September 28, 2005
No title
I woke this morning an hour later than I normally do on a weekday. I woke alone, in a giant four poster king size bed, in a corner room, paneled entirely in some rich oak looking wood, high over Park Avenue. I was not hung over, exactly. Not really. Just tired from the steady consumption of excellent bourbon, fine single malt, and first rate wines (both white and red) over the space of some five-six hours the night before. I include the roof top cocktail party with the stunning view of the Chrysler Building all lit up. Beautiful night for it.
There is something to be said for going to bed alone after having overindulged in good food, fine spirits, and diverting conversation. Something neatly self contained about taking all the fellowship and happiness and walking away with it tucked into your breast pocket. Sends you off to bed with a warm glow. Maybe that was the single malt, of course.
I think I am going to like these monthly obligations -- attending a board meeting in black tie (cause I love getting dressed up!), socializing, drinking, eating, etc. A reminder of life before children when your obligations to others was more theoretical and you could seek your own pleasure, within limits, without worrying overly much about the consequences.
Today, however, I am a bit less useful than normal. A residual effect of the booze, despite my best attempts to sweat it out in the fitness center before coming to work.
Posted by: Random Penseur at
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Ah, the things we must endure....
Glad you had an enjoyable evening RP!
Posted by: Wicked H at September 28, 2005 12:27 PM (iqFar)
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Glad you enjoyed yourself; sounds wonderful. :-)
Posted by: Amber at September 28, 2005 01:54 PM (zQE5D)
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Bourbon, single malt, and wine? Holy cow, RP. If it was me, I'd have woken up 6 hours later, with an imprint of the toilet bowl on my forehead.
Posted by: Howard at September 28, 2005 03:54 PM (u2JaN)
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Howard, I went to sleep at 11 and woke at 5:45. I was on the elliptical torture machine at 6:15 and stayed on for 50 minutes or some 700+ calories. That turned out to be the high point of my day, I'm afeared.
Posted by: RP at September 28, 2005 04:03 PM (LlPKh)
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I do admire a man who can mix his drinks. Or maybe it's a man who can drink mixed drinks. Sounds like you had a good time.
Posted by: Jocelyn at September 28, 2005 04:28 PM (p6cmr)
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That my friend, (to use a term that's probably 10 years younger than I am) is hardcore. Up at 6:15 working out after a night of drinking, are you sure you're not a star in a 50's movie?

I'm afraid I'd still be asleep a good 12 hrs after somehow making it up to my room by the grace of some sympathetic soul. Either that or I would have woke up somewhere entirely different without a wallet and only half my clothes. I'm a cheap drink drunk, and a cuddly one at that.
Posted by: Oorgo at September 28, 2005 07:31 PM (lM0qs)
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Did I misread this? Given your post and then the comment above am I to believe that you ROUTINELY wake up at 4:45 in the morning?
*shudders*
You morning people amaze me.
Posted by: Margi at September 29, 2005 02:44 AM (nwEQH)
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LOL Margi, at 4:45 in the morning I'm letting the dogs out one last time before heading out the door myself.
The best thing about being on the early shift is having your afternoons free.
Posted by: Ted at September 29, 2005 08:41 AM (blNMI)
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Actually, this post raises some troubling questinos for me, which I enumerate at http://mthollywood.blogspot.com/2005/09/is-this-life-of-haute-booboisie-i-drop.html
I'd be interested to read RP's response.
Posted by: John Bruce at September 29, 2005 01:04 PM (jOZ0N)
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Just in case you all were wondering, I replied to John via email.
Posted by: RP at September 29, 2005 03:32 PM (LlPKh)
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If we didn't over-indulge from time to time, it wouldn't be as much fun when we do it
Posted by: Helen at September 30, 2005 07:15 AM (Fpvv4)
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Holy Hangovers, batman!
A lawyer in a black tie, drinking by the light of the Chrysler building..
Damn. Now,I want my own TV show too. Danny Bonaduce is a poser.
Posted by: Rob at October 02, 2005 10:51 PM (Gkhif)
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September 23, 2005
Sort of just occurred to me
You know what the worst thing is about walking sideways to your responsibilities, at least your work related ones? It makes every day feel like Monday, every morning feel like the same start to the same day it was yesterday. It makes Friday feel like something other than the end of the work week and the it makes the weekend feel somehow devauled, somehow less merited. You end each day with the same to do list you begin it with and you realize that time passed but you gained no traction on it. The same lassitude gently laps at you and pulls, stupidly at you, like too much humidity and not enough cool air. This is what happens when your week is filled with responsibilities other than work, when you put on a dinner for around 250 people that lasts for 5 hours, when you attend board meetings, attend committee meetings, when you occupy yourself with everything other than your occupation. A person, could develop a cold. Or at least a feeling that the end of the week is nigh but not for you.
It has been a complicated week but not a productive week, not for me at work at least.
But the dinner I organized, in recognition for Vietnam Vets, was a huge success. One Vet wrote me:
that was the most deeply moving evening I have ever had over my Vietnam experience and it is because you pursued the idea and made it happen. i will never forget last night.
That makes it feel a bit better.
But not enough to make it feel like a Friday. Not enough to make it feel like I should have cashed that paycheck.
Guilt. Unresolved feelings of guilt. It ain't ever enough, anywhere, is it?
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NOW you know how master procastinators such as I feel, all the time. That explains it perfecly. Maybe that's why there are these knots in my neck and my chiropractor has been making it rich off of me lately.
Posted by: Oorgo at September 23, 2005 06:31 PM (lM0qs)
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I don't think you do enough. Maybe you should join the military too.. Maybe learn Chinese and solve the problems of world hunger. I think Bono needs some help. Geez.. Relax RP. You do plenty. Reach up with your hand and pat yourself on the back. Have a Martini and go see a nice concert..
Posted by: Dr pants at September 24, 2005 11:02 AM (RQt8c)
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About 15 years ago my old boss -- the CALDOR print shop manager -- came downstairs from a meeting. He told me that, near the end of the meeting he and the others were asked how they thought it had gone.
"It was a complete waste of three days," he said.
"Huh?" he was asked.
"There are twelve people in this room and we've been here for two hours," he pointed out.
That's 24 man-hours -- three 8-hour workdays -- and we've accomplished nothing here."
I think they stopped inviting him to meeting after that.
Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 24, 2005 04:16 PM (4aqN4)
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Screw guilt. Seriously. They'll extract their pound of flesh and then some.
Good on you for organizing the dinner for the vets.
Posted by: Mark at September 24, 2005 08:11 PM (GTi7z)
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1. The more work you have to do, the more efficient you are forced to become.
2. The more efficient you become, the faster you you get your work done.
3. The faster you get your work done, the more work they give you.
4. Goto 1
Sometimes you just have to say "F**k it" and look out for #1
Posted by: TeaFizz at September 25, 2005 09:53 AM (xTtkN)
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I've heard that if you want something done, ask a busy person. Maybe what you didn't have time to get accomplished is less important than what you
did accomplish? I dunno. The vets' dinner seems to have made the week worthwhile, no? I'm impressed, for what it's worth...
Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 25, 2005 06:16 PM (6rCKM)
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Gosh I've been there and I can empathize. I Hope you find something you like to help you get through the hump of the work place you are in now, so these feelings will dissipate and become a distant memory soon enough.
Posted by: Michele at September 25, 2005 08:32 PM (ht2RK)
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And here I thought I was the only one with this feeling...
Posted by: Zya at September 27, 2005 06:24 AM (MHDwQ)
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Welcome to parenthood, my darling.
Feeling guilty is one of the seven signs you're doing it right.
I'll be goshdamned if I know what the other six signs are. . .
Heh.
Tie a knot and hang on. I have serious doubts if ANYONE else in your life is as harsh on you as you are on yourself.
xoxo
Posted by: Margi at September 28, 2005 12:43 AM (nwEQH)
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Holocaust Survivor to receive Congressional Medal of Honor
Today, at 2:30 p.m., in the Rose Garden at the White House, President Bush will award Corporal Tibor Rubin with the Congressional Medal of Honor.
Rubin immigrated to the United States in 1948 and answered America’s call to duty by volunteering for Army service. By July 1950, Rubin was fighting on the front lines in Korea as an infantryman in I “Item” Company, 3rd Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Cavalry Division. During numerous engagements, Rubin’s actions to engage the enemy and to tend the wounded, at careless disregard for his own safety, resulted in the heroic defense of his unit. In one such mission, Rubin single-handedly defended a hill for 24 hours, allowing his company to withdraw.
Subsequently, Rubin dragged to safety a critically-wounded Soldier who others had left to perish. When he and surviving members of his unit were captured and interred in North Korean and Chinese Prisoner Of War camps, Rubin drew from his hard-won personal experiences in the Holocaust death camps to find food and provide medical care to his fellow captives. The U.S. Army credits Rubin with saving the lives of more than 40 Soldiers.
Now, 55 years later, Rubin will receive the nationÂ’s highest military honor.
Source.
More information on this American hero is available at the Army's website.
