a good chunk of time after that. Only in extreme times have we ever had to give him a slight swat on the butt, that's when all else fails and even timeouts and the other tactics aren't working. It's really more show than anything.

Posted by: Oorgo at April 26, 2006 02:20 PM (lM0qs)

5 Ya know, I read this post earlier today and I wasn't going to comment, because the whole "If thou don't have kiddos, thoust shouldn't comment about the raising of other people's kids" thing raised its ugly head. But I saw this same situation today as I walked past the local playground... I might give them a swat in the parking lot if they tried to get away from me and thus scared the living hell out of me.But to just whack 'em for not obeying? ...and I knew I had to comment, lack of parenthood be damned. For what it's worth, better the latter, and not the former, because with the former you're punishing your children primarily for how they made YOU feel, not for their behavior, when it's the latter, it's simply because of what they did, which, if one thinks about it is more just---if there is such a thing as "kiddie justice." All I can really ask is that you please, please PLEASE do not make your children responsible for YOUR emotions. I have a mother in law who did this to her son, the husband, REPEATEDLY, and it's a cause of much grief in his life. The first incident of this in is life was when he was four, he was taking a nap and his friends called him to come outside and play. Only problem with this scenario was that the husband's bedroom was on the second floor of their house. The husband was halfway out his bedroom window and onto the garage roof when his mother caught him. What did she say to him when she chastised him? "Don't ever do that again! You scared me to death!" She took a wooden spoon to him as well to reinforce the message. She never once said, "You could have hurt yourself" "You weren't supposed to be up from your nap" or whatever the rational reasoning was. She was paralyzed by her fear of losing her child---which was rational---but in the process she made her child responsible for her, an adult's, emotions, which is not rational. This is where his anxiety issues started, and the anxiety is what led him to self-medicate with alcohol, which, when you're an alcoholic, isn't such a great thing. I can't tell you how many checks I've written to pay therapy bills. Now, obviously, no everything your parents do causes you to go into therapy and I'm not saying for an instant that you would do this, RP, I'm just saying, well, I've seen how that plays out when it comes to adulthood, and it ain't good. Take it for what it's worth.

Posted by: Kathy at April 27, 2006 03:59 PM (cipZl)

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Today I am two years old. It almost slipped past me actually. But as of today, I have been blogging for two whole years now. In that time, I have had around 70,000 visitors, according to the not terribly accurate sitemeter. I have posted over 1000 entries. I have received, since moving to MuNu, over 4100 comments.

I set out, with my first post, to do the following:

My goal here is to create an outlet where I can comment on the things that piss me off, interest me, amuse me, or will do any of those three things to my readers. In short, this will be a general interest blog for catholic (with a small c) interests. I welcome your participation in my little experiment. I will be adding more later, including email contact information.

I think I have mostly succeeded in doing that. But what has made it all worthwhile is the comments I have received and the friendships that I have been fortunate enough to form with some of you.

Thanks for sticking with me these last two years! I'm off to have a long lunch and a short afternoon!

Pax tibi!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:15 AM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 ( to the tune of " They Say It's Your B-Day") They say it's your blogs b-day Happy Blogiversary to you! It is entirely our pleasure RP.

Posted by: Wicked H at April 21, 2006 10:50 AM (iqFar)

2 Time flies when you're mingling with golden folk. Ditto Wicked's comment. Our pleasure, indeed.

Posted by: Jennifer at April 21, 2006 11:39 AM (jl9h0)

3 Oooh! Happy Twosday! You get to wear the blogging equivalent of Pull-ups now!! And that would be waaaay more clever if I know whatinhell that equivalency would be. Heh. Happy happy, honey. You're a delight and I look forward to anything you publish into the ether that is a/k/a IntarwebNetAOL.

Posted by: Margi at April 21, 2006 12:22 PM (BRtaN)

4 Woo Hoo! Happy Blogiversary! Here comes the terrible twos...mwheh

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 21, 2006 03:44 PM (LmDCV)

5 Happy Day! Terrible twos eh? I'm a quakin' in me space boots.

Posted by: Oorgo at April 22, 2006 12:30 AM (1JIkb)

6 I'm late, but congratulations darlin'!

Posted by: Kathy at April 22, 2006 02:12 PM (cipZl)

7 Happy anniversary Sweetie. Let's see-two years, three kids, one trip where we had Lebanese food...yup, so far so good!

Posted by: Helen at April 23, 2006 02:02 PM (3c/UQ)

8 Happy belated! Keep up the good work.

Posted by: JohnL at April 24, 2006 09:18 PM (dYzx6)

9 As usual I'm a day late (or four) and a dollar short. Happy belated and many happy returns.

Posted by: phin at April 25, 2006 03:30 PM (Xvpen)

10 Happy B day!!

Posted by: Zya at April 27, 2006 10:22 PM (o19Kc)

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One of the great things about living in New England is the sense that history is just around every corner. I took a picture of the oldest house I've been able to find, so far. It is in Fairfield, CT and I think it is absolutely charming:

Want to guess how old it is?

