I lost my patience with the girl child tonight and told her that if she didn't start listening to her mother, I was going to be very angry with her and she was going to end up crying. She stopped screwing around immediately and followed her mother into the bathroom to brush her teeth, which is what her mother had been trying to get her to do with no success. When she got in the bathroom, I heard her say to her mother as follows: What's. His. Problem?

My wife was, of course, convulsed with laughter. I felt quite put in my place. I fear the coming teenage years.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 07:36 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I just wanted to drop a short note to thank all of you for your kind comments and encouraging and thoughtful words. I may not have been able this weekend to individually acknowledge or respond to all of them but I do want to thank you for taking the time to read, reflect, and respond. So many of them are so well written and carefully considered. This blog experience is still a fairly new thing for me and I doubt that I would have kept at it this long without the encouragement I have received from some writers for whom I have great respect. Thank you.

I have long subscribed to the belief that you are known by the company you keep. If I can be said to be keeping company with the likes of those who have been leaving comments, I'm doing just fine.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:24 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I totally crashed yesterday. I took two naps, just like my son. A shorter morning nap for about an hour and a longer afternoon nap for a solid 2.5 hours. I have no idea why. I think that I have been under a lot of stress lately and my body just needed, very badly, to rest and recuperate. And it did. I'm feeling better today but yesterday was totally lost in the haze of sleep. I'm hoping that it proves to have been the sleep that knits the ravelled sleeve of care, but there's no telling. Sleep aside, I'm actually shocked by how quickly this whole weekend has just slipped away. I conceived of this weekend as an oasis of infinite time and instead, it has quickly and quietly passed without notice. I should have learned by now that the weekend is never as long as a two day period during the week.

I hope everyone is taking a moment today to remember those who have made our leisure time possible.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:17 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I came across this odd turn of phrase while reading the NY Times this morning. It was in an article about a hot new area in Korea where the US Army is supposed to withdraw from and turn it over to the Koreans. One Army officer said that he thought it was never going to happen because, while it had been considered before, the Korean government had never been able to find another suitable site for relocation. The officer said that he thought that it was politics as usual:

"It is a great political platform for some people. It's a self-licking ice cream cone."

Self-licking ice cream cone? No idea what it means but I like it just the same. Anyone ever see this little gem before?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:13 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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This is another story about my daughter. We, as a family, had a wonderful day yesterday. We spent a few hours at the beach -- we joined a beach club not far from where we live. In fact, it is only 1.9 miles from our driveway to the entrance of the beach club. The kids played on the beach all day and ran in and out of the waves and dug in the sand and ate a big lunch and took long naps. The weather was beautiful and it was really quite perfect.

After naps ended, we returned for dinner. You can have dinner very casually outside. When we finished dinner, we went for a walk along the shore and my daughter, who had picked up an old tennis ball, saw some kids playing a sort of baseball game on the big lawn with a tennis ball and tennis racquet. She got very excited and ran over to watch, about a hundred yards away. At that point, the boys hit their ball into a flower bed and couldn't find it. My daughter went over to the flower bed, too. I suppose she just wanted to see what the boys were doing. The boys, by the way, were probably about 10 or 11 years old and towered over my little 3 1/2 year old daughter. Two of the boys saw that she was carrying a ball and took her ball from her. I was too far away to do anything more than watch here but she told me what happened when I did arrive. The boys said to her that it was their ball. And she stood up for herself and said that, no, it was her ball and she brought it with her from dinner. And so the boys gave it back. This is what she told me when I got there. Then she said to me, in a very quiet voice, that she was too shy to say thank you to the boys for giving her the ball back. So I told the boys thank you for her.

I was so proud of her for standing up for herself to these older kids. I was also quite grateful that these were nice boys who let her stand up for herself. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I want to raise a strong woman who never lets anyone push her around. I have worried that she is too nice, that she lets other children take her toys and that she, in essence, won't push back when the world pushes her first. Well, she pushed back last night, when she was outnumbered, outsized, and all alone. And she did it calmly and didn't cry. I hope that she learned a lesson from this. I know I did.

Someone once wrote that when you have children, you have given hostages to fortune. I have felt that way all along. I want to protect her from everything and I know that I can't. So, instead, I concentrate on building character in small ways, so that the big ways will come naturally and more easily. I am trying to make a person here. I am trying, because I can't protect her always, to give her the tools to protect herself and to stand up for herself and, especially, to have the self confidence and to instill in her the belief that she is valuable, valued, and intrinsically worth standing up for. She made me so proud and, as I reread this post, I don't think that I managed to convey even a portion of what I was feeling and how I reacted, inside, to this little incident. I lack the skills and feel it too keenly.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 06:42 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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With the closing of Zito's Bakery (see below), I thought it might be interesting to do a partial list of some of the old time New York stores and restaurants which give NY its special character. I've talked about some of my favorite NY buildings, now maybe it's time to focus on the people and businesses inhabiting some of those structures. This is a hard list to create because it means sitting back and trying to visualize different parts and streets in NYC. It's a big city, folks.