Unofficially, I believe that this is the only award of the MOH to a concentration camp survivor. Also, I believe that this doubles the number of living Jewish MOH recipients to two. I have had the privilege of meeting the other, Colonel Jack Jacobs, on several occasions.
As always, I find myself humbled when I read about men like these.
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Posted by: GrammarQueen at September 23, 2005 02:07 PM (glf8i)
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I was reading an article wherein Rubin commented that he used to be just some schmuck, now he's the schmuck with the big medal. Paraphrased, of course, but it was typical Jewish humour sans ego that I thought was priceless.
Posted by: Mark at September 26, 2005 08:47 AM (GTi7z)
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September 21, 2005
Fidelity, a constant
I have been dipping back into some Liebling (I find him comforting, frankly, as he could write like an angel. A New York angel but still an angel) and stumpled upon the following little bit I wanted to share as it amused the heck out of me:
The Colonel's ideal of feminine beauty remains constant.
In this he resembles an old wartime friend of mine named Count Prziswieski, a minor figure in the exiled Polish Government.
All my life I have been faithful to one woman, the Count once said to me --- a fragile blonde with a morbid expression.
He found this woman in every country, and she never aged, although the Count did. The fragile blonde with a morbid expression, wherever she turned up, was in her twenties.
Outstanding.
More to come later.
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That's actually very interesting to me.
; )
Posted by: Christina at September 21, 2005 04:17 PM (KliOc)
2
Oh,
her! I see her every once in a while. She's been enchanting me since my college days. And, yep, she's still in her twenties!
Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 21, 2005 07:42 PM (gGUnj)
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Yesterday's deposition
I defended a deposition in the afternoon, yesterday. It is a small case involving commissions owed to a former salesperson for a major media company here in NYC. The deposition was taken at the offices of the defendant's attorneys located in the same building as the company. While I was waiting for my habitually late client to show, we were meeting in the lobby, I was treated to a display of young models signing in for a cattle call upstairs. All young, all trying to look young while still looking world weary and sophisticated, all bravely clutching their portfolios. Nice way to pass the time. The only thing that distracted me from the parade was the vision of the New York City tow truck towing a quarter of a million dollar new Bentley coupe. Ouch. That's gotta hurt.
Anyway, client arrives (late but not too late) and deposition commences.
The lawyer for the defendant was really pretty bad at this. She asked lots of circular questions, lots of questions attempting to restate my client's previous testimony (and by previous I mean from 5 minutes ago), lots of questions assuming facts not in evidence, lots of questions which were irrelevant and dealt not at all with the complaint or her client's affirmative defenses. I objected a lot. I was forced to. All to the form of the question. I doubt that much of what she asked will be admissible. Oh, and don't get me started on the marking of exhibits.
Well, you had to go and get me started, didn't you?
Exhibits and documents, same thing sometimes, get marked at deposition and questions are asked about them. Experienced and careful attorneys understand how crucial it is to examine on documents in such a way as to authenticate them and make them admissible for trial or for summary judgment later. Why summary judgment? Well, lots of times lawyers forget that a summary judgment motion has to be made on admissible evidence. I regularly can knock out parts of other attorneys' summary judgment motions by attacking the admissibility of the evidence. Judges love to be reminded of stuff like that. If you don't lay a foundation for the admissibility of your evidence at deposition, you are in big trouble later. You should only have to make that mistake once in your career before you never make it again.
This attorney has not had that experience, I guess. She laid no foundation for her documents. She may have some trouble later. Oh, and without a foundation, I'm going to move to strike whatever testimony she got from my witness with regard to any particular inadmissible document.
Anyway, my favorite objection of the afternoon:
Examining Attorney ("EA"): Now, is it my understanding that you did the following thing after your termination meeting?
Me: Objection, instruct the witness not to answer the question. [By the way, that instruction may not have really been totally proper, but still, I did it anyway]
EA: What! How can you instruct her not to answer? What is the basis?
Me: I thought you said you didn't want speaking objections. Now you want me to explain?
EA: Yes.
Me: Ok. Your question didn't just call for the witness to testify to the operation of another's mind, it called for her to testify to the operation of your mind! Totally improper. You want to restate the question?
EA: No. The question was fine. I want to take a break.
*break taken, EA leaves room*
Court Reporter to me: You were right. That was a totally fucked up question.
The whole deposition was kind of a waste, really. Let's just say that at the conclusion, we had some meaningful settlement talks.
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You gotta love a smart court reporter.
Posted by: Howard at September 21, 2005 04:01 PM (u2JaN)
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AND a stupid opposing attorney.
*snort*
Posted by: Margi at September 23, 2005 01:52 AM (nwEQH)
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The clock keeps turning
Yesterday was the first day of pre-school for the Boy Child. There was no way that I was going to miss this; I re-scheduled a deposition until later in the afternoon so I could attend. In fact, to my surprise, I was the only father in attendance yesterday. I donÂ’t understand how other fathers donÂ’t prioritize these kinds of events.
Anyway, no drama. The Boy Child was beyond fine. He was excited to go to school. He walked into his classroom under his own power, holding only his sisterÂ’s hand; she insisted on taking him to his class before going to her own. He took one look at the trucks on the shelves and we ceased to exist for him. DidnÂ’t even seem to notice that we were leaving, didnÂ’t respond to our calling goodbye to him, although his sister got a goodbye after she became insistent, and he was good. No separation anxiety in the slightest.
Well, no anxiety for him. He was golden. I was a total mess. I went upstairs after his door closed and returned a couple of business calls and then snuck back down to peek into his room. The window, while mostly covered with construction paper cut outs, did have some gaps and I snuck a peek. It was snack time. He was sitting in his little chair, one arm insouciantly hanging over the back, the other hand occupied with a cookie, happily munching away with a big smile as he looked around and took everything in. He was so beautiful, so perfect.
I am not ashamed to say that I almost cried. Hell, IÂ’m almost crying right now as I type this. It was the purest realization that he has now taken his first step away from us, his first step out of the house, his first movement towards being his own person. Simply, I am not ready for that. In some ways, change is like death. It is a leaving behind of what was. I am not ready for him to leave behind what was. Look, I know that I am, as my wife calls it, taking my sorrows in advance here but it was just the same a very poignant moment for me. I had the same problem with the Girl Child on her first day of pre-school. She was fine; I was a basket case.
I got to watch his class from the windows of the library as they went out on the playground and ran around. He was a blur of constant motion, taking everything at a joyful and determined run. When class was over, we met him on the playground and he seemed delighted to see us, although he objected quite strongly to leaving the playground. His teacher told us that “he was very sweet” and that if she could, she’d have let him stay all by himself for the next introductory session scheduled on the heels of this one but she’d get in trouble. So we coaxed him from the playground with a mention of the train that he had to take me off to. One of the other teachers exclaimed, in surprise, that the Boy Child ate three cookies at snack time. I replied: “The Boy can himself some eat cookies.” In fact, cookie may be his major food group.
He chatted with us, happily, all the way back to the train station. Everything was “gøy” (Norwegian for happy or fun, pronounced kind of like gay). Trucks, park (his word for playground), juice, snack, all was gøy. He liked his teachers and he agreed that he was very tired.
I was tired, too. Wrung out, actually, and I slept for a good part of the train ride into the city.
I think heÂ’s going to have a good experience there. And IÂ’m glad. The part of me that isnÂ’t sad, still.
Posted by: Random Penseur at
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I cried for each one when they started school. And called my mom and blubbered to her over the phone too, while she started crying, talking about each time WE had started school so many years before.
It's a rite of passage. :-)
And you are a good dad. :-)
Posted by: Amber at September 21, 2005 01:19 PM (zQE5D)
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Awww, sweetie. It's always harder on the parents than it is on the kids. Take comfort in the fact that BC is confident enough to not need the backward glance and let yourself cry every now and then.
And I agree with Amber. You're a stellar daddy.
Hugs all around,
Posted by: Margi at September 22, 2005 04:52 PM (nwEQH)
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You are a good dad, RP.
Just wait until your son says his teacher is "goy" (not non-Jewish, the Norwegian word. I don't have the Norwegian keybord, aw, screw it, you know what I mean!) to her/his face. Better get an explanation of the term to them up front!
Posted by: Mark at September 22, 2005 10:36 PM (GTi7z)
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Thanks, y'all. Mark, you raise a good point. His teachers are all a little apprehensive already about the language gap and being able to understand him.
Posted by: RP at September 23, 2005 10:32 AM (LlPKh)
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September 19, 2005
Catching up from last posting
To catch up, since it seems to have been a while, I have passed a very active couple of days, filled with many things, few of them work related, I am happy to report. Let us kick off with Friday.
Friday
This day was spent mostly in transit. Approximately six hours or so of travel time in order to attend two hours of meeting. Still, it did not appear to be time wasted, although I did not get to meet Elizabeth, as I had hoped to do. We traded a bunch of messages and had several pleasant conversations. However, the point.