Yup, about 1690. Fascinating, isn't it?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:28 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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In Michigan, a few days ago, a minor league baseball team did a cash drop to drum up attendance. They chucked $1000 out of a helicopter onto the field and let everybody run around to collect as much as their sticky little hands could hold. The problem was that two small children were injured. Not seriously injured -- a split lip on one and some bruising on the other. But the bruised one had to do to the hospital. Asked for a comment, the team PR flack said:

"It's for fun and games," spokeswoman Katie Kroft said. "This is why we have everybody sign a waiver."

I have to remember this bit of learning for the next birthday party. All kids have to sign waivers before they play "duck, duck, goose".

Seriously, isn't that a ridiculous comment?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:37 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Easy. Make it two toned.

As seen this morning at Madison and 40th Street, the Mercedes Maybach:

and

Yuck.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:00 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I wrote, this morning, a long letter of thanks to a friend, a Hasidic Jew who gave me a gift this year and a gift several years earlier. With some minor changes, I realized upon re-reading, it would make an excellent blog entry. And so:

Dear Friend,

Please excuse the fact that I am writing to you on my computer as opposed to by hand. I want you to be able to read my note, you see, and my handwriting would make that much more challenging than strictly necessary.

This is a long overdue note but, just the same, I write to thank you for the gift you made me of the _______ Haggadah some several years ago and for the gift you gave me of the matzah, this year.

As you may know, I now have three children: The Girl Child, age 5; The Boy Child, age 3; and, The New Addition some 10 days old now. I send the Girl Child and the Boy Child to preschool at the _____ Synagogue of ____ where, along with playground time, they receive the beginnings of a formal Jewish education. Frankly, their education is already probably better than what I was open to receiving. Indeed, I wish you could have heard the Girl Child sing the four questions at the Seder on Wednesday night in Hebrew. It was lovely and better than I could have.

As we were coming home from the Seder, the Girl Child told me that she did not want to have a second Seder on Thursday night. Well, I certainly wasnÂ’t going to push Jewish life on her. My view is that it needs to be a part of her life because she has been led to want it as a part of her life not because I have forced her into it. It may not be the right decision, at the end of the day, but I am doing the best I can. So, I acquiesced and told her that that would be fine and we could skip the second Seder.

Then I got home last night and, I am happy to report, was confronted with an angry and disappointed young lady who demanded to know why we were not having a second Seder. I explained to her that if she had wanted one, we would have been able to have one but that I had to prepare and would have had to have come home much earlier than I did. Her mother promised her that, with the seven days left to us, we would have a second Seder. She was mollified.

And so, I went to the bookshelves in my den. I knew that I would find there the only Haggadah I owned: The _____ Haggadah you had given to me. I took it from the shelf and put it in my bag to bring with me on the train for my commute so I could review it and make some appropriate selections from it for our second Seder. I had never, I must confess, looked at it beyond a sort of cursory fashion before but, I thought, it is a Haggadah and a Haggadah is exactly what I need.

I read through the first half of it this morning and, in one sitting, feel as if I have acquired a vastly different understanding of the Passover holiday, of the miracle of the Exodus, of the importance of it all to me as a Jew. It is a wonderful book, my friend, and, I am almost ashamed to say, I have already learned so much from it.

I did not realize that “the Children of Israel ‘were naked and bare’ -- they did not perform mitzvot in Egypt [and] [e]ven the mitzvah of circumcision was forgotten. When the time for the redemption finally arrived, G-d gave the Jews to mitzvot to perform: the Paschal Lamb and circumcision . . .” (citation omitted). I did not realize that it was, among other things, due to the performance of these two mitzvot that G-d redeemed our people from slavery in Egypt. This affected me greatly and I want to share with you why.

My newest son, the New Addition, named in blessed memory of my grandfather, _______ who died in December 2005, was born on April 5, 2006. We held my sonÂ’s bris on Wednesday, April 12, the morning of the first Seder. His circumcision was held the morning of the day on which we gathered to thank G-d for his redemption, just as the Haggadah recounts that our people were circumcised those thousands of years ago. With that beautiful ceremony, we were all privileged to share a connection with our fore-fathers as they too were circumcised and waited to be freed from slavery. I, obviously, did not realize the significance of the timing of the New AdditionÂ’s bris until I read the book you gave me. My grandfather would have known, I bet.

I was terribly moved by this wonderful occurrence and felt, as I felt when my wife was spared the devastation of September 11, 2001 because we were all at the mikvah for the conversion to Judaism ceremony for the Girl Child, that somehow G-d has welcomed my children into the covenant of his people, despite the fact that I married, for love, outside my faith.