*Keene's Chophouse or Steakhouse (1885)
*Oyster Bar in Grand Central Station (1913)
*The Ear Inn

*Macy's (the escalator)
*Zito's (thanks for the memories)
*Fraunces Tavern (1763)
*Pete's Tavern (O'Henry did a lot of writing here)
*Old Homestead
*Lexington Candy Shop (malteds)
*Ferrara (1892)
*White Horse Tavern (where Dylan Thomas drank himself to death)
*Elk Candy Company

*Schaller & Weber
*Yorkville Packing House

Like I said, a partial and quick list. I'll be back to this when I get some more time.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:19 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Ever given a deposition? Or more accurately, ever had an attorney TAKE your deposition? It's a series of questions and answers recorded by a court reporter and done under oath. It's like testifying in court except there's no judge to rule on objections or to make sure everyone behaves. They can be a lot of fun for a lawyer to take. We did one once where the deponent later became a client of the firm and he refused to ever set foot back in the conference room where we took his deposition. That was an interesting day. I am out of the office for the majority of the day today where I will be taking a deposition of an incredible fraud artist. He regularly gets written up in the papers and never seems to pay the price. Without being melodramatic, the noose is tightening on him this time.

I love to wear the white hat.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:12 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Zito's Bakery (scroll down to bottom for picture) is closing. I think that a lot of people don't realize that NYC is made up primarily of small businesses, many of them family owned. If you live your life in Fort Wayne, Indiana, where I visited once, you believe that chains are normal and natural and your needs will be met by the large corporations. Not in NYC. Here the real estate, with some exceptions, is too expensive to support the big chain business model. You can see those guys in their planning meetings wondering where they're going to put the parking lot, can't you? Also, it's tough to make deliveries here. So, when a landmark hangs it up, it's sad. I know change is part of life, especially in NYC where it seems to happen so quickly, it's just that these guys had a special place in the Village and when they lock the door that last time there will be a hole in the fabric of that society. Maybe not a big hole, but a hole nonetheless. And the bread was really something!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 07:46 AM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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When I was at the Memorial Day Ceremony today (see below), a fellow I know slightly came up to me and re-introduced himself and his friend and he introduced his friend as his "law partner". Now, I know the first guy is a lawyer and think that I would have understood what he meant if he just said, hi, here's my partner. But "partner" has taken on a meaning all of its own outside of the legal community and I guess you can't just go around calling someone your partner and leave it at that. Now, if he had said his legal partner. . .

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:14 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Just had a Fresca. When was the last time you had one of those? It was actually just fine.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 01:56 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I just got back from the Memorial Day ceremony. We had some soldiers there and I wished the turnout was larger. Otherwise, we were reminded that our freedoms today were paid for in some soldier's blood or suffering. It is an important reminder. And we bowed our heads in prayer for those who died and those still in harm's way.

I came back to the office sad and then I got a phone call from my daughter at home. She wanted to tell me that she was having lunch and she missed me. She was using cookie cutters to cut shapes out of her sandwich for lunch. She was excited. It made me feel a whole lot better.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 12:35 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Just took a call from Mary at Verizon. It rang through to me because it's too early for receptionist types to be in. It went like this:

Mary: Can I speak to Mr. A?

Me: No, he's not in yet.

Mary: Can I leave a message?

Me: Sure. Just let me get a pen [as she starts speaking quickly and stops].

Mary: Tell him Mary from Verizon called and said that a technician has been dispatched, to his house. That's d-i-s-p-. . .

Me. Wait a second. Are you actually spelling dispatched for me?

Mary: Yes.

Me: You know what? I have seven years of higher education. I think I can handle this big word on my own. Anything else?

Mary: No.

Me: I'll give him the message.

P.S. According to spell check, just so you know, I managed to spell dispatch here, too, without any assistance.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:35 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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We have been having problems getting the girl to go bed and stay there once she's put there. I've been thinking that maybe we've been putting her to bed too early. So, we decided to keep her up extra late.

We put her in her pj's and brought her back downstairs to keep us company for dinner after we put the boy child in his crib for the night. She joined in with a little snack, just to be sociable.

Then, we retired to the living room to watch the Yankees and the Orioles play. I sat on the sofa and got to share a blanket with her as we cuddled and watched some of the game. It was Norman Rockwell, old fashioned sweet. She was interested in the game -- the noise of the crack of the bat, how fast the ball moved when pitched, and all the running and sliding. I told her that this was a special treat because she was such a good girl and then I also told her that it was also a treat for me, which was much more true. We watched for a little while, with the lights in the room on really dim.

Then we muted the game and read two night time stories. After story time, we went into the kitchen because she was hungry and she had a snack -- a couple of goldfish and a little smoked Gouda.

Then off to bed. And she stayed in bed, more or less, and went right to sleep. I label it a qualified success.