I went to Chicago on Friday for a job interview. I think it went well. I was slated to meet with three people and was told that in almost no circumstance would it exceed an hour and I could plan accordingly. The meeting was at 3. I arrived at around 11:00 in Chicago and took the train into the city. I had scads of time and the train, while slow, was only $1.75. I got out at Jackson, in the loop, right in front of the Monadnock building, the last tall building built only on masonry load bearing walls. By Burnham and Root, if I recall. It was a pleasure to see the old fellow, again. The walls at the bottom are extraordinarily thick, six feet, to support the 11 stories above without a skeleton. I then made my way to the Union League Club of Chicago where I had privileges and managed to hang out, read, prepare, and have lunch before my 3:00 interview. The interview was just a couple of blocks down the street, making the Union League very convenient. The food was excellent, actually.
I arrived at the interview 15 minutes early and had a lovely chat with the receptionist. When her relief came, about 1 minute before my interviewer arrived, I thanked her for babysitting me and she said she didnÂ’t babysit me. I agreed, remarking that she didnÂ’t even tell me a story. So she said that was true and offered to tell me a joke. I assented, of course. Just before the end of the joke, my interviewer came to fetch me and I actually asked him if we could wait one second so I could hear the punch line of the joke and he was fine with that. Set a good tone for an interview, maybe, if you can show how relaxed you are.
I met with three people. We spoke for an hour about my background and about the position. At the conclusion of the interview, they excused themselves and said that they were going to go into the hallway for a moment and chat about me. Ok. Odd, but whatever. After about 5 minutes they returned and asked me if I had any more time free. I did and they asked me to meet with another three people and I met with them for also about an hour. I think it went pretty well. At least, I suppose, I made it to the second round right on the spot. I regard it as a positive development, although you never know.
Made it home by about midnight. Long day that started at 4:30 so I could work out before heading out to the airport.
Saturday
Started the day exhausted. Mother in law was visiting from Norway. Enough said.
We took everyone to the Beardsley Zoo in Bridgeport. The kids had a great time. We saw three five-month old baby Siberian tiger cubs; turtles; alligators; wolves; monkeys; birds; and all sorts of reptiles. We left with exhausted children. The Girl Child, nonetheless, declined to nap. While she declined to nap, I gave my mother in law a driving tour of the area.
Upon our return, I had a brilliant idea. No cooking for me that night. I generally do all the cooking, actually. Pretty good deal for my wife. Instead, we would sally forth, acquire fried whole clams, bowls of lobster bisque, piles of onion rings, and bottles of beer and take them to a small beach near the house where there were picnic tables to be found on a small bluff overlooking the beach and the ocean and we would dine. And so we did, all while watching the storm roll in over the ocean from Long Island. The thunder was loud, at times. The dinner was outstanding, above the waves as they beat against the shore, as the light changed from the oncoming storm. We were pretty much totally alone. After dinner, we ventured down to the sand to collect sea shells. It was low tide. We found some lovely small ones.
The Girl Child and I had an amusing interchange at the picnic table after I remarked on the presence of grills and said next time we could bring charcoal and make our own food. I said that one of the grills I would not want to use as it was too close to a bush.
GC: Why wouldnÂ’t you want to use that grill, Pappa?
Me: Well, it is too close to the bush and I would worry that the bush would catch fire. No burning bushes for us; too biblical.
GC: What does that mean?
Me: Ask your teachers on Monday about the burning bush and theyÂ’ll explain it to you.
GC: I donÂ’t think I want to.
Me: Why not?
GC: I think that if I did, it would freak ‘em out.
Might be right, come to think of it.
Then we got back in the car and set off in search of the storm. We drove around for a while and eventually the storm and us found each other. Went home in the pouring rain through very quickly flooded streets. It was delightful.
Even better? No leak at the house.
Sunday
This day commenced early as the driver came to retrieve my mother in law at 6 for her departure to the airport.
The Boy Child arose shortly thereafter.
After the Girl Child joined him, for a happy breakfast of Lucky Charms – yay, Pappa! - I adjourned with the children to purchase Halloween costumes. The Girl Child having determined that she wanted to be a witch. She was beside herself with excitement as we picked out pointy hats and brooms, robes and other scary things. The Boy Child announced that he was not going to wear a hat at all. “My no hat on, Pappa”. No problem, I assured him.
Then we went home to get my wife. At that point, I announced a general nap amnesty coupled with a desire to do something fun. We set off to visit the Railroad Museum in Danbury, about 45 minutes away. The Boy Child was the perfect picture of excitement. He could not stand still when we arrived and discovered we were just in time to join a vintage train ride. He literally began to jump up and down. “My up-I toot-toot”, he announced. Yes, I agreed, you are going to go up in the train and take a ride. His smile was infectious and practically beatific.
After the ride, including a visit to the last turntable still operating in CT, where we got to watch an engine get spun around, we were able to explore the yard and some other vintage trains. Then, a visit to the gift shop where we procured a Junior Engineer Train Set for each child, consisting of a blue and white stripped hat, a red bandanna, and a whistle. I told the Boy Child that he was going to wear this for Halloween, complete with overalls and he could be a Toot-toot guy.
BC: Pappa, my no hat on.
Me: Not even this blue toot-toot hat?
BC: Blo toot-toot hat?
Me: Yeah, you donÂ’t want to wear the blue toot-toot hat and be a toot-toot guy for Halloween?
BC: My wear blo toot-toot hat. My blo toot-toot guy!!!!
All objections to the hat disappeared with the excitement of the realization that he was going to be a blue toot-toot guy for Halloween. He spoke about it off and on for the next five hours. Oh, to be 2.5 again.
After the museum, we wandered back along Route 7 for a late lunch at a small outdoor shack advertising homemade ice cream. Oh, the joy. The masses ate fried things while I virtuously consumed a salad, filching the odd onion ring now and again. After buying the three of them two scoops of ice cream, the banana was declared the best flavor, I had exactly a nickle left in the pocket.
It was a good day. A really good day.
I made them all eat grilled zucchini with parmesan sprinkled on top and grilled asparagus for dinner later that night. Clemintines for dessert, with the Boy Child greedily stealing all the sections that my wife peeled for herself.
All in all, it was a wonderful weekend.
Tomorrow, by the way, is the Boy ChildÂ’s first day of school.
IÂ’m not ready. HeÂ’s too little.
DonÂ’t look for a posting tomorrow. I take the Boy Child to school and then rush into the city for a deposition.
Pax tibi and yÂ’all keep your fingers crossed for Chicago, ok? I mean, IÂ’m not sure IÂ’ll take the job but IÂ’d rather have it be my decision, ya know?
Posted by: Random Penseur at
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Fingers definitely crossed for Chicago!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful family with us, too!
; )
Bueno suerte!
Posted by: Christina at September 19, 2005 04:49 PM (zJsUT)
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That is a very good sign, getting to second base that fast. Fingers crossed.
Posted by: Jim at September 19, 2005 05:20 PM (tyQ8y)
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Sounds like a great weekend, mmm ice cream.
'tis definitely a good sign to make it to second base that quick. Fingers crossed.
Posted by: phin at September 19, 2005 05:31 PM (DGPlf)
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Christina took the words right out of my mouth, RP!
Thinking good thoughts about Chicago!
Posted by: Mark at September 19, 2005 07:12 PM (KoHmo)
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Sounds positively brilliant, from beginning to end. You've been missed, but your time away seems to have been good to you. I'm all for that.
Crossing appendages as deemed necessary for positive news. Chicago is fantastic town.
Posted by: Jennifer at September 19, 2005 07:35 PM (1X5Jq)
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How can you recount a visit to Beardsley Zoo and not mention the free-range peacocks? They're everywhere!
What a great weekend. Here's to the Boy Child's first day at school tomorrow;
**glugglug** Aaah!
Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 19, 2005 08:23 PM (7h1Ai)
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With that kind of weekend, I would have ceased blogging, meself! I agree that BC is too little. Of course, I consider my baby son too little (and he started high school this year *sob*).
I'll be crossing fingers, eyes, legs, toes and whatever else I can get crossed for ya, hon. But truth be told, methinks it's not necessary since you obviously passed to the lightning round on your first visit. ;o)
Luck and love to ya (and your darling, most beautiful family),
m
Posted by: Margi at September 20, 2005 12:57 AM (nwEQH)
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I have all moveable parts crossed for you! You're so wise to savour every minute you can with your children...they really do grow up too quickly.
Posted by: Jocelyn at September 20, 2005 11:42 AM (p6cmr)
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Yes, yes, by all means move to Chicago! Much, much closer to the Twin Cities than New York! This way we could actually meet!
I am sure, of course, that this is a pot sweetner
Posted by: Kathy at September 20, 2005 12:52 PM (yBAYg)
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Good luck! And, as always, the BC and GC stories bring tears to my eyes.
Glad you had such a nice weekend. :-)
Posted by: Amber at September 20, 2005 02:12 PM (zQE5D)
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I really enjoy reading your blog... although up until this point I've been somewhat covert about it. Not purposely, of course, I just don't leave as many comments as I should. Anyway, I live in Chicago and flirt with New York, so your bog is always good "city life" reading for me. Sounds like you'd be working in my hood if you decide on Chicago! Best of luck!