Reading this Hagaddah that you gave me has given me greater insight into the holiday and spurred me on to want to know more and to study and to acquire more knowledge. And so, I write to thank you and to tell you that, in my view, you have performed a mitzvah. You have allowed me to learn and kindled within me the desire to learn more. You have made my Passover more significant, more meaningful and more important, less rote and more feeling and intellect. In short, maybe, you have helped me with your gift become a better Jew and a better guide to my children as they learn what it is to be a Jew. I will, I suspect, always think of you at Passover from now on.

While you gave me this gift several years back now, I think that it was only with this Passover that I actually received it. Thank you, my friend.

And while I thank you, thank you also for the wonderful matzah you gave my family and me. We will have it and eat it, in fulfillment of the laws of our people, at this second Seder that my daughter has now demanded that we hold.

With the fondest of thanks,

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:57 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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I have fulfilled my promise and played my role in the unbroken covenant dating back 3500 years to Abraham. My son has had his bris. He did beautifully, although my father had to be cautioned by the mohel to hold the boy's legs more firmly and a bit more carefully. The boy is rather strong, according to the mohel.

The attendance was low but the important ones managed to come.

I wore my grandfather's yarmulke for the ceremony. It was the first time I had put it on, ever. My grandmother had made it for him. He wore it all the time I knew him. The cantor said it was Bukharan in style, which I did not know. It was a difficult moment for me. The bris for the boy named for my grandfather and my wearing his yarmulke. I took it out of his tallis bag and closed the bag up. I had been delaying, coming up with reason after reason to avoid taking possession of these things from my mom. It doesnÂ’t take a genius to figure out why. But I wore it.

After the bris, we hung it with our guests and then went for a long lunch at our old beach club. The kids frolicked on the lawn next to the ocean. It was a spectacular day. I drove everyone back home for a little while and we returned to Westchester that evening for the Seder.

The Girl Child sang the four questions in Hebrew. She's five years old. She is now officially more accomplished than I am.

We didn't get home from the Seder until almost 10:00. We were all terribly tired. The children had not napped and I have not had a complete night's sleep in days, if not longer. I put them to bed and went to my room to unpack from the day.

It had been a momentous day. We welcomed our son into the world in a spiritual, ritual way and we celebrated the deliverance of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. It was quite a day.

I opened my grandfather's tallis bag to replace within it his, now my, yarmulke. I don't know why I did the following, what prompted me to do this, but I put my face to his tallis bag and inhaled.

He has been dead since December, my beloved grandfather. I miss him more than I can possibly relate. I thought I was doing better with his death.

But the tallis bag. Oh, my. The bag smelled of him. I could smell his particular scent in it still. The scent I used to smell when I hugged him or sat next to him. I can't describe it but it was ineluctably his, this scent. I closed the bag immediately and began to struggle not to cry. It was such a blow, such an unexpected punch to suddenly find him there in that bag, there in the room with me. I shut the bag quickly so I could, as if I really could, preserve the smell, not expose it to air, bottle it for later, hold on to that dear man for a little bit longer.

Right now, the scent was too much for me. I'm not going to tell my mother or uncles about it, I don't think. Maybe later it will be a comfort to me but right now that faint scent is overwhelming.

I miss him so much that I have given my son his name. Although, right now, I have difficulty calling my son by his given name. Instead, I call him by the nickname my daughter has bestowed upon him and I find that easier.

I'm going to hug that bag to my chest, you know, and pray for the time that it becomes a comfort to me and not a trial.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:23 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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I just slept for the last 40 minutes or so and am feeling marginally more human. It was an early start to the day (alarm at 3:40 a.m.) after a difficult night with the little guy, mostly difficult for my wife but I was up a bit, too. I had to get up so early to meet the new nanny at the airport at 5:20. It is about an hour's drive from her to Kennedy airport.

So, it was about 4:00 when I went downstairs this morning to quickly make some coffee before heading off and I heard some suspicious little feet pattering away upstairs. I went up to investigate and found the Boy Child and the Girl Child coming out of her room:

BC: Pappa, me so thirsty, me have some freshWAter, please?

GC: Pappa, he's really thirsty and wants some fresh water. My water on my night table is a little old.

Me: What was he doing in your room?

GC: Oh, he slept in my bed because he said he was scared.

I picked him up and carried him downstairs where I got him some fresh water and brought him back up and tucked him and the Girl Child back into her bed, hoping they'd get to sleep.

They didn't. I heard more footsteps moving around quickly upstairs.