Oh, and one funny thing, I took a piece of cold steak (love the leftovers!), popped it in my mouth, and then ran my fingers through her hair as she sat at the kitchen table. She looked up at me and said: "Did you wipe you fingers? I hope you didn't wipe your greasy little hands on my hair". I'm still chuckling as I write this.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:31 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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That was a hell of a thunder and lightening storm last night that rocked my area. It woke me up out of a relatively sound sleep at 12:24, according to my trusty clock.

I lay awake in bed for a little while afterwards. I was warm and drowsy and I just lay there as the lightening lit up the room with these intense, and sometimes sustained, flashes of light. The thunder was shockingly loud, too. I kept waiting for the kids to wake but they slept through it.

It made me feel like a kid again. I used to love lying in bed during these kinds of storms. I would feel so safe as the fury of the storm broke on the walls of our house. I hadn't thought of those times for years and the feelings, and the memory of that little bed, all of it seemed to come back very vividly.

There's something magical about a good storm. It cleans the sidewalk but it can also clean your mind. Everything feels fresh the next day. For me, last night, it brought back old and almost forgotten memories of childhood. This memory was one of those special, private memories. The kind of thing that, as a child, you'd probably keep tucked away from other people's regard. The storm cleaned out the cluttered pathways behind which this memory remained, still tucked away.

It was nice to take it out and hold it again for a little bit. It's comforting to feel safe like a child again.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:12 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Memorial Day approaches this year with more poignancy than I can ever recall before. So many of our nation's soldiers have been killed or hurt. So many others have committed acts of bravery and self-sacrifice so stirring and exceptional that they seem almost unimaginable to me as I sit in the calm of my office. I ask that all of you take some time this weekend and reflect on the sacrifices made by those who came before us and those who are fighting today.

Today we will have a wreath laying ceremony at an organization I belong to in honor of these men and women. I co-chaired the committee arranging this ceremony and I invite you, at 11:45 A.M. (EST), to join in virtually and take a moment in silence, bow your head, and join us as we pay tribute and remember and honor.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:05 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Buddy and the girl are building on the stunning success that was the Australian wine tasting and are getting together tomorrow night for the classic American date: dinner and a movie. As details become available, I will share. Keep rooting for 'em!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 08:03 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I give you the Guess the Dictator/Sitcom Character Game. This one is insidious. Great time suckage potential here. Enjoy!

Posted by: Random Penseur at 04:26 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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From Belle de Jour, who has quite a way with words:

"Isn't the concept of sausage odd? Minced pig stuffed into part of a pig's digestive tract. With herbs. It's more like an anal necrophiliac bestial fetish than a foodstuff."

I happen to like sausage, actually. But this may cause me to re-evaluate. We'll see what happens next time I come across one.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 11:39 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I've been looking at job postings for in house counsel positions of late. It's part of my considering something new phase. Anyway, I've been noticing something kind of interesting about the requirements posted for some of these jobs. After they list the substantive legal experience they want you to have, and the academics, and the big firm, they go on to say that they want someone with "stable work history". Isn't that interesting? They put it out there right up front that if you've bounced around, they don't want to talk to you. I guess I always knew that was a red flag. When I've done interviews for my firm, I've noticed if people have had too many companies or firms on their CV, but I never saw it as an up front issue. The hiring company doesn't even want to discuss it. There could be plenty of good reasons. Spousal relocation comes to mind, for one. I suppose they don't want to take the chance that you either are flighty and likely to take off if the breeze from the ocean blows too hard or, and more seriously, that you have been found wanting by all of your previous employers. Interesting, no?

Posted by: Random Penseur at 10:10 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Jester left a comment on my post below concerning fountain pens in which he said that he forgets that he has them. And that got me to thinking that I bet that a lot of people not only forget that they have them but also may not know how to take care of them. Here are some suggestions I came across on the web:

CARING FOR YOUR FOUNTAIN PEN
*Always cap the pen when not in use.
*Hold it upright and place the cap on top of it to avoid ink in the cap.
*Always use fresh ink (less than one year old).
*We recommend you clean your fountain pen every two months. Use room temperature water, never hot water, alcohol or synthetic cleaners. If the pen is very dirty, use a solution of 2/3 cold water and 1/3 non-sudsing household ammonia. Shake out any excess water and dry the nib with a soft cloth.
*If you won?t be using your fountain pen for a while, flush it out with cold water and dry it before storing.
*If you are traveling on a plane, either fill the pen completely, or leave it empty. Remember to always remove the cap with the point of the pen upwards. These tips will help avoid problems that could occur due to sudden changes in cabin pressure.
*Always try to use a protective case (e.g. leather) for carrying your pen, to prevent any scratches or nicks.

This Parker Pen website has some good information. And Glen has an interesting site with a great page of links for all sorts of fountain pen websites. Borderline obsessive, but in a good way.

Posted by: Random Penseur at 09:10 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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