Posted by: Turtleherder at September 20, 2005 03:43 PM (aot1k)
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I love your recounting of family times! Do you realize how special they are while they are happening, or does it sink in when you're writing about it?
Posted by: GrammarQueen at September 20, 2005 05:30 PM (glf8i)
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September 13, 2005
Fog descends on office, world cut off
Anyone get the reference in the title?
We had something technical explode at the office and lost all connection to the internet for the last four days. No email, no legal research, no guilty pleasures, no not so guilty pleasures, no connection to the outside world (did you miss me, world? I missed you.), no nothing.
It was kind of restful. I re-discovered the joys of solitaire. I caught up on work, on phone calls, on all sorts of stuff.
One of my phone call exchanges has been back and forth with an admin type at the Pentagon. In my next life, I want someone that efficient working for me. I imagine it must be liberating. And when you talk to people there, they are always in a hurry. Always. The speech is clipped and quick. The manner decisive. Kind of made me sit up a bit straighter in my chair while talking to them.
I have been arranging transportation and other stuff for a big shot from there who is speaking to an organization I head. The speech is tomorrow and I have to introduce him. Ought to be cool. In addition, I get to meet a Medal of Honor recipient. They are not called winners, I am told. They are called recipients. I am so far out of my league that I am totally relaxed about the experience. Really, what else can you do? Just relax and go with the flow.
What else happened while I was cut off? I have a new niece, according to my wife. My poor sister in law brought a child into the world after a scant 30 hour labor. Kids today, slackers all of 'em.
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Wow, so much in such a short post. First off, congrats on the new neice! Second off, congrats on getting to meet a Medal of Honor recipient!! Third off, congrats on getting to introduce a winner-an'-a-half! Fourth off, congrats on being back on line for some guilty and not so guilty pleasures!!!!!
Okay, I'm done.
Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 13, 2005 07:27 PM (CqT+q)
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Welcome back, of course you were missed.
Congrats on all; new niece, Medal of Honor recipient intro and the return to the Internets....
Posted by: Wicked H at September 14, 2005 08:10 AM (BQhBn)
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Yep, those pentagon types are a breed of their own. I work for a Naval Reserve Capt (who just got a JAG promotion @ the pentagon). She's also an atty in civilian life with my firm.
She took some getting used to, but now I really enjoy working with her! The good thing about military people, they know and accept we're a breed of our own too - civilians, so they don't expect much from us, but when they let their hair down they're great to be around.
BTW, Yes, you were missed! I thought it was the job keeping you away! Glad you're back.
Posted by: Michele at September 14, 2005 08:26 PM (ht2RK)
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Congrats, RP!
Can I guess at the reference? I believe it was many many moons ago in London, when a fog descended on the city, and a headline in the paper read something to the effect of: Fog descends on London; continent cut off...
Oh those worldly brits!
Posted by: GrammarQueen at September 15, 2005 09:23 AM (kqNmk)
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Just came across your blog - great reading! I look forward to checking in often to see what you have to say. Especially liked the conversations with your daughter in your previous post.
Posted by: She at September 15, 2005 11:02 AM (LIkyH)
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Well, as you can see I'm back again;p I drift in and out! Can't wait to read what you have to say. Already catching up on the things you have said, but my my there's a lot of them! Guess I'll be staying up late
Posted by: Zya at September 17, 2005 06:51 PM (HOCyD)
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Mazel Tov on the new neice! May she live to 120 all in good health of body mind heart and soul. How's the mom doing?
Cool about meeting the "Medal of Honor recipients".
I'd go mad if I were cut off from the internet that long! Which is problematic considering how loopy I am already. Welcome back.
(So what is your fave. solitaire? My dh is a Free Cell fanatic.)
Posted by: Rachel Ann at September 18, 2005 02:15 AM (dzM5k)
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I have to tell you.. I love these conversations that you have with your daughter. They always give me a smile. I am beginning to see small glimpses like that with my, little over, 2 year old. I look forward to having my own moments like that.
Posted by: Dr pants at September 19, 2005 05:36 AM (RQt8c)
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September 12, 2005
A question for da ladies
Where do you learn to slap men upside the head? Is it something that comes from playing with Barbie dolls? I'm trying to figure it out you see based on two conversations I had with my daughter this weekend. Remember, just 4 1/2, she is, ok?
First:
GC: Pappa, who is your favoritest singer in the whole world?
Me: Probably have to say Ella Fitzgerald.
GC: Why not me, Pappa?
[Long pause as I think to myself, "oh my god, I can't believe that she just set me up like this and I fell for it"]
GC: Pappa, why not me? Why aren't I your favoritest singer in the whole world?
Me: Oh, I thought you meant to listen to on the radio.
GC: I didn't say on the radio.
Me: I know. I misunderstood. Of course you are my most favorite singer in the whole world.
Second:
She had received spiffy new sneakers for the first day of school, which she put next to my lovely French Westons, which I cannot afford to buy anymore now that I have children.
GC: Pappa, which shoes are prettier, mine or yours?
Me: I think mine are prettier, actually.
GC: Well, why are mine uglier?
[long pause as I wonder what happened again]
Me: They're not uglier.
GC: Well, if yours are prettier, that means mine are uglier. Why are they uglier?
I used to joke when I wrote that I thought I was doomed. Now I am not joking. I am totally screwed.
Here's the thing, I seem to recall reading that little girls learn to become women by practicing on their fathers. Its safe and they can figure out what works for them and what doesn't. If that is what she is doing, at this tender age, I pity the man she ends up marrying. Really pity.
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Hahahahaaaa.
I would like to offer something constructive; however, I can't quit smiling and chuckling...
; )
Posted by: Christina at September 12, 2005 09:07 PM (zJsUT)
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we don't 'learn' it.
it's instinctual...and besides....how is it sometimes men are just begging for it to be done?
rp..seriously...
a woman's shoes - are ALWAYS...prettier
sigh
silly man
at least...you are catching on to the actual level of your complete screwtitude.
Posted by: sn at September 12, 2005 09:54 PM (cHOGW)
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rp..seriously...
a woman's shoes - are ALWAYS...prettier
I couldn't agree more heartily.
And for the record? She's only warming up, sweetie. You just wait.
I have a sudden urge to hug your wife. Can't explain it, but what a woman. :-)
Posted by: Jennifer at September 12, 2005 11:04 PM (1X5Jq)
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Oh you really are in trouble! Certainly girls learn about how men think from their fathers and its great experience. However, keep in mind that females see the whole picture rather than the more obvious one that men tend to view.
I'm still laughing! Thanks for the glimpse of your family life!
Posted by: dee at September 13, 2005 11:19 AM (sZnML)
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Dan calls it, "Don't clip the blue wire". You know, the way you guys sweat it sometimes, worrying about mysteriously upsetting us by what you guys think is an innocent enough comment.
It's not mysterious to *us*, though.
And as my co-genders said above, women's shoes are ALWAYS prettier than men's. Shoes and compliments; remember, that's what we thrive on.
It all makes perfect sense to me. GC is doing a bang-up job as far as I'm concerned. ;-P
However, I can return the favor; I still have NO idea how men just seem to "know" car makes and models, what all the tools do in the hardware department of Sears, how the various football/baseball/basketball teams are doing *AND* who their individual heros are to boot.
Dan doesn't watch sports, ever, picks up a hammer maybe once a year and doesn't go *near* cars other than our two, yet when he's with other Men, he can prattle on about all that stuff like he's a mechanic sports freak who's in construction.
You may not get our idiosyncrasies, but I don't get *yours* either, so I guess it's a wash. :-)
Posted by: Amber at September 13, 2005 12:05 PM (zQE5D)
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It's in the DNA, I swear it's in the DNA. I've had similar conversations with my 19 year old sister-in-law.
You're definitely in trouble. The good news though, you've got some testosterone backing by BC. My poor father in law had three girls, it's no wonder he's crazy as a loon.
Posted by: phin at September 13, 2005 01:09 PM (Xvpen)
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You forgot the golden rule. There are only two answers to any personal question a woman can ask. If it is about favorable traits the answer is "Why you are, of course". If it is about derogatory traits the answer is "My secretary" (or other female that the questioning woman could possibly hold a jelous spike for).
Carry this wisdom close to your bosom, RP.
Posted by: Jim at September 13, 2005 01:40 PM (tyQ8y)
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Those conversations made me laugh so hard. We have two little girls and the almost three year old is becoming so girly. It is so interesting to watch and wonder where they get it from.
I had to send the link to this to my husband, because I think he's doomed too.
Posted by: Jordana at September 14, 2005 09:53 PM (M3W6j)
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My husband calls those "Bullet in Every Chamber" conversations and you didn't see 'em coming! Poor lad. It's because she's 4 1/2 yes? Well, remember, darling, that women are far more advanced.
And I hear Jen and raise her another hug for your wife! If the Boy Child is half this witty and remarkable, you BOTH are in for it but GOOD.