Then my wife came down. Now, this is how you know you've married a good one, ok. It is just past 4:00 in the morning, your wife has been up and then asleep and then up and then asleep throughout the night, she has just been woken up by the other kids, and she reports to you with great humor:

You realize that you are leaving me all alone in the house with two members of the five and under crowd engaged in an active search upstairs for the prophet Elijah? At least, that's what they said they were looking for when they just came into our room and woke me up.

They are some lucky kids, I tell you. If I tried that, I'd have had some violence committed on my person.

The bris for the new guy, by the way, will be on Wednesday.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:02 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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I would say we've made a few changes for the Girl Child and Boy Child this weekend. We've brought home a new brother for them, fired the nanny (that went very well, actually), are bringing the new nanny in to start tomorrow, and have put the Boy Child in a big boy bed. The Boy Child is still wearing a diaper at night (age 3) because he keeps peeing in the night. The following is what transpired this morning when I crawled into bed with him to cuddle with him after he woke up:

Me: Did you pee in your diaper last night?

BC: Weeeel, I went to the potty a lot last night.

Me: Yes, but did you pee in your diaper?

BC: Mamma changed me last night [tone: earnest]

Me: Ok, but did you pee in your diaper?

BC: [sighs] Oh, dear. Maybe a lot.

I was so proud of him and his attempts to answer my questions without actually answering them. I think he's close to ready for national elective office.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 07:07 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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I blocked it all from my memory. How bad the incomplete night is. I didn't get the brunt of it, I just took the 1:00 to 2:30 shift when, remembering that I was going to have to watch the two older children, I passed the new guy back to his mother.

Everything hurts -- head, neck, back. Not to whine, because no matter how bad I feel I can guarantee that my wife feels worse.

Sitting here right now with the older kids, I made the Girl Child (age 5) laugh:

Me: Girl Child, your hair looks so pretty since we got it cut. She did such a nice job.

GC: No, it doesn't. It looks stupid.

Me: Yeah, but it looks pretty stupid!

She laughed really hard. Gotta love a 5 year old with a good sense of humor.

I have to go make more coffee. Bye.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:47 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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1 I see the humor gets exponentially worse compared to the hours of sleep. However, if it makes GC laugh, your job is done my friend. Everyone is home? That's great news! Hang in there family RP.

Posted by: Wicked H at April 08, 2006 10:29 AM (BQhBn)

2 I am glad everyone is at home and happy. Have a happy Pesach!!!!

Posted by: Rachel Ann at April 08, 2006 04:30 PM (oig97)

3 God bless the little ones!

Posted by: Andrew Cusack at April 09, 2006 05:09 AM (kxskO)

4 I'm having flashbacks. Argh! The key is to be a deeper sleeper than the missus. Or at least to learn to fake it real well. ;-)

Posted by: Jim at April 10, 2006 05:21 AM (oqu5j)

5 I feel for ya, RP, I'm in the same boat. I thought to myself "I'm too old for this!" the first night that he screamed most of the night. Fortunate for me my wife has been taking the brunt of it: 3-5 hour gaps between feeding, the nights where nothing calms him. It's only a few months (hopefully) and I'm confident you can stand it. We've got a couple more to go and we may be seeing the home stretch. Then there's the constant eye and the chasing and the...

Posted by: Oorgo at April 12, 2006 11:37 AM (lM0qs)

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Here I sit. Quite tired, a beer filled glass at my feet, the baby monitors buzzing quietly behind me, my equally tired children sleeping upstairs, and a gigantic pile of clean newborn sized baby laundry that I washed in between assembling the cradle, going to the pharmacy, returning client phone calls and family phone calls, cleaning the new baby's room and sorting all his clothes, and visiting the wife and new child (who I still don't know what to call for my blog).

The Boy Child and Girl Child shared a picnic dinner on the floor of the Viking Bride's room tonight. They had McDonald Happy Meals, beloved of children everywhere, and the wife and I shared a celebratory meal that the hospital gives all new parents. Quite good actually (seriously), although if you give birth at Greenwich Hospital any of you out there, I urge you not to bother opening the bottle of NY State Champagne. Don't say I didn't warn you, ok?

Hopefully, the new guy will get released tomorrow from the NICU, where he has been kept as his blood sugar has not been stellar and he is still quite a tiny little fellow. I am optimistic that they will allow us to bring him home tomorrow. They kick the Viking Bride to the curb by 11:00.

Well, the mound of laundry ain't folding itself, so I must go.

Before I go, though, thank you all for this unexpected outpouring of support and happiness and good wishes and all the wonderful thoughts you all were sending our way. Even if it didn't influence the outcome (no way to know, of course but I figure it surely didn't hurt), it certainly touched my heart and I am terribly grateful. Thank you all so very much.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:24 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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At 3:30 today, our newest son arrived in the world. I cried, just a little bit. He cried a bit more.