Posted by: Margi at September 15, 2005 01:42 AM (nwEQH)
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Listen, RP, ont the shoe thing:
I am male, and I do not have kids. Still, I would have said her sneakers were prettier. I mean, come on. It's like telling a woman that her dress does, indeed, make her butt look bigger. You must have been having an attack of the dumbs that day!! LOL
Posted by: Mark at September 17, 2005 08:15 AM (qEeIY)
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RP... I rather missed hearing about your cute family escapades! Someone once told me that the trick to dealing with a question you aren't sure how to answer is 'Just one thing before I say anything else, I love you!!' and then you can answer it.;p
Posted by: Zya at September 17, 2005 06:49 PM (HOCyD)
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Yup, you're doomed. Just wait till she's 15.
Posted by: owlish at September 18, 2005 02:17 AM (bJF7u)
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There is something I've learned at great cost over the years which I will share with you for free. When a woman asks a man a question, a man thinks she is looking for a direct informative answer (as would another man).
She is not. In fact, as the female child in question has here demonstrated, she's usually looking to have her ego fed or to manipulate the man or both.
Therefore, when asked a question by a woman
always reply with another question. My favorite reply to baffle the female is to reply with the question "Are you looking for actual information or you looking for confirmation of that which you have already decided?" Gets them every time.
Posted by: Locomotive Breath at September 19, 2005 02:58 PM (W7Snj)
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September 09, 2005
It was rather a long day
I'm posting much later than I'd care to. Sitting here with the laptop, watching the Yankees/Red Sox game, decompressing from my day.
I had a job interview today. It was with a head hunter and it was a screening interview. Mostly, those are a waste of time. Today's was little different. She met me and will "promote" me for the job. It would be cool, a career change, no longer practicing law. That would be fine with me right now. Of course, it means in the long run that I'd probably be exchanging the devil I know for the devil I am not yet on speaking terms with. But still, change can be good, right?
If I get it, I will tell more. All I know now is that there are rounds and rounds of interviews ahead of me and personality tests to take. I was worried about the personality tests until I realized that those are kind of out of my control. I mean, I am 37 years old. I kind of figure that I am who I am and if that isn't good enough, there ain't nothing I can really do about it now. One thing, I'm sure, is that they will find a personality. Will it be the right one? Beats me. Its right for me.
Also, I have that other interview coming up next Friday. I have to prepare for that one of these days. That will take some hours worth of work. All for a job I am not totally sure I want. Still, I'd rather be the one to decide that after they make me the offer. That's a better place to be, right?
Thank you all very much for the very thoughtful, cogent, sometimes penetrating insights you all left in the comments to my last post. It was the only post I've ever put up that I almost closed comments for and then, when I didn't, I almost chose not to read them. I'm glad I did. Thank you for your friendship and for caring enough to take the time to share your thoughts with me. That was really excellent.
Some updates on more important things:
*Two days in a row of the Boy Child peeing on the potty!!! Life is good. He is so proud of himself when he does it. Still having a little trouble getting the little pee-pee pushed down so that he doesn't pee all over his feet, but hey, that's what parents are for, right? That and teaching the post-pee shake. Gotta get that down.
*The nanny resigned last night. Long chat ending up with her feeling that she was torn by her family's demands that she leave. Howard's going to be bummed. He liked this one. I think that the kids are going to be upset. She was only with us for a little under 90 days, just long enough for the Boy Child to bond with her. The Girl Child remained a little standoffish, which will stand her in good stead in the circumstances.
*Anyone seen a Brooks Brothers shopping bag on the over head rack on the train? If so, can you just turn it in to lost and found? It contains two new pairs of chinos that I screwed up and left on the train. They fit really nice, too. Maybe they'll fit someone else really nicely, too, now.
*Finally, I thought about noting this but I am simply not a big enough person to let it go. The NY Times today decided to publish articles about the loss of art and artefacts on the Gulf Coast and the damage to the legal system. I believe I wrote about those things some six days ago. Is that a scoop, then? Listen, NY Timesers, if you need another idea for an article, y'all feel free to come back and browse through my archieves and swipe something else, ok? No need to attribute it, I'll know. And you'll know. That will be quite enough for both of us, right?
Anyway, have a nice weekend, y'all!
Posted by: Random Penseur at
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Personality test, eh? Sounds like ye might have yer eye on a government job. Jus' sayin' is all...
Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 10, 2005 12:14 AM (RUSif)
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Hey RP, anyone would be lucky to get someone with your personality. It has to be fun to have so many options to choose from. Not everyone is that lucky. I hope whichever way you go, it is the best thing for you and the family.
I am sure your Nanny will be replaced, Howard adjusts relatively well. If not, we can talk him through it.
Enjoy your weekend my friend.
Posted by: Wicked H at September 10, 2005 12:06 PM (BQhBn)
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If they determine your personality isn't a fit you can borrow one of mine.
Posted by: phin at September 11, 2005 06:45 PM (DGPlf)
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I still think you should give Norway a try. I'm sure someone here needs a person with knowledge of the American Legal system.. The only thing I know: Since I have moved here my life has slowed down... in a good way.. I actually have had the time to think for long periods of time. It's amazing the stuff I stored in corners of my brain that I forgot about. That has also been the most scary part of it... but the most enlightening as well. You'd be surprised how hard it is NOT to do things all the time.. All of a sudden you wonder who you really are..
Posted by: Dr Pants at September 12, 2005 04:54 AM (RvHGr)
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It's such a struggle, this thing called life. Never ending. Always changing. Wonder, confusion, awe, tension, and gratitude, all balanced on one fine line we walk on a daily, hourly basis.
You do a better than ordinary job of that, most days, you know. Wobbling every once and a while is a perfectly natural act. Especially when you're taking steps in new directions, and trying to get your footing.
No worries, RP. I have a little faith in you.
Posted by: Jennifer at September 12, 2005 05:59 PM (1X5Jq)
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Bummer on the Chinos! Yay on the peeing! I did have to laugh at the peeing on the feet. When my son was getting potty trained he got my feet too a couple of times. He thought that was funny, I didn't!
On the nanny, I wish you better luck on your next one.
Finally on the psych test: Are YOU talking to me?
Seriously, I had to talk 2 different types of tests for 2 different jobs. For one job it was a 2hr test. For the 2nd it was a 4 hr test AND a polygraph. They never said the psych test was 4 hrs, and then at the last minute they sprung the polygraph on me, saying only people who were scared refused to take it. I was angry and thought to myself, when I pass with flying colors I will enjoy turning them down. I took it and answered everything honestly, even the personal questions (iuck!)
I did pass with flying colors and received an offer. Apparently I came across as extremely disciplined, very compliant and submissive. In other words, I gave them exactly what they were looking for based on what I culled from the interviews. Imagine their surprise when I kept turning down the same offer.
You are extremely intelligent and well balanced, so you'll be able to ace them with no problem.
I Hope you had a peace filled weekend.
Posted by: Michele at September 12, 2005 09:25 PM (ht2RK)
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Sure, I go away for a couple of weeks and the Nanny leaves. Was it something I said? Did I not pay enough attention to her? I offered to become a Mormon, but I flunked the physical. Oh well, RP, we'll find a better one. I just know it.
And Wicked is right, I'll adjust. *sigh* This'll just take some time. :-)
Posted by: Howard at September 21, 2005 04:17 PM (u2JaN)
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September 08, 2005
This one is for me
Hell, I may not even publish it. I'll wait and see. If I do, I warn you, this a really long, disorganized, extended look into my head at the moment. I am not writing it for you, whoever you are, but for me, as a chance to try to figure some things out.
Still here? The rest is in extended entry below:
* * * * *
more...
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That is one full life you're living, pal. My recommendation: uncork a bottle of good wine because you're right, life's too short not to.
Posted by: Amy at September 08, 2005 02:42 PM (nUCsP)
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Take care of yourself, sweetheart. It'll all sort itself out.
Posted by: Kathy at September 08, 2005 03:12 PM (yBAYg)
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these...
and the random babbly ones..
are always my favorites.
Posted by: sn at September 08, 2005 05:01 PM (FQxzf)
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I'm with SN; I love your rambling ones very much; ramble away. :-) And try not to stress out. Let the decisions happen as they come and do not try to anticipate them. You cannot know before it happens. When it is time, you'll know it.
And you'll know what's right.
As far as drinking aged wine goes...preach it, brother! Amen! From your lips to my customers, fo shizzle. *grins*
Posted by: Amber at September 08, 2005 07:46 PM (zQE5D)
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For being uninspired, you were definitely inspired enough to create this big-ass post!
Wow, I think, sometimes, that my life is complicated, then I read about yours RP and I tip my hat to you good sir. You have bested me, yes sir!
Moving can definitely be stressful, I hope things even out for you soon.