Mother and child appear to be just fine. The baby is in the NICU right now but, I hope, he will be out soon. They just want to make sure he's taking food properly and that his breathing is good. The Viking Bride has already been allowed to eat chocolate again and her blood pressure and other things are all back to normal again.

He's wicked cute and I love him already.

His brother and sister assured me that there was enough room in their hearts to include their new sibling.

And yes, he will be named for my grandfather who died in December.

Now, I go to sleep. I expect a good night's sleep for the first time in days.

Thank you all for your thoughts and support.

Bris will be held next Wednesday, according to the Mohel, who I just got off the phone with.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:49 PM | Comments (34) | Add Comment
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1 Oh, Joy! Thank you, God! Bless you all!! CONGRATULATIONS!! ; )

Posted by: Christina at April 05, 2006 08:54 PM (zJsUT)

2 Wonderful news! Welcome to the outside world, Boy Child #2! I'm so glad that the Viking Bride is recovering well too.

Posted by: Jordana at April 05, 2006 09:07 PM (ec2Bd)

3 Thank you so much for taking valuable time out of this most important day to share this wonderful news with us. I checked tonight, not imagining that you would have posted so soon. But I was so happy you did. Congratulations on every level - a new son, a healthy wife, a precious loving 3-child family, and the best way of honoring the memory of your wonderful grandfather. Amazing that we can feel so connected to someone we never met! And yet we do... Thank you again for sharing this news, and your life, with us.

Posted by: Amy at April 05, 2006 09:18 PM (XQOEH)

4 Congrats! YAEH! I hope you're all hanging in there.

Posted by: C at April 05, 2006 09:24 PM (V2Gqw)

5 WOO HOO!!! Congradulations, Papa!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 05, 2006 09:49 PM (wYbS/)

6 Congratulations!! I'm soooo happy for you

Posted by: Zya at April 05, 2006 10:02 PM (lVC6g)

7 Yay!!! Congratulations guys.

Posted by: phin at April 05, 2006 10:13 PM (9Vcb6)

8 My wife and I send our congratulations with those of the Blogosphere on the birth of your son and the renewed health of the Viking Bride.

Posted by: Edd at April 05, 2006 10:38 PM (yiTzD)

9 Hooray! Congrats to all of you!

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 06, 2006 01:18 AM (jOkK0)

10 CONGRATULATIONS!! All my best wishes to the whole family.

Posted by: Mia at April 06, 2006 01:30 AM (/buqi)

11 Congratulations! It's so nice to hear everyone is doing well. I hope and pray all the best for you and your family.

Posted by: Dr Pants at April 06, 2006 03:55 AM (h/w1u)

12 CONGRATULATIONS!! Thank you for stopping and letting us know. May God continue to bless your wonderful family. What wonderful, wonderful news!! All my love, M

Posted by: Margi at April 06, 2006 05:01 AM (BRtaN)

13 Welcome to the world. little one! Congratulations, family! All of our thoughts are with you all, and thanks for the awesome news!

Posted by: Mandalei at April 06, 2006 05:53 AM (339IQ)

14 Congratulations! I'm so relieved you are all ok. (For some reason I'm a little teary myself...)

Posted by: Nic at April 06, 2006 06:13 AM (JijW0)

15 Congratulations to the entire RP family. Larger now, by one. Such good news to wake up to! :-D

Posted by: Jennifer at April 06, 2006 07:59 AM (jl9h0)

16 What wonderful, wonderful news! Congrats to all of you.

Posted by: oddybobo at April 06, 2006 08:03 AM (6Gm0j)

17 Fantastic news! So happy to hear that everyone is doing well. Congratulations!!!!! I may be biased, but anything "wicked" is always good. Get some rest now RP.

Posted by: Wicked H at April 06, 2006 08:43 AM (iqFar)

18 oh, bless! May God continue to grant his favour to you and yours -- the new little bundle 'o' joy, notwithstanding! congrats, rp : )

Posted by: amelie at April 06, 2006 08:53 AM (J0CVQ)

19 How wonderful! Congratulations, and I hope you spring him from the NICU very soon.

Posted by: Phoenix at April 06, 2006 09:47 AM (4N2f4)

20 RP - I am so glad everyone is safe and sound - Mazel Tov!!!! It's good to see you are continuing a great Jewish tradition. I was named for my paternal grandfather Martin Meyer. Like your son, I never knew him as he dided just months before I was born. I carry my name proudly in his blessed memory, just as I am sure your son will. This is just terrific news!

Posted by: Mark at April 06, 2006 10:04 AM (Y1YOa)

21 Oh, what wonderful news! You have all been in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm so happy to hear that all is well. Congrats on your new arrival!