Posted by: Oorgo at September 08, 2005 08:01 PM (lM0qs)
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My, oh my. That is so much more to deal with than I could ever hope to deal with. I was an adventurer in younger years, now I've got roots set down deeper than any geologists have ever seen. But one thing I know. Happiness is not where you look for it. You can't search for it, compete for it, or create it. It can't be found. It comes to you wherever you are when you are content, fixed, happy in the present. Now I feel so foolish. That was certainly a mouthfull of meaningless blather but still I felt compelled to write it, so like your post -- I just wrote it. For both of us.
Posted by: Roberta S at September 08, 2005 09:13 PM (oCcD8)
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You didn't say what was so great about the job half-way across the country was. But I've always heard it said that if you're making a major career decision based on the money, it'll usually be the wrong decision. But, if the job is great because it is challenging and what you'd just love love love to be doing everyday, then you do have a hard choice choice what with having just moved into your new house. With wild strawberries, I might add.
Great to read that the Boy Child will be in great hands in his first school experience! You also didn't say where the potential new job is located, but I'd just urge you to keep in mind what's best for your family. Would the Boy Child be happier at the beach with them strong waves, or in some more pastoral inland town with a stream that runs through it? I dunno. But, I think, being a provider goes way beyond cashflow and deep into the way that a hometown's character, sites of interest and a neighborhood offer/provide fun times and food for thought. You know, of course, that your first career is as a father/husband and you're moonlighting as a lawyer in order to facilitate being the best father/husband you can be. Well, that and because you like practicing law, of course.
Anywho, I'm not not the only one who's sure that you'll make the best judgement that can be made. I mean, your grandfather put you in charge of his estate, di'nt he?
Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 08, 2005 09:39 PM (4Ckx7)
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So much to say, but first, we're sending you happy thoughts (as usual). Second, the strongest image I am left with is the ripping up roots bit. When you transplant, RP, it's often only the least healthy bits that wither or die back. If they return, they often come back stronger and healthier, and able to withstand the jigglings and joggings that come their way afterwards. The bigger roots that are more established may lose some of the hairs that help supply them with water and stuff, but they grow back, and you can always fortify with supplements from which you removed them.
Posted by: Mandalei at September 09, 2005 06:45 AM (XmiP1)
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That's the best part of blogging-you can do it for yourself sometimes.
Love ya', babe.
Posted by: Helen at September 09, 2005 10:16 AM (ID3Q+)
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I think Tuning Spork's comments are very insightful! Good luck, and listen to your friends, RP!
Posted by: GrammarQueen at September 09, 2005 01:30 PM (glf8i)
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Speaking wholly as a military wife:
You said -
"What happens to roots if you pull them up? I suppose they die."
No, sir. They simply reach out - seeking a new place to flourish.
I don't envy you your convergence of "stuff," but I have no doubt whatsoever that you shall come through this stronger, better, faster (like Steve Austin!).
With love,
M
Posted by: Margi at September 09, 2005 02:08 PM (nwEQH)
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I shared your post with my soon to be ex-sister in law, whom I watched go through what you're going through now.
After taking stock of her life and giving it much forethought, she made dramatic changes. She decided to start her own law firm after doing some government consultation work. She now handles complex litigation (some of it internationally) part time, however, its taken her 5 years to get to that point. The important thing for her is that she is now able to have the positive and incredible relationship she wanted with my son and the vibrant and challenging career she wanted all along.
She says that knowing what you want is half the battle, being willing to make the sacrifices and the change to have the life you seek is the other half.
As for me, I've chosen to take detours in my career for now in order to be available as much as I possibly can for my son. True it means that I can't choose to buy designer clothes, but every day as we play after dinner and have fun, I'm reminded what a precious opportunity I have that many others don't.
You too will get there. Her advice to you is keep looking, consulting for the govenment and positions within that area she says will give you the greatest lattitude to spend time with family. Patience is the key while you wait for the opportunity to come. She insists it will present itself, and then the sacrifices you make for your family (whether it be another move or not) will pay off for all both in short and long run. That's been her experience and it's been worth it she says.
Posted by: Michele at September 09, 2005 02:16 PM (FJ2Bh)
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I'm a bit fuzzly right now so bear with me...
Part-time law: Damn straight you can. Same way we have part-time programmers and are considering both a part-time business analyst and a part-time QA specialist. You go for a restricted work load. If you're running 5 cases at a full workload, take 2 instead. If 1 major case is a full time job you take a minor case instead.
Wine: I'm partial to it at this particular moment. Hehe. Mmmm...wine...
Roots: I've lived in...um...let me count...9 states growing up and 5 since then. Roots come in two varieties. There are the cores that support and the branches that supplement. The cores come with you. By necessity they get replanted. The branches grow back.
Changing careers: Abso-fucking-lutely. Change is scary. Hella scary. It's also the only way to grow. If you're feeling stifled in law then go where you can breathe. Remember that career does not equal work. Work is what you do to live. A career is what you do to enjoy working.
And most importantly - No matter what you do, it will not damage anything that is essential to your life. Because you won't let it, that's the kind of guy you are.
Posted by: Jim at September 10, 2005 12:42 AM (oqu5j)
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Work = play and play = work for me. It took me a while to get to this point and I do love it so. If you enjoy complex litigation, then I wonder if you will be happy outside of the law. Remember the law, she be a jealous mistress!!! Have you considered teaching law and would that schedule permit more time with your kids??
Can your wife pick up and move anywhere with your job?
I totally understand how your Grandfather and Grandmother's marriage could be undergoing stress and strains. I saw my parents' do exactly that for at least 15+ years prior to my Father's death. Embrace and appreciate them both with your love while you have them.
I heartily endorse your "stream of consciousness" posts. More fun!!
Posted by: Azalea at September 15, 2005 04:30 PM (hRxUm)
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Funny that I should lack for inspiration
Considering how crazy life has been of late, it is odd that I should lack for inspiration. The situation in the Gulf Coast has numbed me. The focus on scoring political points in the aftermath of the storm has left me feeling like our political culture is. . . What? Broken? Corrupt? Unfeeling? Almost stupid beyond redemption? So utterly self-referential that every utterance, every thought, is shared and feeds on the one before it and acts as fuel on the one after it until they forget that there is anything else happening beyond the need to score points. Call it what you will. Pick your own boogeyman. The Howard Deanism or Karl Rovism of political culture. I lean towards Howie. But he's not the cause, just a visible symptom. Like a pimple on a sexual organ is an outward manifestation of an inner sickness.
I'm not saying that "hard questions" don't need to be asked. I'm just saying that they need to be asked by someone who doesn't appear to have an axe to grind. Is that too much to ask?
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I cannot bear the commentary now, radio, tv. The politicization, the opportunism.
"What went wrong?" Is there something wrong with me that I think there is a fundamentally simple answer: Category Five Hurricane; Huge City Located Below Sea Level?
It's not something people living there didn't know could/would happen, eventually.
It's Nature. Humans do not have the power to command the weather and seas. And our expectations for response, and rescue by other human beings (and the federal govt) seem impossibly high.
Of course we can always do better, and should try. What went wrong and what went right is something that should be looked at when it's over. There's a lot of work to do now and I kinda wish people would shut up and do it.
Posted by: Amy at September 08, 2005 10:38 AM (nUCsP)
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Amen, Amy. Nice to hear from you, RP!
Posted by: Mark at September 08, 2005 11:00 AM (bfiie)
3
ok..so...
how the hell did i miss that 'pimple on a sex organ' thing yesterday while reading you at work?
and
(this i meant to get to typing yesterday...)
no
i don't think it is too much to ask.
Posted by: sn at September 09, 2005 06:33 AM (cHOGW)
4
It's an effect of the polar political culture that is currently in place. The left is so far left and the right is so far right. They don't have common ground to meet on any longer so everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) is a spitting and clawing cat fight.
Moderate politics have succeeded only once in the past 2 years. That was when a small group of senators from both sides cooperated to end the judicial nomination deadlock. And that only worked because it was possible with a very small number of moderates.
Posted by: Jim at September 10, 2005 12:22 AM (oqu5j)
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September 02, 2005
"We are Americans"
Rob reproduced the
imposition of sentencing of Richard Reid by Judge Young. Go forth and read it for it is good. A small quote:
Here in this courtroom and courtrooms all across America, the American people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not
war, individual justice is in fact being done. The very President of the United States, through his officers, come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific matters can be judged and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and refine our sense of justice.
See that flag, Mr. Reid? That's the flag of the United States of America. That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten. That flag stands for freedom. And it always will.
Amen.
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The Gulf Coast: Speculation on Consequences
I am not an expert on any of the things I am about to write about. I am just a relatively thoughtful guy who sat back on the train this morning, closed his eyes, and tried to sort through some of the broader consequences, broader implications, of this entire mess on the Gulf Coast. I think that this has the potential to wreak havoc far beyond the state borders down there.