Posted by: Bridget at April 06, 2006 10:05 AM (aot1k)

22 WOOOHOOOOO! Mazeltov! That's wonderful news. The husband and I are thrilled for all of you!

Posted by: Kathy at April 06, 2006 10:20 AM (cipZl)

23 Mazeltov RP and congratulations to you and your family.

Posted by: David at April 06, 2006 10:34 AM (Mlped)

24 Outstanding! Wishing mother and baby -- and all of you -- the very best.

Posted by: MCNS at April 06, 2006 11:01 AM (pbCqD)

25 That's wonderful news, RP! I'm so happy for you and your family, and relieved that everything has turned out well. Maybe prayers do make a difference? I'm not sure, but this may have been one of the biggest munuvian events in quite awhile! Definitely the most nerve-wracking. It's all worth it though, everybody is healthy and you have a new baby boy! Woohoo!

Posted by: Oorgo at April 06, 2006 11:08 AM (lM0qs)

26 I do hope the Mohel doesn't take tips.

Posted by: Bob at April 06, 2006 11:33 AM (yMzz+)

27 Such wonderful news! Mazel Tov to you and your whole beautiful family.

Posted by: Jocelyn at April 06, 2006 12:00 PM (jkRb/)

28 RP- I'm so happy to hear that all went well. Congratulations! Angie

Posted by: Angie at April 06, 2006 12:40 PM (PQx1b)

29 Congratulations!

Posted by: seawitch at April 06, 2006 01:00 PM (k/i4O)

30 A baby is GodÂ’s opinion that life should go on. - Carl Sandburg Wishing you all the best!

Posted by: Amy at April 06, 2006 01:58 PM (nUCsP)

31 Fantastic! Congratulations, RP. Please pass that on to the Viking Bride as well. I'm so happy for y'all! :-D

Posted by: Jim at April 06, 2006 02:05 PM (oqu5j)

32 OH RP! I'm crying. Congratulations! And you're naming him for your grandfather. How wonderful! :-) :-) :-) :-) Thank you for taking the time to let us know. :-) *all smiles*

Posted by: Amber at April 06, 2006 03:03 PM (zQE5D)

33 Yay! A hearty congratulations to you and your family. Many years of continued happiness to you all.

Posted by: Primal at April 06, 2006 04:02 PM (icY2D)

34 Sorry I'm late! Congrats to you and the whole family, RP! That's just great news and I'm really happy for everyone. Howard

Posted by: Howard at April 07, 2006 02:26 PM (u2JaN)

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The results of the amnio are back and the baby's lungs are mature. That means, that as of about an hour ago, they gave my wife Cervidil. The labor induction has begun. I will join her tomorrow morning and, assuming everything goes smoothly, we will have a new baby tomorrow evening and the Viking Bride will be all better.

Thank you all, so very much, for your kind thoughts and your prayers and your emails. I have not been able to respond to them all (uh, any of them, actually) but I have read them and they helped.

Meanwhile, I leave you with the instructions the Boy Child (aged 3) told me to communicate to the doctor:

Pappa, tomorrow you go hopsbital, you see doctor, you say: "mamma ready come home now, she come home now", ok?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 07:51 PM | Comments (21) | Add Comment
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1 Oh, thank you for keeping us abreast. Bless her, you, the baby, and your lovely family. Prayers and good thoughts are still with you all. ; )

Posted by: Christina at April 04, 2006 08:03 PM (zJsUT)

2 Excellent news!

Posted by: nic at April 04, 2006 08:07 PM (l+W8Z)

3 Oh that IS good news. I'll keep praying until you say stop, though. Deal? xoxo

Posted by: Margi at April 04, 2006 08:43 PM (BRtaN)

4 Oh, gracious! That's wonderful news! Keeping the fingers and toes crossed. Go to bed, by the way. You're going to be sleep deprived soon.

Posted by: Kathy at April 04, 2006 09:35 PM (cipZl)

5 AWESOME!!! Really happy for all of you!!!!

Posted by: Mark at April 04, 2006 09:35 PM (lQg4b)

6 Woo Hoo!!!! Yay for lung maturity! Mazel tov, my friend.

Posted by: Linda at April 04, 2006 09:58 PM (4gch1)

7 Great news. We'll keep praying, try to get some sleep. Not that you'll do it, but that's what everybody told me, so I figured it's good advice.

Posted by: phin at April 04, 2006 10:15 PM (9Vcb6)

8 Are prayers have been with your family and in a special communion confessional today. We will continue those prayers for you and the familyÂ… Yours in ChristÂ…

Posted by: Edd at April 04, 2006 10:25 PM (yiTzD)

9 Oh!! I'm so happy for you and relieved! that is great news I mean, of course *we* all knew it was going to be okay!

Posted by: Zya at April 05, 2006 02:37 AM (lVC6g)

10 Yay! We will all continue to send good karma and lots of prayers your way RP. Looking forward to hear continuing good news. Sneak in some rest too....

Posted by: Wicked H at April 05, 2006 06:45 AM (iqFar)

11 We're thinking of y'all! DOn't hesitate to let us know if there's anything you need!

Posted by: Mandalei at April 05, 2006 06:56 AM (LcyhB)

12 oh, bless -- that's wonderful news! i'm still praying for and thinking of you and your family. hope all goes well in the final segment of the journey..

Posted by: amelie at April 05, 2006 07:49 AM (J0CVQ)

13 That's great news! Best wishes and hopes that all goes well and smoothly. I can't wait to hear if this little one is another Boy Child or Girl Child.

Posted by: Jordana at April 05, 2006 10:26 AM (ec2Bd)

14 I'm very happy to hear it! I know you're not out of the water yet, but it's close now and the outlook is much better than a couple of days ago. Good luck, and God bless

Posted by: Oorgo at April 05, 2006 10:47 AM (lM0qs)

15 My wife's birthday (40th this year!) is/was on April 4. Looks like your newest just missed being her "twin." Best wishes for a safe delivery.

Posted by: JohnL at April 05, 2006 10:57 AM (Hs4rn)

16 Best news of today. And let us know as soon as you have a second for that. I wish you all to be healthy and happy.

Posted by: Jurate at April 05, 2006 02:25 PM (5V0wA)

17 Great! I'll keep the positive thoughts flowing and look forward to a baby announcement.

Posted by: Jocelyn at April 05, 2006 03:40 PM (jkRb/)

18 OMG! The baby's coming early! How did I miss out on this!? Wow, I thought I was here just the other day! RP! My thoughts are with you and Viking Bride! I know you're busy but I can't wait until you update! :-) {{{hugs to all of you}}} !!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Amber at April 05, 2006 03:47 PM (zQE5D)

19 Fabulous news! I can't wait to hear that all is well and ten new fingers and ten new toes have joined the RP family!

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 05, 2006 05:14 PM (jOkK0)

20 And? Well? I mean, what...are you TOO BUSY FOR US? Waiting with baited breath, for the best of all possible news.es. :-)

Posted by: Jennifer at April 05, 2006 05:23 PM (y4DOI)

21 Sounds like the Boy Child has the right idea. Many prayers headed your way.

Posted by: oddybobo at April 05, 2006 05:24 PM (6Gm0j)

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I have finally gotten the children to bed. We called Mamma at the "hobspital" on my cell phone, put her on speaker, and included her in the good night stories and the songs. The kids sang Norwegian children's songs for her and I think she melted.

I am beat. I drove down to the hospital this morning and had breakfast with my wife. Then trained into the city to go to work for a couple of hours and returned in the late afternoon. After another visit and a consultation with her doctor, I drove home to take the kids.

The doctor was interesting. Basically, my wife is getting worse, trending from mild to severe. The blood pressure is up and rising and the other issues are going the same way. If it weren't for the gestational diabetes, they would have induced labor already. Why wait? With gestational diabetes there are lung maturation issues. You see, complication upon complication. What we are going to do, assuming she stays the same, is to have an amnio again tomorrow morning to check for lung maturation on the baby. If the lungs are mature, they induce right away. If the lungs are not quite ready, and my wife is stable, they will try to delay the process for a couple of extra days. If, however, my wife begins to get worse, they induce, regardless of lung maturity status. Either way, we're getting a baby by the end of the week.

Thank you, all of you, for your good wishes, kind thoughts, and your prayers. I appreciate them all. I don't have the time right now to personally answer each one, as I am sure you understand, but I read them all and am grateful.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:03 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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1 Don't forget to take care of yourself, RP. When your Viking Bride and new baby come home, things will get even busier. Sending best wishes as always to everyone.

Posted by: Jocelyn at April 03, 2006 08:42 PM (jkRb/)

2 What a wonderful father, husband, and man you are. Continuing prayers and good thoughts. Love to you all.

Posted by: Chrissy at April 03, 2006 09:00 PM (zJsUT)

3 ((*Hugs*)) Sending all good thoughts to you and your family.

Posted by: DogsDontPurr at April 03, 2006 09:35 PM (guP8d)

4 still thinking and praying; my best to you all

Posted by: amelie at April 04, 2006 12:00 AM (J0CVQ)

5 our thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Take care and give my love to the Viking Bride.