First, these cities have municipal bonds. They have to pay interest on these bonds. They issue the bonds to pay for things like sewage projects and canal work and convention centers and all sorts of either infrastructure stuff or for projects that they calculate will throw off big revenues. The bonds are usually serviced by taxes or fees. Fees are paid by the users, like with a sewage project. Taxes are paid by everyone. Taxes are generated as a consequence of economic activity -- sales tax, for example. Where is the revenue going to come from now that the city is a dead man crawling? I know that there are reserves, up to about a year, socked away to continue interest payments, but do you really think that money isn't somehow going to get sucked into something else? What are the consequences when these cities seek bankruptcy protection or just plain default on the debts? Are they going to be able to go to the markets again to raise money? What happens to the people who hold that debt? It isn't enough to say that the bonds are insured because, at the end of the day, someone will bear that cost. Someone sitting in their dry and comfy home in a state far, far away is going to take a hit on their portfolio. Oh, and by the way, who hold munis in the first place? Those on a fixed income -- the elderly.
Second, the national mortgage market will take a hit, I think. Mortgages today are not as they once were. Once upon a time, your local bank lent you money, held your note, serviced your loan, and collected on it or foreclosed if it had to. Today, mortgages are the first step in an exotic financial market where they get converted into pool and tranches and debt is diced and sliced and sold off all over the place. This is a mighty big business, no two ways about it. You, the homeowner may not think about it like that as you write your check, but it is. Rarely do banks lend for their own portfolios anymore. What happens now when there is a national market in the mortgage debt and people have no reason or no ability if they have a reason to continue making payments on a house that doesn't exist anymore and for which insurance may not cover any of the loss. What are the implications for the national market as portions, large portions, of two states default on their mortgage debt? And what the heck do you foreclose on? How do you even find the land now that the river has reclaimed it in places? What will happen to interest rates? Beats the shit out of me. I just assume that there will be a problem.
Third, who is going to repopulate New Orleans? Those who are the most mobile, the best educated, those with the most portable skills, they are going to establish lives elsewhere. I was on the phone yesterday with my kids' nursery school and the director told me that she just got off the phone with a woman from New Orleans who is relocating up to Connecticut. She was calling from a hotel room in Houston. Once these kids get into new schools and the smart and aggressive types get new jobs, are they going to go back? I am skeptical. Highly skeptical. They will wonder whether anything in New Orleans can ever change and they won't take the risk of putting their families back there. So what happens to the city when you have this huge brain drain? You cannot populate the city with the Ninth Ward, those who may lack the skills and the resources to re-establish themselves elsewhere. Not to be a doom sayer, but I am deeply worried about the total eradication of the middle and upper middle class in New Orleans. You can't have a city without these people, at least, not a city people would want to live in.
Fourth, what the hell are the people who have a livelihood tied to the area going to do for money now? Let's take the lawyers for a moment. Law in Louisiana is based on the Napoleonic Code. It is the only place in the country with this kind of law. Lawyers admitted in Louisiana may not be able to really practice anywhere else. And even if they were, where are their clients? Who is going to pay them? What about real estate brokers? They sell local real estate. Well, I'm kind of thinking that market may be a little moribund for awhile. Or. . . Well, take any service provider in a local economy. They are all screwed. Are they all going to go from upper middle class to welfare in three easy steps? Consequences there are huge. First, a new and great strain on a cruddy social welfare system to begin with. Can the system even handle these new people? (Actually, one consequence might be a reform of the system if you suddenly get a lot of well educated people as "clients" of it). Second, where are the taxes going to come from to pay the welfare? If the high earners are not earning, they ain't paying taxes. Enough said, right?
The above is just a start. It is deeply depressing and I kind of have to stop now.
Except for this. Kathy (who I love) has written, in the midst of an excellent post about the anarchy in New Orleans, about the losses suffered by her brother's new car dealership in New Orleans. My heart goes out to them. However, I think Kathy is focusing on the wrong thing. It isn't whether the cars are a total writeoff or whether the dealership building has been damaged. No, the question is: who will be able to afford to buy the cars? What if no one in the economy has any money or jobs to justify credit to buy the cars? If that happens, we as a nation may be facing much greater trouble than we all think.
I hope I'm wrong about all of this. I really do. *sigh*
U P D A T E
Well, so much for being wrong. I read the following things on the Times Picayune Blog this afternoon:
Mortgage Loan Relief Available
Fannie Mae has mortgage relief provisions in place for borrowers in Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Florida and other states facing hardships as a result of widespread damage caused by Hurricane Katrina.
With Fannie Mae's disaster relief provisions, lenders help borrowers in several ways, including suspending mortgage payments for up to three months, reducing the payments for up to 18 months, or in more severe cases, creating longer loan payback plans. Such assistance is provided on a case-by-case basis, and is designed to meet the individual needs of borrowers.
For information on mortgage relief, homeowners who have experienced hardships should contact the lender to whom they send their monthly mortgage payment.
and
Ford Offers Payment Deferrals
Ford Motor Credit Company is offering customers affected by Hurricane Katrina the opportunity to defer up to two vehicle payments.
Under the Disaster Relief Program, customers have the opportunity to defer these monthly payments without paying extension fees. The program is open to customers living in counties that FEMA has declared federal disaster areas as a result of the storm.
Ford Motor Credit customers who are eligible for the Disaster Relief Program should receive letters next week with instructions on how to register. Customers must register within 60 days to qualify. Deferred payments are due at the end of the contract term.
Looks like some of the big lenders are concerned that if they don't permit some form of deferral of payment, the debtors are going to tell them to go f*ck themselves.
What do you think that would do to Ford's stock? Not to mention Ford's corporate bonds?
This is just going to get more and more ugly.
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1
ItÂ’s a sad state of affairs, any way you slice it. Thank you for laying it all out so eloquently ( one of many reasons I keep reading your site)
I sure hope you are wrong about it too, but I really think you are right onÂ….
Posted by: Wicked H at September 02, 2005 11:43 AM (iqFar)
2
I keeping fighting it, but I'm in somewhat of a state of shock, even though I'm nowhere near the Gulf area. I already sent money to help and I hope it does but...
Why has it taken so long to get help to the citizens of New Orleans and Mississippi? We're supposedly the biggest, richest, baddest-assed country in the world and we still can't get help to our own citizens for 5 DAYS? Our own people raping and shooting one another? People living in filth at the Superdome where the smell is so bad from the restrooms they can't use them anymore? And besides, the restrooms themselves have become places of violence and rape.
And the politicos are fighting and posturing and even yelling at each other on TV and radio. I get a sense that no one is really in charge or seems to know what to do.
It hardly makes one feel secure.
It's just damn scary and as you said, the economic fallout is no doubt going to be worse than anyone expects.
I hope to hell we're all over-reacting. I really really do.
Posted by: Amber at September 02, 2005 01:40 PM (zQE5D)
3
Here's where I opt to hang my hat: that you are reading anything from anybody at the Times Picayune speaks volumes. Life will go forward, commerce and the stuff of daily living will revive. Survive.
It may take years, it may take adjustmetn of cataclysmic proportion. But survival will win out.
Posted by: Jennifer at September 02, 2005 08:01 PM (1X5Jq)
4
Very much food for thought here. There is a link at my site to a story by Michael Williams who opines that NO should be abandoned after the citizens are relocated.
Posted by: Mark at September 02, 2005 08:54 PM (fHbcb)
5
Ford is going to mail the letters? To whom are they going to be delivered? There is no one there.
Posted by: Howard at September 02, 2005 11:23 PM (u2JaN)
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I read this post with great interest and learned alot! Thanks RP!
Posted by: indigo at September 03, 2005 01:33 PM (v4q2T)
7
Yep. The economic consequences are likely to be huge and longterm, and we're only beginning to examine what they are and will be. Excellent posting, RP.
Posted by: Tuning Spork at September 04, 2005 04:08 PM (PeOUw)
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There will be an incredible amount of financial hardship in the immediate future. But the area will recover.
The area will regrow the same way it grew in the first place. Critical resources and monetary opportunities(waterways, petroleum pathways, fisheries and tourism) will require infrastructure and a working populace to support them. This industrial and service base will offer opportunities for secondary and tertiary service industries.
The brain drain is a definite concern but not an overwhelming one. Wherever there is opportunity, brainy types will flow. The demographic of the Gulf coast in 10 years will be markedly different from the one 10 days ago but it will be there.
Posted by: Jim at September 06, 2005 10:47 AM (tyQ8y)
9
I started writing here but my response became so
long it became a post. If you visit me, there you'll read my direct response to your overriding question of economics in the form of a letter.
Posted by: michele at September 06, 2005 10:55 PM (TWN8U)
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September 01, 2005
Your heart just breaks
Viewing this picture just breaks my heart.

The caption read:
Darryl Thompson tries to comfort his daughter Dejanae while waiting for who knows what on the Pontchartrain Expressway, Wednesday, August 31, 2005.
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Its pretty sad what the folks have to go through there.
Posted by: LW at September 01, 2005 02:20 PM (oqu5j)
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The Girl Child has a preference
My parents are about to take off for a ten day trip to Norway, their first time there. My mother told me that she had the following conversation with the Girl Child:
Nanna: Would you like me to bring you back a stuffed animal reindeer from Norway?
GC: That would be very nice, Nanna, but what I'd really like would be an IPod.
Gulp.