Posted by: caltechgirl at April 04, 2006 12:18 AM (jOkK0)

6 I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm here if you need a shoulder. I should note, right here, that I am confident that your darling wife and child will be just fine. And I think I can say that with some authority, given the fact that my pregnancy and your Viking Bride's are scarily similar in the end-game department. It was *damned scary* at the time -- but you get through it. Peanut was 4 pounds 15 ounces when he decided to scare the hell out of us all -- and I'm cuddling a healthy 10 pound baby boy today. It should also be noted that I was 4 pounds 15 ounces at MY birth -- six weeks early. I was skinny and early -- and haven't been either one since! *wan smile* Just know that we're here -- praying like mad and sending our healing love and light to you all. xoxo

Posted by: Margi at April 04, 2006 01:25 AM (BRtaN)

7 RP, you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers as well!

Posted by: Oddybobo at April 04, 2006 10:00 AM (6Gm0j)

8 Fingers and toes crossed; happy thoughts being sent toward the second star on the right; prayers being prayed---we've got the bases covered. Take care of yourself so you can take care of everyone else. Much love to you, the kids and the Viking Bride.

Posted by: Kathy at April 04, 2006 10:42 AM (cipZl)

9 I echo Jocelyns remarks, remember to try and get sleep yourself, and eat etc., because the constant travel and kids can run you completely ragged. I've been there and I empathize, although I'm sure you'll do better because you seem to be better at managing your time. Again, waiting in anticipation, believing the best.

Posted by: Oorgo at April 04, 2006 11:46 AM (lM0qs)

10 Best wishes from Texas.

Posted by: David at April 04, 2006 01:37 PM (Mlped)

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I lack the inspiration to title this post. I am, at this point, exhausted and am really just writing this to unwind a bit. Last night, I allowed the kids to have a sleep over again. After a while, the Girl Child called to me and I went running upstairs:

GC: Pappa, my tummy hurts. I don't feel good.

Me: [honestly, thinking at this point that this is the last thing I need] What's wrong, peanut? Is your tummy unhappy?

GC: Well, its not happy; its not angry or disappointed, but its not happy. I think that maybe its just empty. Dinner was a long time ago.

Funny, since I recalled, at that point, exactly what she ate the day. Breakfast, one huge slice of Challah, toasted with butter and jelly. Then we ran errands and came home and she ate a bowl of oatmeal with a half a bannana. Then she went to a birthday party and ate cake and pizza. We came home and she ate 6 dumplings that her brother and I brought home from lunch for her. Then she napped. A little candy after her nap and a little ice cream when we visited her mother at the hospital. Dinner with my parents where she had bread and a whole plate of tortellini. And she was empty. Did I mention that you can see the girl's ribs and she eats like this? Unreal.

So, update on the wife's situation. She is not coming home from the hospital. Not until after she gives birth. We are on a day to day thing here. Her pressure keeps moving in ways that make everyone unhappy and her liver enzymes are increasing. There is no way to know but there is a sense that she is brewing something and everyone is nervous that it could escalate at any moment. So, she stays.

The kids saw her twice today. Once in the morning after breakfast and once after naps. They understand that she is not well. The Boy Child told my mother: "My mother in hobspital; she not feeling well. She sick." The Girl Child hasn't spoken about it but she knew the instant we pulled into the parking lot that this was the hospital that she went to visit her great-grandfather when he was dying. She asked me, as I switched off the engine, "are you sad to be here, Pappa?" I told her I wasn't, that I wasn't sad any more about my grandfather dying but that I was happy about the wonderful life he lived. She seemed to accept that, but, you never know. She's a deep one and there is, really, no question in my mind that she has made a connection between the hospital and death and her mother being there. I hope, merely, that it fades.

I don't want to end on that last thought. Instead, I will end on hope. I leave with a thought of hope. And the words of the Boy Child, who wanted to know if his mother could come home and check on him sleeping. I told him she couldn't.

Finally, I leave you with Kiss me Kate. We, the kids and me, have been listening to the soundtrack.

Its too darn hot.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:12 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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They're keeping her, maybe until sometime on Monday, maybe longer. The problems are, potentially, very serious and they don't want to take any chances.

I am exhausted. The kids are down napping, now, and when they wake I will take them to visit their mother at the hospital. They have, needless to say, no idea of the seriousness of the problem. All they know is that Mamma is having some tests and they need her to stay over.

I am feeling a number of things right now. Worried about my wife, concerned about the kids, unsettled by the hour to hour uncertainty, and a tad overwhelmed. It feels, for the first time, like I am a single parent, like I have sole responsibility for the kids and that's it and it may be for some time. Its different from having the kids for a week while my wife is away on business, for instance. I can't say how, but it is hugely different.

Our nanny has not offered to help at all. Meaning, she has not asked if there is anything she can do. She has no plans this weekend. I know because she told me that. If I was undecided at all, I am now resolved that this will be her last week. Come Friday, I will fire her. If I'm gonna be alone with the kids, then fine, let me be alone with them and at least I can do it while just wearing boxer shorts.

I will post more, if I have the opportunity, later. Or not. We'll see how it goes.

Thank you, by the way, for all your kind comments. They were awfully nice to read.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 02:35 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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