All I can say is that my mother better not bring that child an IPod. I don't care how far she is wrapped around the Girl Child's finger.
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Oh let her,save yourself a few bucks!LOL
Posted by: LW at September 01, 2005 02:20 PM (oqu5j)
Posted by: owlish at September 01, 2005 08:35 PM (QiOeU)
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Hey, RP, I'd really like a Toyota Tundra Access Cab. Think nana would bring me one of those? ;o)> I'll just bet YOU'RE not wrapped around the GC's finger!
Posted by: Mark at September 02, 2005 08:52 PM (fHbcb)
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Never know where a little courtesy will lead you
There I was, this morning, standing on line at the bank, when an older man got on line behind me. On his lapel, he was wearing a CIB -- a Combat Infantry Badge, an honor given to those who have served in combat. I am a respectful sort by nature. My mom kind of beat that into me. So, I asked this man if he'd like to go in front of me on line and we had the following conversation:
Me: I see that you are wearing the CIB. May I offer you my place in line?
Him: That's very kind of you. I'm also 91 years old.
Me: Well, you certainly don't look it. [And he really didn't]
Him: Yes, I was 30 years old in WW II.
Me: Is that where you earned your CIB?
Him: Sure was. I fought at Omaha Beach and with Patton. I was even with British troops during the Battle of the Bulge. They were something else. Can you believe that every day at 4:00, they stopped their tanks, got out, and made tea? Couldn't believe it. Tea. They were tough little bastards, though, gotta give 'em that.
And with that, he was called to the next teller, although he thanked me for letting him cut ahead and we shook hands. I actually shook hands with someone who fought at Omaha Beach. Like I said in the title to this, you never know where courtesy is going to lead you or what interesting conversations you can have. That bit about the Brits was, I thought, priceless.
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That is a brilliant story, RP.
Posted by: MCNS at September 01, 2005 05:24 PM (pbCqD)
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God, I love talking to old soldiers. Most of 'em still get an wicked gleam in their eye when they reminisce. It must've been something to be a part of that.
Kudos for giving him your spot-
Posted by: Rob at September 01, 2005 09:48 PM (Gkhif)
Posted by: Kathy at September 02, 2005 12:17 AM (QKvIa)
4
Great story RP. When I was a teen I used to get tired of hearing my Uncles' war stories, from ships in the Pacific to war wounds at Bastogne . . . until one day I realized exactly what they meant to them and to those of us who followed.
BTW-you mentioned gmail trouble. Hope you got my 2nd email. I will resend just in case.
Ivan
Posted by: Ivan at September 02, 2005 08:29 AM (xy2ZU)
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What a wonderful brush with history. I would have loved to have had coffee w/that guy.
Posted by: michele at September 02, 2005 10:26 AM (DPFIK)
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Definitely priceless. It makes me think of the story (was it real?) that on Christmas Day the English and the Germans played football (soccer) in the space between their encampments....
Posted by: Hannah at September 03, 2005 09:04 AM (ImQx2)
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The New Orleans Legal Community
This is the text of an email I received this morning. It was sent from a law school professor at Southern University Law School. As she says at the close, can you imagine a disaster like this in your state? It is to weep.
5,000 - 6,000 lawyers (1/3 of the lawyers in Louisiana) have lost their offices, their libraries, their computers with all information thereon, their client files - possibly their clients, as one attorney who e-mailed me noted. As I mentioned before, they are scattered from Florida to Arizona and have nothing to return to. Their children's schools are gone and, optimistically, the school systems in 8 parishes/counties won't be re-opened until after December. They must re-locate their lives.
Our state supreme court is under some water - with all appellate files and evidence folders/boxes along with it. The 5th Circuit Court of Appeals building is under some water - with the same effect. Right now there may only be 3-4 feet of standing water but, if you think about it, most files are kept in the basements or lower floors of courthouses. What effect will that have on the lives of citizens and lawyers throughout this state and this area of the country? And on the law?
The city and district courts in as many as 8 parishes/counties are under water, as well as 3 of our circuit courts - with evidence/files at each of them ruined. The law enforcement offices in those areas are under water - again, with evidence ruined. 6,000 prisoners in 2 prisons and one juvenile facility are having to be securely relocated. We already have over-crowding at most Louisiana prisons and juvenile facilities. What effect will this have? And what happens when the evidence in their cases has been destroyed? Will the guilty be released upon the communities? Will the innocent not be able to prove their innocence?
Our state bar offices are under water. Our state disciplinary offices are under water - again with evidence ruined. Our state disciplinary offices are located on Veteran's Blvd. in Metairie. Those of you who have been watching the news, they continue to show Veteran's Blvd. It's the shot with the destroyed Target store and shopping center under water and that looks like a long canal. Our Committee on Bar Admissions is located there and would have been housing the bar exams which have been turned in from the recent July bar exam (this is one time I'll pray the examiners were late in turning them in - we were set to meet in 2 weeks to go over the results). Will all of those new graduates have to retake the bar exam?
Two of the 4 law schools in Louisiana are located in New Orleans (Loyola and Tulane - the 2 private ones that students have already paid about $8,000+ for this semester to attend). Another 1,000+ lawyers-to-be whose lives have been detoured. I've contacted professors at both schools but they can't reach anyone at those schools and don't know the amount of damage they've taken. Certainly, at least, this semester is over. I'm trying to reach the Chancellor's at Southern and LSU here in Baton Rouge to see if there's anything we can do to take in the students and/or the professors. I think I mentioned before, students from out of state have beens stranded at at least 2 of the other universities in New Orleans - they're moving up floor after floor as the water rises. Our local news station received a call from some medical students at Tulane Medical Center who were now on the 5th floor of the dormitories as the water had risen. One of them had had a heart attack and they had no medical supplies and couldn't reach anyone - 911 was busy, local law enforcement couldn't be reached, they were going through the phone book and reached a news station 90 miles away!! It took the station almost 45 minutes to finally find someone with FEMA to try to get in to them!!
And, then, there are the clients whose files are lost, whose cases are stymied. Their lives, too, are derailed. Of course, the vast majority live in the area and that's the least of their worries. But, the New Orleans firms also have a large national and international client base. For example, I received an e-mail from one attorney friend who I work with on some crucial domestic violence (spousal and child) cases around the nation - those clients could be seriously impacted by the loss, even temporarily, of their attorney - and he can't get to them and is having difficulty contacting the many courts around the nation where his cases are pending. Large corporate clients may have their files blowing in the wind where the high rise buildings had windows blown out.
I woke up this morning to the picture of Veteran's Blvd which made me think of my students who just took the bar. My thoughts wandered from there to the effect on the Disciplinary Offices. Then my thoughts continued on. I'm sure I'm still missing a big part of the future picture. It's just devastating. Can you imagine something of this dimension in your state?
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Wow. I guess that's one of the differences between the asian tsunami and Katrina, the amount of infrastructure that exists in New Orleans, not just physical, that has been damaged or destroyed.
I didn't even think of this, thanks for shedding light on another level of destruction other than just the ones seen on tv. I truthfully doubt that New Orleans will recover even to 75% of what it was, things have been lost that cannot be replaced.
Posted by: Oorgo at September 01, 2005 11:29 AM (lM0qs)
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Hurricane Relief
There was a time in the not so distant past that hurricane relief meant turning down a refill on your hurricane at Pat O's in the French Quarter so that you could toddle off to the next bar. I hope we see those days again.
In the meantime, a lot of people are putting their money where their mouths are:
Michele has things up for auction to benefit the victims
and
Phin is put up for auction a web re-design.
Kathy has a good post on disaster relief, including a reminder that the American Red Cross has nothing to do with the International Red Cross, an important reminder for those of us who dislike the IRC.
Finally, I direct you to Little Green Footballs for a huge collection of links to charities.
For me, personally, I intend to wait a little before donating. I want to see where I think I can send my money to do the most good. At the moment, I don't have a clear idea so I will sit back a bit. I have emotional and real connections to the town and its people and there are local charities, local institutions, which may have first claim on me. I'm waiting to see what they need.
In the meantime, I understand that all of my friends are safe, or they were two days ago. I am very thankful. Very thankful, indeed.
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RP,
Glad to hear your friends are all well. It was such a great relief to hear my best friend's voice late yesterday that I just broke down and cried as soon as I hung up the phone.
As a former relief worker that's usually what I do. I give a small initial amount to either Catholic Charities or the American Red Cros, both organizations who I know the inner workings of and have had the opportunity to observe where and how much of the money is channeled to relief, which is part of my criticism of the Int'l Red Cross.
As of late yesterday my firm began matching donations, so now my donation will have an even greater impact. Your post yesterday was awesome and so poignant. My displaced best friend is a writer, and the pulse of creativity and culture that you referred to is why she moved there and what she will miss the most. Thank you for reminding us of that!
Posted by: Michele at September 01, 2005 10:15 AM (FJ2Bh)
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Check this out, too: http://www.strengthenthegood.com/
Posted by: CJ at September 01, 2005 12:44 PM (ntJGB)
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